Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

Post all your stories, poems, and haiku's here!

Moderator: Moderators

Post Reply
Message
Author
Farfener
Newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 4:57 pm
Fav. Twokinds Character: King Adelaide

Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#1 Post by Farfener »

Howdy all! There was just something so cute about that Basitin Couple experiencing their first time, and I had to put together a short story about them.
This is just the first part of a longer story I have plotted out. Hope you enjoy.
Spoiler!
*Thump*
With a soft grunt, the aged clerk slid the stamped piece of paper across the wooden table, replacing the stamp on a velvet inkpad.
“There you are.” He mumbled, already looking down at the next license application, “All taken care of.”
Sieg blinked in surprise, his large ears twitching slightly as he looked down at the paper, his heart racing, “So… that’s it?”
“Your application is approved. This is your final authorization certificate, as well as your mating and conception of offspring license.”
Sieg felt Marien stiffen a little beside him, her tail twitching nervously and bumping up against his chair. For a few moments the two simply sat there, Marien staring down at the table and Sieg nervously clenching and unclenched his paws against the rough cotton of his pants.
With a heavy sigh the clerk looked up at the two young Basitins sitting across from him, peering at them over the rims of his half moon spectacles, “Was there something else?”
“Well…” Sieg’s throat was very dry as he turned and looked at Marien, his face burning with a mixture of excitement and nervousness, “I… suppose not.”
“Good,” again the clerk looked down at the next form in front of him, jsut one of a titanic stack upon his desk, “You have one week to complete your mating, and to confirm conception of offspring. As this is your first mate, if no child is conceived within the allotted time, you may return here and fill out a special extension and exemption form.” Leaning over his desk the clerk called out, “Next!”
For a moment, Sieg and Marien didn’t move and simply looked to one another. As their eyes met, both began to blush.
With the law allowing for only one week per year for couples to live together and enjoy one another, the normally deserted “Relations and Reproduction Authorization Bureau’ application office was packed. Sieg and Marien had joined the line just before sunrise, and now administrative aides were walking up and down the hallway, lighting torches as the sun began to slip below the horizon.
Before Sieg could ask anything more, there was a gentle, “Ahem” from behind him. Another couple was standing a few paces away, their tails twitching in impatience at the sudden slowdown of the line. The pair was several years older than Sieg and Marien, likely trying for their second or even third child. Many many more couples stood in a line that snaked out of the small office of the , and into the cavernous hallway of the Civilian Administration building.
Hurriedly getting up from their wooden chairs, both Marien and Sieg bowed in apology to the couple behind them.
“Best of luck, long live the king.” the clerk said, his tone so dull and bored, Sieg found it unlikely that the old Basitin even knew or cared about what he was saying anymore.
Her face glowing with anxious embarrassment, Marien hurriedly exited the office. As Sieg started to leave as well, he felt a hand grip his shoulder.
“Hey, hold up a second.”
Sieg turned to see the older male standing behind him, Sieg’s license in his hand.
“You forgot this.” the man said, waving the papers gently, “Wouldn’t want to go ahead without the paperwork, would you?”
“O-of course not.” Sieg stammered, taking the license from the man's hand and gently folding it into a pocket of his tunic, “Th-thank you sir.”
“First time?”
Despite the immense indecency of such a question, Sieg nodded quickly, “Y-yes.”
“Good for you.” The male leaned forward and spoke quietly in Sieg’s ear. “Forgive me, but may I offer a small piece of advice to you son?”
“Kent, leave the poor boy alone.” the man’s wife scoffed.
Judging by his stature and physique, Sieg could tell that the man was obviously a soldier, likely an officer judging by the quality of his clothes. Swallowing hard, and not wishing to be rude, Sieg nodded, “I suppose so.”
“You have the pamphlet I assume.”
Again, Sieg’s heart felt like it would leap from his chest. He had, of course, been given the government issued pamphlet regarding mating when he and Marien had first started the process of applying to become mates. Though the material within had been extremely light on details, and had been little more than suggestive text, Sieg had found the feelings it aroused in him to be distinctly uncomfortable. Still… from time to time he had dug it out from under his mattress and flipped through it, his thoughts drifting to his beloved Marien as he did.
“Yes sir.” he answered at last.
The male smiled warmly, patting Sieg on the shoulder as he whispered, “Good. Throw it out.”
Sieg’s eyes grew wide, “Throw it out?”
“You can focus on ‘efficiency’ later. Take the time to get to really know one another. It’s your first time, you only get one of those in your entire life, so enjoy it. ”
“But...”
The male smiled and stepped away, “Just my advice young one, do with it as you will.”
With a bewildered, slightly shell-shocked nod, Sieg turned and walked away.
“What was that about?” the female asked as Kent took his seat beside her, raising an eyebrow at the mischievous smile on her mate’s face.
“Nothing dearest.” He replied, taking her hand, “Just giving him the same advice your father gave me.”
“Oh Kent… you didn’t.”
“I did.”
“Oh that poor girl… that poor boy…”
“They’ll be fine.” Kent replied, his face cracking into a grin, “Who knows, they might even have some fun.”

****

By the time Sieg arrived back at his apartment, the sun had slipped below the horizon, and thick dark clouds had blown up from the sea and over the city.
As he stood at the doorway into his room, Sieg felt his knees wobble a little. His apartment was small, but a single room with a fireplace against one wall, a small desk against another, and a tiny table and chair in the center. What few personal items he possessed sat upon a few small shelves, and on a hook beside the door was his helmet. What truly made him gulp was the sight of his bed.
With a deep breath to calm his nerves, Sieg stepped inside, hung up his cloak, and set to work. Vibrating with nervous excitement he began rushing around, getting a fire lit and tidying things he had tidied many many times over the past few days. He was a hurricane, sweeping and scrubbing, making certain that everything was perfectly straight and neat.
As he finished tucking in the sheets of his bed for the fourth time, Sieg paused. Slowly, he reached under his mattress and withdrew the dark blue pamphlet. On the front, in small, unassuming letters, were written the words: “Procreation for the Continuation of the Basitin Species: An Overview.”
“Procreation is a necessary act in order to facilitate the continuation of the Basitin Species.” Sieg read to himself, flipping the pamphlet open and peering at the first page, “Unlike both humans and Keidran, the Basitin Kingdom considers these carnal realities to be an essential part of service to the nation, rather than self indulgent pleasure. With this in mind… a mating pair should strive for the greatest possible efficiency when...” Sieg gulped, “When conducting physical intercourse.”

