Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

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Nikolai-097
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#76 Post by Nikolai-097 »

So my friend started running an All Flesh Must Be Eaten campaign. His younger brother is playing some crazy character who has the reckless drawback. After lighting a car on fire at a mostly deserted airport, we were back at a repair garage. The police show up and have building surrounded us. In desperation he drove a broken car out and tossed an incendiary grenade out the window. However he screwed the roll pretty bad and practically dropped it out the window. The ensuing flames caught him and the patrol on fire. Then he realized he had more of the grenades on his person. He dives out of the car and threw the belt of grenades away. The next round they detonate in a ridiculous path. In the end he killed himself, one of our NPCs, wounded two other NPCs, one of the other PCs and all the opponents.

The next time we played he did it again with his new character, but this time on purpose. The pair of jeeps and accompanying infantry were obliterated. He survived this time though.
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Wynni
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#77 Post by Wynni »

We've started our Rolemaster game back up. This time I'm a legendary Halfling ranger (legendary, because you might hear of one, but nobody's ever seen one before). Every roll is based off percentile, and my character has an unbelievable +75 to her bow roll.

We got lucky on an awareness check, and saw an ambush up ahead. Being the woodsy sneaky type I am, I sneak up to ambush the ambushers. Luck again when checking for other ambushers besides the one that flubbed his hide check: there's three of them. so, one halfling, and three targets. OOOOOmgoodness. So, what I wound up doing is pantsing one with an arrow, making him break cover (also known as "easy target") which startled the other two into breaking cover as well, and the fight is on to our advantage.

It also didn't hurt that I managed to explode one's head with an arrow, either
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Keldoth Wolfram Dekel
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#78 Post by Keldoth Wolfram Dekel »

This shall be a description of the crap that happened in my most recent game.

Little back story, I'm surprised out DM hasn't curled up in the fetal position and started sobbing gently. We're the most broken game I've ever seen.


So much so that we, through accidentally challenging 3 neutral gods in what we thought was just a riddle to get past, and through some incredibly unlucky rolls, we ended up fighting a CR 23 whose hit points he upgraded. We only lost 1 guy in the battle, and that was to a power word kill. We were level 13, and there were five of us. After that, he made us downgrade our characters, cause we still one the fights he designed to kick our [censored] till we were wearing them as hats.

Another hilarious thing which continues throughout the game until he downgraded us was the sheer unfairness of my half vamps charm gaze. Most situations could be dealt with through it, including getting a guard to simply unlock me at the start when I was dealt the faulty anti magic collar.

Funny thing happened in a desert once. We, returning to the capital of the nation we are in the process of overthrowing after killing a dragon, were waylayed by some bandits mounted on birds over a field of explosive cacti. We were in our self drawn wagon, which was not yet flying. Feeling a little tired of combat, instead I used an illusion to conjure the image or the dragon, monocered adorably by the villagers as "Death From Above", swooping down at them. All of them failed their saves but one, who's mount failed. It's a given that they ran like hell, but one fell off his mount on the way and detonated the exploding cacti, clearing our path.

That was cool.

This game is still going down, so I'll keep posting more funny crap when it happens.



Edit:
Oh, I forgot something from the last game. It was a christmas special, and we had an alternate DM who put our characters into a futuristic zombie apocalypse. We fought our way through the city to our quest's goal, and I had been bitten once. I was informed in private by the DM that I was going to slowly get more zombie like till I was an evil, sentient undead. Awesome.

Never got a chance to happen though. We found our quest's objective to be a crystal on the back of an ice elemental. Being the party rogue, I attempted to climb the thing while invisible, and after getting on it's back, was bucked off, hurling me into a zombie caster on a ledge, who I grabbed through a lucky role. Wrestling ensued with her, and I was bitten again, making me insta-full zombie. I tore her head off, than ran out to kill the party. I only got one shot off on the dwarf before they simply finished the quest by prying the crystal from the now dead ice elemental D=

Still, totally awesome.
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Re: Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

#79 Post by Trabian »

D&D 4th edition lvl 5-6


3 sessions ago, I retired my paladin. Caused by conflicting Ideologies and such. >.>

2 sessions ago, I came to play my warlord (a offensive healer type in D&D) who ended up dead at the end of the session (together with 2 others).

Last session, I got ressurected, we went back, more prepared. *cough*

We ended up pretty much wading through enemies after that. We were assaulting a keep of Duergar (evil dark dwarves) to save a few slaves they had taken. Then we come on a hallway with double doors on either side. We barred/locked the right hand door silently and entered the other room. We come upon the Lord of the keep with a few others.
After the first round into combat, the Lord pretty much dropped our rogue from max hit points to almost 0. But with some tactical maneurering, killing 1-2 of the others and we were in for a tough fight, but probably manageable.

Then the door we had barricaded gets broken down. 4 orcs and an Ogre surge into the combat, attacking our ranged members in the back.

