Doing some World-Building ideas

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TheMasterOfOats
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Doing some World-Building ideas

#1 Post by TheMasterOfOats »

So I've coming up with ideas for a new series, set in modern times and around where I live. I don't know if I actually want to write this, so here's an excerpt I wrote up. It technically takes place after the story. There would be more than 4 characters, too.

Anyways, this is the story.
Spoiler!
The glassy surface of the water rippled, then shattered as the canoe silently cut through the pristine stillness. The reflection of the mountains in the water was lost for a moment, but the beauty of nature remained. Full, uninterrupted scenery, apart from the couple on the lake. Keith was bold, wearing little more than shorts, even on the cool overcast day. Natani was a wuss; she wore a pink bikini (not by choice, but by necessity), and over that several life jackets. one over each leg, one on each arm, and one worn properly. The neon yellows and reds shattered the muted blues and greens of the mountains. Keith was the only one paddling, his small frame rippling with each stroke. Natani was "watching the food", an important task; who knows if the bagged chips and hot dogs would jump ship. Keith had been keeping his eyes off to the sides, avoiding looking at the eye-searing bundle in front of him. As he rowed, however, his eyes crossed the horizon but hung on Natani for a moment.

He couldn't contain himself. He burst into laughter again, as he had twice before. Natani's outfit and expression set him off, the bright colours clashing with the moody grimace pasted across her face. A low growl came from Natani's throat and Keith took the cue, quieting his laughter but still grinning widely.

"It won't be much longer," he said with a chuckle. "until you're on dry land again."

"I'm already dreading going back." came the reply.

Before too long, the hull of the canoe met resistance, it's bladed edge grinding into the coarse pebbles of the beach. Keith stood, carefully, and placed a single foot in the water. He held a hand out to Natani, which she grasped. She hoisted her heft up, legs trembling slightly.

An evil thought entered Keith’s head. As Natani relied on her own legs, releasing his hand, he moved it to her collarbone. His eyes flicked up to meet Natani's, and whole sentences were communicated instantly.

Don't you dare! her eyes were pleading yet authoritative.

Watch me. Keith fired a mischievous wink at her as he planted a firm push on her chest. Under normal circumstances, Natani would have hardly moved. But the weight shift caused the canoe to roll somewhat, and Natani, arms flailing, toppled into the water. Most of the lifejackets fell off and began floating away, pushed by the brown wolf rising out of the water, the long locks of brown hair each dripping their own cascade of lake water. Rising from the rippling water around her, Natani charged at Keith, tackling him into the sand. Her larger bulk pinned him down, their bodies pressed together as they lay in the sand. Natani had gripped the flesh around his nipple, twisting with rage as she seethed through her teeth. Then a change overcame her, and she released her grasp on him. Instead, she shook her head violently, each hair showering him with water.

"It's ok" she smiled. "Now you're wet too."

Keith sighed at the realization, the cool water seeping into his fur. The moisture was refreshing, but cold nonetheless. He shivered slightly, the lack of sun amplifying the temperature of the water. He reached out and hugged Natani close to him, the little chest fur poking out from behind the lifejacket bringing him some semblance of warmth. She stiffened but didn't pull away. They paused for a minute, taking in the silence and each other. It was, well, enjoyable; at long last a period of calm, a 180-degree switch from the hustle and bustle of high school. He nuzzled Natani's neck, planting a little kiss just above her collarbone. She rolled off him, pulling free from his grasp and rising to her knees.

"Trace and Flora will be here soon," she muttered, setting about undoing her one remaining neon floatie. After the jacket came the bindings.

"If Trace and Flora will be here soon," he began his question, "why are you stripping down? They still don't know, are you going to tell them here?"

Natani finished unwrapping the bindings and pulled them off. Her large breasts bounced gently, water dripping off the underside. Keith pulled out his phone, looking to add to his new porn stash (the one Natani didn't know about). He had been collecting after she deleted the first one (ill-hidden among his schoolwork, in the "art" folder. Keith didn't take any art courses), and casually moved to take a photo. As he raised his phone, one of his joints popped loudly. Natani's ears twitched, and her head snapped around. Locking eyes, they both froze for a second. Then, in a burst of motion Natani lunged at Keith, grabbing the phone from his hand. He stumbled backwards, and when he recovered, he saw a terrifying sight: Natani was scrolling through all his photos, porn and otherwise.

"Dang," Natani's tone was unimpressed, but Keith couldn't read her expressions. "You've been collecting a lot in the last couple of weeks." More scrolling, and Keith didn't dare to move. "Iris, really? She's kind of a slut. I guess that's why you have her nudes. I didn't realize she shaved." Keith's face radiated heat, Natani's radiated disdain. Finally, an emotion he could read. He looked up at her, and after a moment, she returned the look. "I deleted it."

"I'm sorry, I--"

"Keith, shut up." Her tone was harsh but quiet. "I get it: you're horny. But the least you could do is try to stop!"