***

Even through her heavy oilskin cloak, Marien still felt a chill as cold, heavy rain poured down from the sky. She moved as quickly as she could without running, making her way through the twisting city streets towards the male quarter.
Despite the dark and the rain, the city was still very much alive. During the one week per year when mating was legal, the city became a very different place. Males and females mingled together, walking down the streets together, some even going as far as to hold hands. Even through the sound of the rain, Marien’s sensitive ears could hear the voices and moans of other couples in the buildings around her.
While Sieg had his own apartment, Marien lived with four other females, so having him come to her place was out of the question. Though technically she and Sieg had been married for several months, they had been unable to spend more than a few hours together at a time.
When the topic of Sieg came up, her housemates had been eager to tease her.
“Bring him over.” they had teased, “We want to see what he looks like.”
“He must be handsome, the way you blush when you talk about him.”
“Is it true he’s part Keidran?”
“You haven’t seen him since your marriage? You mean you haven’t done anything yet? How conservative of you.”
As she turned onto the street where Sieg lived and caught sight of the window of his apartment, Marien paused for a moment. Her heart beat fast, her stomach did flip flops, but… there was something else as well, something deeper down.
Her whole life, Marien had had to fight against what others thought of her. Her grandmother had been a Western Basitin, and while her mother had managed to pass as normal, Marien had been cursed with telltale dark fur and soft aqua eyes. Unlike the Eastern Basitins, the Westerners were an open, sensuous people, who cared little for the puritanical values of the East. As a result, Marien had been scorned and looked down on, whispers and accusations had followed her throughout her entire life. She’d even been called a whore more than once, and though she had made short work of her accusers in the resulting duels, the suggestion that she was some sort of harlot had haunted her. So while some of her schoolmates and housemates had snuck out at night, engaging in risky and indecent escapades, Marien had never allowed herself to take part.
But as she stood on the street corner, catching the off glimpse of her beloved Sieg as he rushed around, making certain that his apartment was perfect, she felt a powerful warmth rising up within her.
She loved him, and dammit, tonight that was all that mattered. Tradition, laws, the judgements of others, they could all jump in the sea for all she cared. She was going to enjoy herself dammit, and there was nothing wrong with that.
“All right.” She whispered to herself, squaring her shoulders, “I am Marien Kolvest” she muttered to herself, “I am a Basitin, I am a soldier, and I am the wife of Sieg Kolvest, and tonight is the night. Let's do this.”
With a deep breath, she marched across the street.

***

The sound of a gentle knock on Sieg’s door made him jump, the pamphlet flying out of his hands and dropping to the floor.
“W-who is it?” Sieg called out, hurriedly rushing over to pick up the pamphlet.
“It’s me.” Marien’s gentle voice replied, “May I come in?”
As Sieg bent down and retrieved the pamphlet from the ground, he paused.
“Sieg?”
With a deep breath, Sieg picked up the pamphlet and flung it into the fire. As the pages crinkled and vanished into flames, he turned towards the door, “Come in.”
With a low creak the door opened, and Marien stepped inside, shaking droplets of rain from the long cloak she wore. As she reached up and pulled the hood back, Sieg’s breath caught in his chest.
Marien’s fur was darker than most other Basitins, the result of some western blood somewhere in her lineage. While Marien’s impure heritage led many other Basitins to turn up their noses at her, Sieg had always found it alluring.
But it wasn’t her fur, or her eyes, or her beautiful chestnut hair that made Sieg pause. Standing there, in his doorway, was the woman he loved, the woman who had chosen him, that he had fallen for, that he had married despite the vocal opposition of his father and his mother. There were no more rules standing between them, no more paperwork, no more anything… it was just them, together, in that moment.
In a flash all of the words they’d prepared, all of the gestures they’d intended to make, simply vanished. The piece of beef that Sieg had saved up for weeks to buy for their first meal together, sat completely forgotten on the counter. The special bottle of wine he had bribed his neighbor for sat on the table, utterly unnoticed. The two simply stared, their eyes locked on one another.
Their movements were stiff, almost mechanical, their eyes never once leaving on another. Before either of them knew it, they were both kneeling on Sieg’s bed, their faces mere inches apart. The Rest of the world faded away, nothing else mattered in the slightest.
Sieg’s heart thumped against his ribs as he spoke, “I… uh…”
Marien nodded quickly, “Yes… me too.”
“S-so this is it?”
“Marien nodded, her tail thumping rhythmically against the mattress as her chest rose and fell quickly, “I think so.”
“So uh…. What do we do now?”
Marien gulped, “I was hoping you’d tell me.”
“Y-you don’t know?”
“I mean…. I never really… asked.” The redness of her face was visible even through her dark fur.
“M-me neither.”
“D-don’t you have the pamphlet they gave us?”
Sieg froze, “I uh… No... I…. I burned it.”
Marien blinked in surprise, “You what?!”
“I burned it.”
“W-why would you do that?!”
“I don’t know…” Sieg moaned. With a heavy sigh he looked down at his hands, “I’m sorry… This is just so… I don’t know. I wanted it to be special...”
“Oh Sieg...” With a sigh and a warm smile, Marien reached out and gently lifted Sieg’s chin so that he met her eyes. As they met, she leaned in and kissed him.
“It is special.” Marien said, breaking off the kiss and smiling at Sieg, “Because it is with you.”
“I love you Marien.”
“I love you Sieg.”
“So… what should we do?”
“Well… I suppose… these clothes are going to… get in the way.” Marien reached down and undid the clasp holding her ankle bindings.
Sieg felt as if his heart was going to break his ribs as he nodded quickly, "Right." Hurriedly he pulled his shirt over his head.
Marien felt a rush as she looked at Sieg's bare chest. She had never told him, but she had seen him shirtless once before, while he was swimming with some of the soldiers in his unit. Now, as then, the sight of his muscles created a warm tingling feeling in her belly.
Bracing herself, she reached up and began releasing the clasps of her tunic.
“Wait, I think I should…” Imitating a move he had witnessed once before, Sieg reached out his hands and touched Marien’s ear.
With a gasp Marien pulled back, the sudden rush of sensation flooding through her body startling her. Sieg, equally surprised, instinctually tightened his grip. With a loud yelp of pain, Marien reared back, dragging Sieg with her, her tunic tearing open. In an almighty tangle of limbs and sheets, the two tumbled off Sieg’s bed and crashed to the floor.
Frantically pulling his head free of a sheet, Sieg cupped Marien’s face in his hands, “Are you okay?”
“Ow…” Marien groaned, “That hurt.”
Sieg pushed his forehead against Marien’s. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Oh I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay Sieg, it’s okay, I’m fine.”
With a relieved sigh, Sieg lowered his head, resting his forehead against Marien’s bare chest, “Thank goodness.”
They lay together on the floor, their bodies not so much intertwined as much as they were bound together by a mass of blankets and sheets. After a moment, as the sheer ridiculousness of their situation set in, they both began to laugh. Soon both were unable to breath, each holding the other and laughing.
Eventually the laughing faded, tuning to gentle, tender chuckles
As she fought to catch her breath, all of a sudden Marien’s eyes widened, “Uh… Sieg…”
“Yeah?”
“What… what is that I feel.”
Sieg froze, his face turning red again as he looked down, “I… um…well...”
Again, the two met each other's gaze. Then, as if on a signal, the two pulled each other close. The next few moments were frantic, garments torn off and flung aside. Doubt, embarrassment, unease, all were tossed aside.