30 minutes of gameplay later, we called a retreat. our 3 damage type classes got away. our tank was forced to surrender, since trying to run to the other side of the room was suicide. I delayed the pursuing orcs so that most of the slaves got away. At a certain point I had to make a gamble, the orc had one possible attack left, while I was very wounded. If the Orc would miss, I would get away safely. He hit and brought me into the dying stage.

The Lord wanted me prisoner so the Orc raiders ended up doing Heal checks to keep me stabilized and alive.

So last session ended with me being an unconscious prisoner in the hands of a Lord whose keep I helped depopulate and freed most of his slaves. ^^
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Re: Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

#80 Post by ScreedleDude »

This happened one time. Funny now, awkward then. We were fighting two lvl 19 ogres.

Dm: the tall ogre whacks you with its club for 25 damage.

Me: ok, i stab my friend with my katana, in the back.

Friend: 0_o

Dm: *rolls dice*...you stab your friend in the back for 19 damage, killing them for 21 exp.

Me: do i lvl up?

Dm: no, your 200 away from your next lvl, and dont have enough sp for a healing spell.

Me:.....oh crap.....
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Re: Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

#81 Post by Wynni »

remind me not to play with you. o.O
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Nikolai-097
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Re: Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

#82 Post by Nikolai-097 »

We're a eleventh/tenth level party and while walking around shopping my Razorclaw Shifter ranger notices a guy following him and the Half-elf Warlock. Concerned about this, we stop in an alley and try to get some information from the guy. He gets lucky, seeing as we threaten him, rather than flat out kill him. We continue on our shopping spree and the guy starts following us again. My companion decides that she's gonna make him fight, but when he realizes that we noticed him, he runs off. Eager to make him stop bothering me, I start tracking him. Finally we locate his base and find out he has allies. We decide to finish this that night and come back. We sneak in, this time with a huge Dragonborn Warrior and basically obliterate the mercenaries. The Dragonborn is upstairs looting as me and the Warlock finish up with the pair of guys downstairs.

The GM tells us we hear something behind us and we turn around. This guy in a black cloak is just sitting there. He starts talking to the Warlock, explaining that the Church of Pelor is very unhappy with them. My character, a recently hired mercenary, doesn't know what's going on. Then the guy starts praying and moving forward in an ominous manner. So I launch off an attack and deal pretty good damage. He takes it in stride and keeps moving forward. I use a power to move when he gets close to me, so he follows me. Then smites me for 80 damage. I stagger away with 4 HP and am about to shift, heal, then attack again. Before this though, at the start of my turn Holy Power smites me like an orbital canon. At this point I drop to the ground, because of GM regulated damage I did not die. The Warlock decides that she likes talking and so the situation resolves without further blood. Afterwards, we find out that the GM had totally broken and misused magic items to make that work. He even admitted that he had screwed up. All in all it was a OMGWTFBBQh4X moment, an awesome one.
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Re: Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

#83 Post by Trabian »

Warhammer Roleplaying game.

I'm playing a noble that has just been frustrated and angry for a long while, so I ask the GM to describe the room for me, so that I can tell him which object I hit in pure anger. As soon as he describes a large stuffed bear, My character vents his anger on the stuffed thing.

One thing we didn't know about the house we were in was that it was haunted. So after smacking said stuffed and dead bear, the bear smacks my very surprised character once, which almost kills him..
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Re: Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

#84 Post by MistahFixIt »

good ol' D&D, always good for a laugh.

Burly half-orc dude versus my warlock.

"I use my maximize spell-like ability for the day, my Vicious Blow Spell Form, and my Infernal Blast Spell Type."

GM - And you're embueing...?

"My Left Index Finger."

GM - *rolls* "You poke the Half-Orc for 67 damage. He explodes into charred pieces of green meat. Congratulations."

My very own Fingerpoke of Death.
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Re: Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

#85 Post by Dramon_Arizel »

DnD 3.5: I'm DMing for a campaign that I created which takes place in a world where half dragons seem commonplace, and kobolds are seen as respectable... at any rate, one of my players, a Catfolk Spell thief seduced a Gnoll Secretary in a Lawful Evil Gnoll Utopia by rolling a 20 and getting a 56 on his bluff(seduction) check. at that time, he was veiled (a spell in complete arcane) as a Gnoll himself but the secretary knew that he was catfolk, yet they still "got it on" if you know what I mean... we pretty much fast forwarded the night.
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Re: Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

#86 Post by KayJay »

D20 Modern: Our characters are investigating a warehouse in a science fiction noir setting. I'm playing a sniper using an over-modified SMG, a friend is a fast front-liner using two desert eagles, a third player is the meat, and the fourth is a combat generalist.

I take up a position on the warehouse roof to watch everyone's back while everyone else goes inside. I'm immediately pinned down by a pair of snipers (who I saw on the way up doing something I'm not gonna mention) with a Light 50. I'm unable to help as MiBs infiltrate the building in an ambush.

Ridiculous Point 1: I take out both snipers by firing fully-automatic SMG rounds, being grazed once by a single round, killing them from 250 feet away.

Ridiculous Point 2: The combat generalist hijacks a crane and starts crushing everyone he meets inside the warehouse by dropping steel cargo containers and wooden crates.