"Ok, mom!"

"Now listen here, young man!" She was yelling now, but in character. "You quit this crap right now, or I swear, I will spank you with that oar." Keith cringed: Natani played on the men's varsity baseball team. If she spanked him with the oar, she'd probably hit a home run with his nuts. Natani held his phone in the air and continued. "Also I'll chuck your phone into the lake."

Keith stared her down. "You wouldn't!"

Natani winked. "Revenge is sweet!" and with a smile, she lamped his phone out over the lake like a frisbee. It flew gracefully at a low angle, spinning lazily through the air. It's parabolic arc terminated in the lake, about 20 metres from the shore. Keith sprang into action, charging across the sandy beach and into the water. It slowed his feet down, but the inertia of his torso threw him headfirst into the placid lake. He frantically swam, the splashing of his flailing arms spraying water in all directions.

Natani set about unpacking the things they'd brought over while Keith faffed about in the water. His panting and splashing created an underscore for her mundane tasks. They had brought only the necessities on their canoe: food, a tent, and a small camping stove. Trace and Flora were supposed to bring the duffel bags. They'd stayed behind to pick up some extra things (probably condoms, given their track record) and were taking a second canoe. Natani set up the stove and put some water in a pot. They were roughing it this week. Natani had experience in the wilderness: her family would do it every summer up until... well... things got complicated. Their uncle wasn't an outdoorsman and didn't care enough to give them a chance. This was a welcome retreat from graduation, from home, from everything. Seven days to forget about everything across the lake. As the water boiled violently, Keith dragged himself in through the sand. It stuck to his fur, almost invisible among the hairs. He held his phone victoriously above his head.

"Thank the gods it’s waterproof!" he cried, plunking himself on his butt beside the small propane fire. "Is this all we've got to cook on?"

"Nope," Natani replied, turning around and reaching into a small bag. The bag was no larger than a book. A pouch, really, meant to be hung off belts. It was dusty, as it had little use in many years. She pulled the plastic black zipper around the outside, mumbling slightly as it caught occasionally. From it, she drew a hatchet. The other contents of the bag were unimportant, iodine, paracord, basic survival stuff. But the hatchet, unlike the other cheap items in the pouch, was high quality. A gift for her tenth birthday, and it was wicked sharp.

"What's that for?" Keith asked.

"Circumcision," she grinned evilly. "are you ready? Take off your pants."

Keith paled. "You mean chopping wood, right?"

"Only if I mess up." The maniacal wink she gave him sent fear shooting to his core. Then she smiled and grunted a small laugh, "I'm kidding, Keith. I'm not that mad about the porn. But we actually need firewood. I'll get some while you dry out." And with that, she turns and walked away from the Bastian and the boiling water. Keith reached out and turned off the gas. The water settled, becoming quiet in the pot. As the liquid relaxed he did too; It was hard to read Natani at times. She could lie so easily, most people didn't truly know her. He thought he knew her. It was hard to be sure. The same was true for a lot of other things. Were they in love? Were they right for each other? It's hard to be sure. Maybe this time at the lake would help them be sure. One week sharing a tent, food, and close proximity may well yield his answers to him. Time seemed to accelerate as he was left to his own thoughts, and before he knew it Natani dropped an armload of lumber beside him. She sat down and let out a breath, cradling the hatchet in her massive paws. For a moment, neither said a word.

Across the lake, a second canoe set out from the small dock. the orange and blue dots resembling the patrons moved about, warily. The two on the beach watched them as they set out across the lake. It had taken Keith only 45 minutes to cross. He looked at Natani, and she picked up his thoughts perfectly.

"Hour and a half, minimum," she wagered, turning to look at him. "and they fall in once."

"I say an hour," he replied, a chuckle detectable in his voice. "but they fall in twice."

"There's no way Trace can paddle across in an hour!" Natani was somewhat agape at so bold a claim.

"No, that's with Flora paddling!" the two laughed. Natani never laughed, and Keith thought he knew why. Her laugh was genuine, something that revealed so much about her, she would only keep it from the light. When she laughed, she threw back her head and let it out, her laugh as unmistakeably feminine as her body. He moved a hand onto hers. She stiffened, pulling away and standing abruptly.

"We should get this fire started!" a note of panic could almost be detected in her voice. She went back to where she dropped the pouch and zipped it open again. The cheap zipper got caught again, but she managed to pull it open and pull out a little fire striker set. She tossed the striker to him, along with "Go at it." Keith set about hitting the two pieces together, and Natani got her bindings. She walked to the edge of the lake and as she turned them over, a large quantity of water came pouring out of them. Awkwardly wrapping them around herself, she sat beside Keith, as he tried in vain to start a fire. This continued for a couple of minutes, with every passing second Keith became more annoyed. Finally, Natani flipped open the pouch and pulled a disposable lighter.