***

“So?”
“Hmmm?”
“How was it?”
Marien smiled and planted a kiss on Sieg’s nose, “It was nice.”
“Yeah… it was.”
Sieg and Marien lay in front of the fire, nothing but a sheet covering them. Sieg lay on his back, while Marien lay on top of him, her chin resting on his chest. The candle on the table had long since burned down to nothing but a stump. The fire was little more than coals now, casting a warm glow across the room.
“So what should we do now?” Sieg asked, gently stroking Marien’s ears.
“Mmmmmm… Sleep.”
“You wanna… you know, again?”
Marien chuckled, tracing patterns in the fur of Sieg’s chest with her finger, “Three times wasn’t isn’t enough for you?”
“Yes… No… I don’t know.”
“We have a week love, no need to hurry.”
“I don’t want to do anything else for the rest of my life.” Sieg wrapped his arms around Marien and held her close, “I don’t want you to go… I can't imagine not seeing you for most of the year.”
“We’ll have our chances.”
For a long time the two simply lay together, each listening to the heart beat of the other.
“I can’t believe you burned the pamphlet.” Marien chuckled to herself as her eyes started to drift closed.
“I think it went alright.” Sieg muttered, his eyes also sliding closed.
“Yeah…”
“Think we’ll have a child.”
Marien smiled to herself, “I hope so…”
“Me too…”
And as the world turned, as wars were fought, plans were hatched, lives were saved and hearts were broken, in one small apartment, on an island in the sea, in the light of a dying fire, two young lovers fell asleep, dreaming of what might come next.

User avatar
Technic[Bot]
Grand Templar
Posts: 1246
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2018 9:48 pm
Location: México
Fav. Twokinds Character: Raine!
Contact:

Re: Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#2 Post by Technic[Bot] »

Oh hi Mr Farfener.
Glad to see you here.

For those who are not up to date with patreon, story was inspired by this sketch

And welcome to the forum too !
There are three things that motivate people: Money, fear and love.
Links to my ramblings:
Twokinds [of] data
PhpBB in the age of facebook
If you are new to this phpBB thing:
BBCode guide

Farfener
Newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 4:57 pm
Fav. Twokinds Character: King Adelaide

Sieg and Marien, A Basitin Love Story: Part 2 (Based off the Artwork: Basitin First time)

#3 Post by Farfener »

The second part of the story I've written around Marien and Sieg, the two young lovers from this artwork: https://www.patreon.com/posts/basitin-first-53647610

If you haven't read the first part, it is here: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=20814

I have a whole story plotted out, and I hope to write it, so long as it isn't going to interfere with any other plans. I have sent a message to Tom about this story, hopefully I'll get a response and his okay to go ahead. Until then, I hope you enjoy:

Spoiler!
*knock knock*

“Mmmmph…”

*knock knock*

“Mmmmmph, go away…”

*knock knock*

With an irritated groan, Sieg’s eyes slowly slid open. Judging by the light coming through his windows the sun was just barely poking over the horizon. As he struggled to gather his bearings and blink the sleep from his eyes, the sound of knocking again filled his room.

*knock knock*

Sieg yawned loudly as he pulled his blanket off and dropped his legs over the side of his bed. It could not have been more than four hours since he had finished his guard shift down at the city docks. His cloak and his armour lay in a heap on the floor while his helmet sat on the small table in the middle of his room, next to a small wooden bowl of cold soup he had eaten before climbing into bed.

*knock knock knock*

“Alright!” Seig called out, blowing the tassel from his sleeping cap away from his face, as he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes “I’ll be right there, give me a moment.”

Reaching under his pillow, Sieg pulled out a small piece of folded cloth. Placing the cloth over his nose he inhaled deeply. As the scent of his mate, Marien, filled his nose, his heart began to glow. On the far wall, a calendar counted down the days until the one precious week a year when males and females were allowed to mingle and mate. Though the time was only a few months away, the lines upon lines of days that stood between that date and the present felt like a weight pushing down on Sieg’s heart.

Thank goodness they had found other ways to stay close to one another. At one part of the wall that separated the female quarter of the city from the male quarter, beneath an apple tree, there was a loose brick that could be removed, with a small hollow carved into the rock below. On alternating weeks Sieg and Marien would each drop off a small piece of fabric they had carried with them for the past two weeks in the hollow, along with the odd sweet or letter. It wasn’t much, but it was as close as Sieg and Marien got to each other, aside from the odd sanctioned meeting in one of the pre-approved and heavily monitored parks, which felt more like a prison visit than a real meeting.

Replacing the cloth under his pillow, Sieg climbed to his feet and walked over to his door, making certain that his pajama bottoms covered his ankles. Cracking the door open he was extremely surprised to see a pair of middle aged Basitins standing outside carrying a large wicker basket.

“Mother? Father?” Sieg’s mouth fell open, “W-what are you doing here?”

Sieg’s mother smiled warmly at the sight of her son, “Your father was able to get us special permission to visit you. We brought some breakfast for you.”

“I… wasn’t expecting visitors.” Sieg stammered, “Just… give me a moment.”

Quickly closing the door, Sieg tore across his apartment and hurriedly pulled on his clothes, pushing his pajamas under his bed. Rushing back towards the table he tossed the dirty bowl into the small bucket he used for washing dishes, and used a broom to sweep whatever scraps of detritus that were on his floor into his fireplace. With his frantic tidying finished, and trying to keep himself from panting from the effort, Sieg did his best to smooth down his tunic and opened the door.