Ridiculous Point 3: I uploaded a picture of the 'something I'm not gonna mention' to the internet.


DnD 3.5: I ran a short-lived campaign where, within the first five minutes, the players had to defend the king from a number of assassins. One of the assassins managed to score a triple critical with a rusty butter knife (a backup weapon). The player still hates me for it.
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Re: Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

#87 Post by AzeNaku »

In a campaign for my friend's "papergame", the party members were each using a different tactic for decending into a canyon. I chose simply to follow the path. One person decided to try to freeze the side of the canyon with magic and use a shield to sled down. Upon freezing, the spell backfired and caused a massive rain of icicles to rain upon the rest of the party. I quickly used the closest party member a meat shield, which fortunately (for me) worked. The idiot still went through with sledding down the hill. He tumbled down and pretty much died.

I managed to become the nemesis of an entire town, because their hero (another party member) challenged me to a duel and lost. All my meals were poisoned (sometimes by party members). Fun times.

In DND, an old man NPC with a monocle punched a spider-creature-thingy out of fear and ended up killing it because the party had knocked it down to 1 HP.
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Re: Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

#88 Post by mr ious »

playing RP at the RolePlayGateway chat

I played necrio, a mechanic, and was sitting in a bar, when a cat-man uses kunai rain as his dying technique, hit me even when he rolled 2 (i rolled 1), then...

Necrio Cresena ran randomly in panic and drops explosives all over the room
(20:43:23) [NPC] Bartender: [IC]_Mr_Ious rolls 1d6 and gets 6.
(20:43:28) Shinmen Takezo: [[censored].]
(20:43:30) Skorn: (LOL)
(20:43:31) Necrio Cresena: (OKAY EVERYONE IS DOOMED)
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Re: Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

#89 Post by Pyromancer »

Oh man...

Star Wars RPG session a couple days ago. The party consists of a male Shistivanen (wolfman) soldier, a female human noble/Jedi, a female Jedi, and a male darksider trained as a Sith (My character, can't call him a Sith due to the Rule of Two dammit). The game takes place during the Rebellion era.

The party had just escaped a Victory-class star destroyer that had pursued us for a while (at the cost of my character's fighter (;_;) ) and had landed in an abandoned spaceport on Naboo. The noble and her fiancee and the Jedi and her husband are off having some private time together (no details) while my character is looking for a new ship. The Shistivanen has gone outside the ship without armor and picks up a familiar scent. Turns out, it's this six-legged weaselly catlike animal.

Now, this Shistivanen had encountered this sort of animal before and had fun chasing them like the dog he is. He chases after this wild specimen for a while, just having great fun. He crashes through a hedge... and comes face-to-face with about two dozen of these things. They promptly mob him. The GM described it as similar to the compy attack from Jurassic Park 2. He tries to fight these things off, but is just getting mauled by them. He tries to shoot them with his blaster pistol, and accidently shoots himself three times, twice in the foot. So, he calls for backup. My character answers and runs out to help the furball. By the time he gets there though, the Shistivanen's unconscious from the mauling and the cats have turned their attention to me. I get mobbed.

Now, I had one advantage over the wolfman in that I was wearing stormtrooper armor (spray-painted black for style), so the cats are having considerably more trouble with me. I try to drag the wolfman back to the ship, but I'm failing to get anywhere due to the weight of the cats. I blast all the cats off of me using the Force and try again. Again, the cats mob me. So, I shoot the ship with my blaster to set off the alarm and blast the cats off of me again. This time I don't even try to haul the wolfman back. I draw my other pistol and start shooting at the cats to drive them off or at least keep them back.

After a few minutes the Jedi and her husband come out, the Jedi quite annoyed. Still, she manages to sneak over while I keep the cats' attention on me. By now we've whittled the number of cats down to seven or so. The Jedi manages to hit the cats with a mass mind trick to drive them off after healing the wolfman back to consciousness. Once the cats were gone we got the wolfman into a bacta tank to heal. I'm not as badly hurt, but I need to replace my duster and hat. Still, I can now taunt the Shistivanen that he got beaten up by cats :grin: .
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Re: Jesus saves and takes half damage, RP hilarity here.

#90 Post by bobmuffins »

Hmm. This happened about 6 or 7 months ago, so I don't remember the exact details, but we had a party of like 6 or 7 people, I was the highest level as a level 6 Rogue. We were playing with some REALLY stupid rule in which if you kill someone, you got pretty much everything but their skills. Even their experience somehow. So, if I killed someone with 1000 experience, I'd get 1000 experience for the kill.

I can't remember what we were attacked by, but everyone but me had been knocked to 0 or lower health, no one was actually dead yet though, and I had no means of healing them- So I killed them all. Pretty much tripled my experience, went up to level 10 or 11, somewhere around there, and rolled a max-damage crit against the thing we were fighting.

Afterwords we started the campaign over- Everyone being a level 1 but me being a level 11 vacuuming up all the experience, making everyone remain a level 1 but me made it kinda boring. We decided to stop playing with the 'experience theft' rule as well.

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