"Here," she said, handing him the small plastic lighter. Keith took it, silently, and flicked it underneath some of the dry branches. The twigs caught the amber flame, and the fire climbed and leaped along the branches.

"You had that the whole time?" Keith accused her, not out of anger though. "You already got your revenge for the porn thing."

"No, I just wanted to see what you could do." Came the reply.

The next hour and a half (Natani was right) came and passed quickly, the two on the beach organizing what they'd brought over: food, mostly, but also other various necessities. The pair of them didn't talk, both leaving each other to the machinations of their own mind. As Trace and Flora cruised gently into the shore, the latter dripping with lake water (she decided to stand up in the canoe), Natani and Keith quickly pulled as much as possible out.

Canoes overturned for storage, and the party gathered around the fire, a conversation started up.

"So," Keith began, a little awkwardly, "what are you all excited for out here?"

Flora spoke up quickly, "I'm excited to get away! And Trace and I have... a little project" she burst into a fit of giggles and leaned her head onto Trace's shoulder.

Trace went next. "I'm excited for Flora--I mean, time with Flora!" she giggled some more.

All eyes shifted to Natani. "I'm sick of the city," she said flatly, "I just want a break." The rest of them were taken slightly aback by the short answer.

"I'm excited to have fun with you all!" Keith said, resetting the mood.

The sun started to slip below the horizon, and the four of them began settling into the tents. Natani and Keith in one, Trace and Flora in another. As the night set in, sighs and moans came from the latter tent.

**What you're reading now is a few days later, I fast-forwarded because I a) was lazy and b) didn't want to spoil the story. I'll finish this some other time. the reason it sucks is that I wanted to resolve this bit so I could start writing something else.**

Keith rolled over, unable to sleep through the sounds. 1:15, the time echoed through his brain.

"What time is it?" came a mumble. The lump next to him shuffled and rolled over, revealing Natani's face through a mess of hair.

"Time to go to sleep," he grumbled, dropping his head onto his small pillow. He heard Natani sit up beside him but squeezed his eyes shut.

"Keith?" came her voice, punctuating the sounds of lovemaking from next door.

"Mhm?" he replied.

A pause ensued, Natani not saying anything for a moment. Then Keith heard some shuffling, and felt a tug on his sheets. Before he realized what was happening, Natani had slipped into his bed and snuggled up next to him.

"Their sex is making me horny," she muttered. The two of them were still for a moment, feeling each other’s presence.

"Natani," he spoke into the tent wall, the fabric bouncing fragments of his voice back at him. "what's going on between us? Some days you're distant, but every so often you let things slip through. I just want to understand. Because... I love you."

"Yeah, I know. It's just... I don't want to commit to anything."

"It seems like you're scared of commitment. Like you want to commit but just don't know how."

"You're not far off. I don't know how to commit, who to love..."

"You're looking at him." Keith rolled over and touched her face. "I really do love you."

He leaned in and kissed her, his lips pressing against hers. For a moment, they were still, then Natani reciprocated, returning the pressure. As the couple quietly made out, the sounds of climax came from the other tent, and the beachside campsite fell into silence.

Well? Any good?
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Re: Doing some World-Building ideas

#2 Post by Technic[Bot] »

Quite interesting. For what I understand this would be modern times Canadá ir it's equivalent in the the comic world right. Canadian Mekkan or Mekkans Canadá? that is a concept i had not thought of.
And I presume our protagonist are just finishing college right? So around the same age.

I really like this slow-burner chapter. The little details and the more character driven storyline. Really love the Nat and Keith dynamic Natani really wants to get close and personal with Keith but is unsure about it and wary about commitment. Meanwhile Keith unequivocally loves Nat. And trace and flora are still the two lovebirds we have grown to love ourselves.

Just as a last note:
4 horny youngsters on a small isolated island on a lake? Isn't that how all slasher movies start?
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TheMasterOfOats
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Re: Doing some World-Building ideas

#3 Post by TheMasterOfOats »

Yeah so the idea is it’s based in modern day Canada, around the area where I live actually. I’m doing this so I can write accurately about the cities and general dynamic of the area, as well as landscape, population structure (or the two kinds equivalent), that sort of thing.

Also, perhaps this is a slasher film... glad you liked it though, I spent way to much time on it.
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Re: Doing some World-Building ideas

#4 Post by Bellhead »

Sorry I took so long to get to this, been on my "to read" list for a while now.

Slow-burning chapters are great for just this purpose; showing who characters are outside of their normal front they put up.

It would be interesting to see other events of this storyline's past; like how Keith found out about Nat, and the fear of being digitally exposed in an era with the internet. In true "Science Fiction" fashion, we see a situation we are well aware of, in a society different from its own. It will be interesting to see your take on it.
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Re: Doing some World-Building ideas

#5 Post by microwave »

ngl i actually enjoyed reading this :keith: :natani:

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