Sieg’s mother was shorter than most Basitins, with light taupe fur and wide yellow eyes. The tips of her ears were turning grey, and there were streaks in his platinum blonde hair. Sieg’s father, on the other hand, was tall for a basitin, and much darker coloured than his wife. His eyes were narrow and severe, his pupils a brown so dark they seemed almost black. As with every time he stood in his fathers presence, Sieg could not help but feel as if his father’s gaze was drilling through him.

“Hello my boy.” Sieg’s mother said, setting aside the basket she carried and clasping Sieg’s hands in hers. “How have you been?”

“I’ve… been busy.” Sieg replied, stepping to the side as his father pushed past his mother and stepped into the apartment. “I- uh, I’ve been assigned to the port garrison. Afternoon and evening guard duty.”

“That’s wonderful!” Sieg’s mother beamed. As she spoke, her eyes drifted up to the top of Sieg’s head. It was at that moment that Sieg realized that he was still wearing his nightcap.

Hurriedly, Sieg pulled off his nightcap and tossed it aside, “F-forgive me… I wasn’t expecting anyone.”

“It’s alright, we understand. Oh… just look at you, so tall and handsome.” With a smile she reached up and gently pulled on the small curl of fur on Sieg’s chin, “And you are even growing a beard! It looks so good on you!”

“Kara, some decorum, please.” Sieg’s father mumbled. As he looked around the apartment he shook his head, “Guard duty... No son of mine should just be standing around with a spear. You should be on the front lines, doing something of note.”

“Shame on you Conrad! Guard duty is a perfectly honourable position.” Sieg’s mother scolded. She looked back at Sieg and smiled, “I am proud of you.”

“Thank you mother.”

“Honour doesn’t pay the bills Kara.” Conrad replied, looking sideways at his wife, “And it is hard to climb the ranks when you are simply standing around.”

“You started on guard duty didn’t you?” Kara replied, “Everyone has to start somewhere. You should be proud of Sieg.”

Conrad looked sideways at his wife for a moment, before sighing and looking around the apartment, “So this is where you have been living. It’s rather small, isn’t it.”

“Maybe for a Colonel, but it suits me just fine.” Sieg replied, picking up his mother’s basket and carrying it to the table, “I don’t need much more than this. Not for now anyways.”

“Mmmm, this is, in fact, why we came to talk to you.” Conrad replied, straightening Sieg’s helmet hanging on the wall.

“We can discuss that later.” Kara replied, a note of nervousness in her voice that made Sig’s ears twitch, “For now, let’s have something to eat, shall we?”

“Yes, indeed.” Conrad looked over his shoulder at Sieg, “Help your mother, would you.”

As Sieg dug into the basket, his mother leaned close and whispered in his ear, “Forgive your father, he is under a great deal of pressure these days.”

“It’s nothing new.” Sieg muttered. His eyes widened as he picked up a small bottle from the basket, “Is that clover honey?”

“I thought you should have something nice.”

Sieg’s face turned a little red as he looked around his apartment, “I… I don’t really have enough plates…”

“I thought of that.” Sieg’s mother pulled a cloth out from the depths of the basket, revealing a trio of plates and some fine silverware.

With a smile, Sieg looked back at his mother, “You thought of everything.”

Sieg’s mother gently touched his cheek, “I’ve missed you my son.”

“Me too, mother.”

A few minutes later, Sieg was sitting on top of his overturned wash bucket, his mother beside him sitting on the now empty basket, and his father in his chair. From the basket his mother had produced a feast, strips of crispy bacon, smoked fish, and thick red slices of tomato. A plate of cheese sat in the center of the table, as well as a loaf of sweet berry bread and a small collection of apple turnovers. There was even a steaming pot of real tea, imported from the fox lands judging from its spicy aroma.

Sieg’s mouth watered and his stomach growled as he stared over the feast. He had not eaten this well in some time, not since being ejected from his father’s home following his decision to marry Marien.

“There we are.” Sieg’s mother smiled, placing a cup of tea in front of Sieg, “All ready.” She turned to her husband, “Would you like to speak?”

Conrad nodded, “Indeed.”

Conrad, Sieg and his mother all lowered their heads as Conrad spoke, “We thank the sea and the land for their bounty, our warriors for our safety, and the wisdom of the law for the path set before us. Long live Basidian, long live the King.”

“Long live the king.” Sieg and his mother both mumbled.

Before Sieg could move his mother began piling food onto his plate.

“You look so thin.” She scolded, “You men never know how to look after yourselves.”

“I…” Sieg sighed and smiled at Kara, “Thank you mother.”

“So,” Conrad said, taking a piece of bacon and putting it on his plate, “What are your plans for the future my son?”

Sieg raised his chin and straightened his back, “I plan to keep doing my job, protecting the docks and the city.”

“You don’t intend to apply for something more… ambitious or useful?”

“My position suits my needs.”

“Indeed. Who knows, perhaps someday your guard captain might even entrust you with the keys to the shed where they keep the spare paddles for the fishing boats.”

“Conrad!”

Sieg looked over at his mother, “It’s fine.” He looked back at his father, his eyes narrowing, “It’s my duty and I do it.”

“And what of your other duties?”

Sieg raised an eyebrow, “Other duties?”

“To your people.” Sieg’s father leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms, “How long have you been married to that… female, of yours?”

“Three years.” Sieg toned darkened, “As if you didn’t know.”

“Which means you’ve been through two mating cycles, and she has yet to bear you a child.”

“Good of you to keep track.”

“It’s my right as patriarch, you know that.”

“We have tried.”

“And failed.”

“What your fathers means to say,” Kara interrupted, putting her hand on top of Sieg’s, “Is that we are worried about you, and about her. If she can’t bear you children...”

“If she can’t bear you children, our family line dies with you.” Conrad finished. He stood up from his chair, gesturing around the room, “And this, this becomes your legacy.”

“You mean your legacy.” Sieg replied, his hands clenched into fists, “That’s what you are really worried about is it not?”

“Your father is-”

“No Kara, I’ll answer.” Conrad tilted his chin and glared down at Sieg, “You are correct. I will admit, in a way I am to blame. I was content to indulge you in your… exotic fascination with that Western woman, so long as Renner was in the royal guard.”

At the mention of his brother, Sieg stiffened, his ears twitching and his tail lashing back and forth out of control.

Sieg’s father turned and strode over to the fireplace. His eyes narrowed as his gaze set upon a framed picture of Marien set upon the mantle, “But ever since that damnable templar killed your brother when the humans attacked us, you are what is left of the family legacy. My legacy.”

“I know.” Sieg replied sharply, "I know what he meant to you, but he was also my brother!”

“And now it falls to you to take his place.” Conrad turned to his son, “There are still three months until the next mating cycle. I have spoken to several of the officers under my command, they have daughters that are looking for mates of their own, mates that are appropriate for their station. There is still time for you to find a more suitable wife and annul your marriage to this western female and-"

“Marien is not Western!” Sieg snapped, jumping up from his chair.

“Sieg don’t-”

“Yes yes, I know.” Conrad said, waving his hand dismissively, “Only her grandmother is western, making her ‘only one quarter western’, so you have said repeatedly. But look at her Sieg.” Conrad picked up the picture of Marien from off the mantle and tossed it onto the table with a loud clatter, “That fur, those eyes, the Western blood hasn’t faded, it’s only set in more deeply! It’s infested every part of her, just as it will any child you two have, assuming she is even capable of giving you one. And even if she did, you know how Westerners are, who knows if the child would even be yours!”

“She is my wife!” Sieg snarled, his teeth flashing as he struggled to control his rage. Ignoring his mother as she tried to hold him back, Sieg stepped towards his father, his ears pressed flat against his head and his eyes flashing with rage.

Conrad turned and met his son's gaze. “She is a mistake. And you are a fool not to see it.”

The two glared at one another, each sizing up the other and planning their attack, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Sieg’s eyes darted to his sword, leaning up against the wall beside his bed, the claws in his toes digging into the wooden floor in anticipation of a powerful leap. Conrad’s eyes were narrowed, his hand drifting very very slowly towards the dagger he always kept hidden in his tunic.

*SMACK! SMACK!*

Both Conrad and Sieg blinked in surprise and rubbed their cheeks as Kara stepped in between them, “Stop it both of you!” She snapped, tears forming at the corner of her eyes.

She looked to Sieg, “Don’t you understand how hard this is for us? This whole topic is so… distasteful, but it is important! We want you to be happy, and successful!”

“I…”

“And you!” She snapped, rounding on her husband, “This conversation is hard enough without you antagonizing your own son!”

“Kara, I merely-”

“You two will speak to each other with decency and respect or I will knock your heads together!” Kara interrupted, silencing her husband with a glare.

“I apologize mother.” Sieg said, bowing his head. He turned back to his father, “And I will listen to what you have to say… If you apologize.”

Conrad blinked in genuine surprise, “What did you say?”

“You will apologize for insulting my wife.” Sieg said, his voice steady but firm, “If someone came into your home and insulted my mother as you insulted Marien, there is no chance you would allow it.”

“I will not.”

“You will.”

“Conrad, be reasonable-”

As Kara spoke, there was another knock at the door.

“Shall I get that?” Kara asked as Sieg and Conrad continued to glare at one another, neither one moving a muscle.

“No, thank you mother.” Sieg replied, “It’s my home, I’ll get it.”

Breaking his fathers gaze, Sieg turned and walked over towards the door, his heart thumping painfully against his chest and his head pounding with adrenaline.

Opening the door a crack, Sieg could see that the person standing upon his doorstep was a young boy, no older than ten, dressed in a military messenger’s uniform.

“Sir, are you Corporal Sieg Kolvest?”

Stepping out onto the landing, Sieg closed the door behind him and nodded, “Yes, I am, what can I do for you?”

The boy reached into a leather bag hung from his shoulder and handed Sieg a scroll wrapped in a red ribbon bearing the marking of the Healing Guild.

“Message for you sir. They said it was urgent.”

The messenger bowed and immediately left. Breaking the seal, Sieg unrolled the scroll and began to read.

***

Within the apartment, Conrad was pacing back and forth in front of his wife.

“He must understand that we want the best for him!” Conrad grumbled, crossing his arms.

“I know dear, but do you need to be so hard on him?” Kara asked, wringing her hands in her lap, “He’s young and in love.”

“Irrelevant!” Conrad snapped, “Duty is more important!”

“Is duty more important than me?”

Conrad paused and looked down at his wife, “That’s different.”

“How so?”

“You are not Western.”

“Conrad Kolvest, that is a foolish answer and you know it.”

“It-” Conrad started to speak, when suddenly the door was flung open and Sieg stormed back into his apartment.

“I have to go.” Sieg said, seizing his helmet from the wall and grabbing hold of his cloak.

“What’s wrong?” Kara asked, watching as Sieg struggled to pull his shoulder plates on before tossing them aside with a snarl.

“Marien, she needs me.”

“We’re not done here.” Conrad said, stepping forwards as Sieg grabbed his sword and tightened his belt as quickly as his shaking fingers would allow.

“We are done.” Sieg snapped, the anger in his voice forcing even his father to take a step back. Pulling on his cloak, Sieg rushed towards the door.

“If you leave now, you will no longer be my son!”

Sieg froze, his hand gripping the door handle.

Conrad took a step forwards, squaring his shoulders and drawing upon all of his command training. “I will not be disrespected like this boy! If you leave now, I will no longer acknowledge you as my son!”

“Conrad!”

“Enough!” Conrad roared at his wife, “In this matter I command, not you!”

Kara shrank backwards away from Conrad, real fear in her eyes.

Conrad looked back at Sieg, his eyes narrowed, “I mean it boy, you will obey me in this. Sit down!”

Slowly Sieg turned to meet his father’s glare. A small smile crossed Conrad’s face as it seemed that Sieg was following his command. His smile faded as Sieg reached behind him and grabbed the door handle.

Undoing the latch, Sieg opened his door, staring directly into his father’s eyes as he did.

“It’s been more than three years since I needed you, ‘father’,” Sieg said, his voice soft but carrying an icy sharpness that cut through the air like the crack of a whip.

Turning to Kara, Sieg bowed his head, “Thank you for breakfast Mother.”

“It’s on your head boy!” Conrad roared as Sieg started through his door, “You are no longer a son of mine!”

“Then don’t be here when I return.” Sieg replied simply, “Or I will treat you as I would any other intruder in my home.”

Conrad’s eyes widened as the door slammed shut. He turned to his wife, but she refused to meet his gaze, instead staring down at the table, tears dripping onto her clenched hands.

“Kara I…” Conrad started to step forward, but stopped when his wife flinched at his approach.

Staring down at his hand, Conrad slowly curled his fingers into a fist.

“This will not stand.” he snarled to himself, clenching his hand so tightly that his claws drew blood from his palm.

***

“Sir, you can’t be here!”

“Like hell I can’t, get out of my way!”

“This is highly inappropriate!”

“Is she in here?”

“Yes, but-”

There was a loud thump, then a second, then a third.

“Sir please-”

There was a fourth, more powerful, thump, and the latch gave way with a loud splintering sound.

Panting heavily, Sieg burst through the door into the healing room. His gaze swept the room, quickly landing on the bed against the far wall. In it, Marien lay; her arms, neck, and forehead covered in bandages. Beside her stood a doctor washing her hands in a small bowl of water, a pair of surgical gloves, stained dark red, draped over her shoulder.

“Marien!” Seig yelled, rushing forwards, the pain of bashing through the door with his shoulder completely forgotten. Behind him, a doctor tried and failed to grab a hold of his cape.

As Sieg rushed forward, the Doctor washing her hands turned and quickly placed herself between Seig and the bed.

“You must be the patient's husband.” The doctor said, extended her hands towards Sieg, “Please, do not-”

“Get out of my way!” Sieg snarled, his sharp canines bared menacingly.

“Sir, your voice! This is a place of healing!”

“Is she alright? What happened?”

“There was a duel, a matter of honour. The patient was victorious, but not without cost.”

Sieg began to rush forward again, “I need to see her!”

“She is alive, but she needs to heal! If you move her it could open her wounds again!”

The urgency in the doctor's tone stopped Sieg in his tracks.

“She has lost a great deal of blood.” The doctor continued, “She must rest, or she will not survive.”

Looking past the doctor, Sieg could see that Marien’s eyes were shut, her breathing shallow but steady. His ears twitched and his heart ached as he noted the number of bandages covering her body.

“W-when will she awaken?” Sieg demanded after a moment.

“We have given her a sleeping draught to keep her still and to help her heal. She was in a great deal of pain, so it was rather strong. She will not awaken for some time.”

“Will…” the words stuck in siegs throat, burning like poison, “Will she live?”

“Impossible to say for sure, but if she is young and she is strong. If she is allowed to rest, most likely she will live. So please, leave this place, your presence will only bring confusion.”

“But-”

“And if you do not, I can have you arrested! You are violating half a dozen privacy laws right now! Not to mention the damage you’ve done to Healing Guild property!”

Even through the blindfold, Sieg could see that the doctor’s eyes were narrowed. It was clear from her tone that she was attempting to remain cordial, but Sieg had the distinct impression that any further pushing on his part would be ill-advised.

“I… understand. Please take care of her Doctor.” Sieg said at last, bowing low, “She is… all the family I have…”

The doctor paused for a moment, before sighing heavily, “Your concern is understandable, but we have rules for a reason. Please leave.”

With one last look at Marien, Sieg turned and walked out of the room, pushing past the doctor who had been pursuing him.

“Shall I alert the guards?” The second doctor asked, pausing to lift the bottom of his blindfold just a little to make certain that Sieg was gone.

“Perhaps… no, better not. He is young and his blood is hot, better to leave it here.”

“You’re too soft.” the second doctor muttered, brushing off his coat as Sieg’s footsteps faded down the hall.

***

Sieg struggled to contain himself as he stumbled into the reception area of the Healing Guild central hall. His breathing shaky as the world swung wildly beneath his feet.

“Are you alright?” the nurse behind the desk asked, grabbing hold of Sieg as he stumbled against the central booking desk.

“Y-yes, I…. I’m fine.” Sieg mumbled, trying hard not to vomit on the floor.

“Come come, this way.” The nurse urged, guiding Sieg towards one of the long wooden benches along the wall.

As Sieg sat, the nurse grabbed hold of his wrist. Her ears twitched and her brow furrowed beneath her blindfold, “Your heartbeat is racing and erratic. You need to sit. I’ll call a doctor and-”

“No!” Sieg snapped, far louder and angrier than he had intended. After taking a few calming breaths, he spoke again, “Apologies my lady, but no, thank you. I will be fine. I just need a moment.”

Frowning slightly, the nurse nodded, “Very well. But don’t you move, understand. I’ll get you some mint broth to calm your nerves.” As Sieg started to argue, she held up her hand. “Don’t try and argue. The way you are now, I could have you forcibly restrained. So you are going to sit there and wait till I come back with something to calm you or I will have you bound to a bed!”

“Very well.” Sieg nodded, “Thank you…”

“Blasted soldiers, making my job more difficult.” The nurse muttered to herself as she walked off, “Can’t get help, oh no, we have to look tough.”

With a heavy sigh, Sieg stared down at his hands.”What am I going to do…” he was so preoccupied with his own thoughts he didn’t notice the sounds of footsteps approaching.

“Kolvest, correct?”

Sieg’s ears twitched as he looked up, “Yes?”

Standing in front of him was a soldier dressed in a light tan tunic, a long black cloak hanging off his shoulders. His armour was gold, and under his arm he carried a golden helmet with a grated eyepiece. Sieg immediately recognized it as the uniform of a Royal Guard.

As with his armour, the Soldier himself was the picture of elegance and form. His fur was an elegant light gray, with subtle lines of brown running through it, and his eyes were a steely gray.

“Sieg Kolvest, husband of Marien Kolvest?” The soldier demanded, an air of effortless authority ringing in his voice.

“Yes, I am.”

“Good.” In a motion so fast that it seemed like a blur, the soldier lashed out and struck Sieg across the face hard.

With a startled yelp, Sieg fell off the bench and tumbled to the floor, a thin trickle of blood running from the side of his mouth and nose.

“I am Lyon Chariot.” the soldier declared, glaring down his nose as Sieg struggled to get back to his feet, “Your ‘wife’ injured my sweet Amber in a ridiculous duel, and I am here to avenge her honour. As it would seem that your female is unable to accept my challenge at this point, I will have you instead.”

“I have no interest in fighting you.” Sieg snarled.

“If you will not fight, I will go back there and put the Western whore out of his misery myself.”

All at once, something snapped in Sieg’s mind. Rage coursed through his veins like a poison as he drew himself up and glared back at Lyon, his hand gripping the hilt of his sword.

“Fine!” Sieg growled, his teeth bared, “I've had enough of this! Let’s go, you and me, right now!”

With a cocky tilt of his chin, Lyon jerked his head towards the door, “To the garden then. No sense in making a mess of the Healing Guild's front room now, is there.”

“As you wish.” Sieg replied, his gaze never once leaving Lyon’s eyes, “Let’s go.”

Each keeping a close watch on the other, the two stepped out of the reception area, hands on their weapons.

As the door closed behind Sieg and Lyon, the nurse returned, a steaming cup of mint broth clutched in her hands.

“Here.” She said with a gentle smile, “This should help calm your nerves a little.”

As she approached the bench she frowned, “Sir?” Reaching out a hand and finding no one there, she sighed heavily, “Of course… Soldiers...”
Part 3 under construction and coming along. All thoughts and comments welcome. :)

User avatar
Hayate
The Hidden User
Posts: 1447
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2016 4:06 am

Re: Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#4 Post by Hayate »

Please do not make a new topic for every chapter of your continuing story. Please instead post updates under the original post. I have merged your two posts.
~Hayate~
--Moderator/Global Moderator
--

--Forum Rules--
--Moderators --
--Administrators
--

Farfener
Newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 4:57 pm
Fav. Twokinds Character: King Adelaide

Re: Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#5 Post by Farfener »

Oops! Sorry about that! I was in such a hurry to post I forgot. Thank you for letting me know and for merging them :)

User avatar
Bellhead
Templar Inner Circle
Posts: 4012
Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:17 pm
Location: New England, US
Fav. Twokinds Character: Keith and Natani

Re: Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#6 Post by Bellhead »

Wonder why I didn't get a notification that a new thread had been posted when this came out.

Just finished reading through it, and it's a nice read. The time-skip seemed well placed, and shows the perspectives of non-story characters quite well. It's a nice view into how such a prudish society handles procreation.. or rather, how they don't handle it beyond paperwork.

Looking forward to what comes next.
Gearhead mechanic in the digital era, who will probably grow up is in the process of growing up to be a very grumpy old man.

Farfener
Newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 4:57 pm
Fav. Twokinds Character: King Adelaide

Re: Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#7 Post by Farfener »

Sieg and Marien: A Basitin Love Story Part 3 - Duel
Spoiler!
“This really is not necessary.”
“Just sit still and this will go much faster.”
Lieutenant General Kent Silver sighed heavily as the doctor worked to clean an ugly gash on his arm. “Pointless, just wrap it up and leave it be. A few more scars might do well for my reputation.”
“Thank goodness your Lieutenant had more sense and insisted on bringing you here.” The doctor replied, gently working a cotton swab around the wound. After a moment she drew it to her nose and sniffed, a frown crossing her face, “There is dirt and detritus in the wound already, if it isn’t cleaned it could get infected
Kent raised an eyebrow, “Infected? Who do you think you are talking to? I am a Basitin warrior, not a human.”
“Yes yes, you soldiers are all very strong.” The doctor grumbled to herself, dropping the bloody cotton swab into a bucket beside her feet. From the pocket of her long white coat, she withdrew a small bottle of ointment, popped off the little cork, and dabbed some on a cloth, “So, with that being said, I am sure you won’t even feel this.”
“What are you-” As the doctor slapped the cloth against his wound, Kent slammed his mouth shut, only a tiny squeal of agony escaping his lips. It took all of his control to keep himself from leaping straight, and his tail stuck straight out with such force that it sent a pillow flying across the room. The claws on the ends of his toes dug into the floor and carved little furrows in the wood.
“There.” The doctor said with a smile, patting Kent on the head, “Not so bad after all, is it?”
“No.” Kent replied, unable to prevent his voice from squeaking, “It’s... just... fine.” Had he looked down at his arm, he was certain he would see smoke rising up from it.
“Good. Now, a few stitches should do the job. Maybe next time you go hunting you’ll be more careful.”
As the doctor set about sewing up his arm, Kent turned to her,“You’re a fine doctor Sara, but you would do well to remember that I am a General. What would the Matron say if she saw you treating an officer like this?”
Despite her blindfold, Sara’s hands were a masterful whirlwind as she knitted Kent’s flesh back together, “She would probably wonder, as I do, why you Soldiers seem to be able to take wounds on the battlefield with gritted teeth and a smile, yet turn into newborns when the time comes to patch you up.”
“Well, on the battlefield one tends to have larger problems to concern themselves with than scraps and bruises.”
“Hmph, you soldiers like fighting entirely too much.”
“That’s a strange thing to say considering who you…” Kent’s voice trailed off as his ears picked up the sounds of running in the hall beyond the door to his room. His ears twitched as he heard the sounds of excited voices and yelling.
“What is it?” Sara asked, the noises catching her attention as well.
“Don’t know.” Kent hopped down from the bed and grabbed hold of his sword, “I’ll go check.”
“Oh no you won’t!” Sara said, stepping in front of Kent, “Just give me a moment to finish, then you can- General?” Sara paused and reached out a hand, waving it around but feeling nothing but empty air, “General? Kent? Hello?”

***

Beneath a tree in the Healing Guild’s front garden, Sieg and Lyon prepared for their duel. Around the two warriors, a small crowd had gathered and was swiftly growing larger. Doctors, nurses, and even patients, as well as passers by on the street, all formed a tight circle around Sieg and Lyon, all variously whispering and muttering to one another.
Sieg drew his weapon from its sheath and held it in front of him. Across from him, Lyon also drew his blade, whipping it around him with a confident flourish.
Despite his circumstances, Sieg couldn’t help but feel a flash of awe at the sight of Lyon’s blade. The sword was at least a hand's length longer than Sieg’s, with a subtly flared tip that allowed for faster and easier cutting. The silvery sheen of the metal made clear that it was crafted from valuable stainless steel, obviously the work of a master craftsman. Inlaid upon the blade were runes carved from gold and decorated with small emeralds. The elegantly carved grip was carved from rich black pine, likely shipped from the black forests of the snow leopard lands in the northern reaches of the mainland.
Shaking his head to clear away the distraction, Sieg set about checking his own weapon. His guardsman’s sword was reliable but unremarkable, crafted from common steel, with a simple handle and pommel. But despite its ordinary appearance, Sieg had taken good care of his weapon, and its blade, sharpened to a razor’s edge, flashed in the morning sun. As he drew his weapon, for the first time since leaving his house, Sieg noted the absence of his armour.
“He’s just some rich fop with a fancy sword and a title he got through nepotism.” Sieg thought to himself, testing the edge of his sword with the back of one of his claws, “I’m a real soldier, I can take him.”
As Lyon tested the weight and heft of his weapon, an older Basitin dressed in long black robes stepped out of the crowd. A pair of half moon spectacles sat upon the man's wizened old nose, and an impressive grey beard reached from his chin to his waist.
“Lord Chariot, what are you doing?” the old man demanded, “What is this?”
“A simple matter of honour Jabarian.” Lyon replied. As he spoke, a leaf from the tree above broke off and floated towards the ground. Lyon’s blade flashed like a bolt of lightning as he neatly sliced the leaf in half, leading several of the onlookers to gasp and whisper.
Sieg felt his heart sink as the two halves of the leaf fluttered to the ground.
“This is unnecessary!” Jabarian urged, shuffling closer to Lyon, “You have no need to fight this… this…” Jabarian gestured over at Sieg, “This nobody! Amber started the fight, there is no need for you to do this!”
“Perhaps not.” Lyon replied, pushing Jabarian aside as he finished testing his sword, “Then again, no one touches what is mine and gets away with it. Besides, it’s not like anyone will miss him.”
“But-”
“Know your place, caretaker, and get out of my way.”
Jabarian’s nose crinkled as he frowned, but he obediently stepped back into the crowd.
Stepping into the center of the circle, Lyon looked around at the assembled onlookers, his face cracking into a smile. “Do I have a volunteer to get this started?” He looked around before aiming the point of his sword at a pretty young female in the front, “You.”
“M-me?” The young woman blinked in surprise.
“Yes.” Lyon pulled off his cape and tossed it to the girl, “Once we are ready, drop this and we can get this over with.”
“It’s an honour my lord.” The young woman replied, blushed slightly as Lyon winked at her as she caressed the rich, soft fabric of the cloak.
As Lyon talked, Sieg reached into his tunic and withdrew the piece of fabric that Marien had given him and tied it around his arm.
“You’re not getting to her.” Sieg muttered to himself, glaring at Lyon, “No one is getting to her, not now, not ever.”
Turning back to Sieg, Lyon reached up and pulled off his helmet, tossing it aside.
“Are you certain you want to fight this out, little guardsman?” He asked, making a show of looking down the length of his blade at Sieg, “If you just stand still I can make your death so quick you won’t even feel it.”
“Shut up.” Sieg snarled back.
“As you wish.” Whirling his sword around in his hand, Lyon called out to the crowd, “I am Lyon Chariot, Son of Andar Chariot. I make this challenge-” Lyon raised his blade, aiming the point at Sieg’s chest, “-so that I may avenge my wife, my sweet Amber, who was wounded by the loathsome western harlot this cretin calls a wife.”
“Your ‘Amber’ was wounded in a duel that she instigated.” Seig shot back, his words drawing whispers and murmurs from the crowd.
“The Westerner needs to learn her place.” Lyon replied with a small smile, “And so, it seems, do you.”
Gripping his sword with both hands and planting his feet, Sieg spoke, “I am Sieg Kolvest, and I accept your challenge, if only to get you to shut your mouth.”
With a low chuckle, Lyon looked over at the woman with his cloak, “Whenever you are ready.”
The young woman nodded and raised her arm, “Let this matter be settled.”
For a few heart pounding moments everything was still. The crowd held their breath as the two warriors sized each other up.
Willing his heart to stop thumping against his ribs, Sieg took a deep breath.
The young woman released her grip and the cloak fluttered to the ground.
The moment the fabric touched the grass, Lyon lunged forwards, moving fast and low. He brought his sword up, aiming a blow at Sieg’s chest, a common opening move. Sieg blocked the strike, but was thrown off guard when Lyon pressed the attack, using the weight of his blade to force Sieg back and knock his sword upwards. As Sieg stumbled, Lyon lashed out with the tip of his sword, the blade slicing through Sieg’s tunic and raking across his left shoulder, just above his collarbone.
Sieg cried out and stepped back, clutching at his shoulder. The cut wasn’t particularly deep, but it was extremely painful. Worse than that, Sieg also knew that, had Lyon wanted, he could have easily slashed his throat and ended the duel in one shot.
“Oh, that looks like it hurt.” Lyon said, stepping back, “Are you sure you don’t wish to take me up on my offer?”
In response Sieg attacked, striking at Lyon’s shoulder and then his left leg. Lyon deflected the first attack and dodged the second, using the opening to launch an assault of his own.
Lyon advanced again and again, swinging his sword with casual, practiced dexterity. Sieg was able to block or dodge out of the way of the blows, but only just barely. The ring of steel clashing against steel rang through the courtyard, the crowd watching with bated breath as the two warriors fought.With one well placed stroke, Lyon inflicted a cut just above Sieg’s right eye and sent his helmet flying. Sieg’s helmet fell to the ground and rolled into the ring of onlookers, vanishing amid the feet of the crowd.
Shaking his head to clear the blood from his eyes, Sieg knew he was in very deep trouble. He was being toyed with, and it was no small wonder, not only was Lyon older and larger than he was, he had clearly been trained by a master.
As he was forced to take step after step backwards, the crowd behind Sieg parted. Glancing over his shoulder, Sieg found he had been driven back towards the Guild’s outer wall. Sieg knew he had to stop his retreat, or he would find himself trapped.
With a cry, Sieg met one of Lyon’s blows with all of his strength, forcing Lyon’s sword away, before taking a step forwards and aiming a sweeping two-handed blow at Lyon’s midsection, a swing strong enough to cleave armour and bone. Sieg’s blade missed by a hair’s breadth as Lyon stepped backwards, while at the same time thrusting with the point of his longer sword. Though he tried to block, the blade found its way under Sieg’s defense and the point of the sword dug deep into his thigh. With a furious cry, Sieg fought through the pain and pressed the attack, forcing Lyon to disengage and step back.
Taking a series of deep breaths, Sieg fought to retain his composure. Even through the adrenaline, Sieg could feel the lack of sleep, as well as the stress of the morning, and his desperate sprint from his house to the Healing Guild catching up to him. He could already feel his muscles beginning to complain, his eyes stung from the blood in them, and his grip on his sword trembled slightly. Worse, he could feel the cold tendrils of fear wrapping around his heart, he was losing.
Lyon, on the other hand, wasn’t even breathing hard. He had a confident smile on his lips, and his eyes shone the excitement of certain victory.
“I’ll grant you, you have fought better than expected.” Lyon said, casually resting his sword on his shoulder as he paced back and forth, “I expected a punk with a smart mouth and nothing to back it up, but you’re not doing too badly.”
Raising his sword in front of him, making certain not to make it obvious that he was still trying to catch his breath, Sieg shot back, “If you’re expecting me to return the compliment, you’ll be waiting a long time.”
“As you wish.” Lyin replied, making a show of shrugging for the onlookers, his sword held tantalizingly loose in his hand as he kept one eye on Sieg, goading him to attack, “Nothing wrong with showing a little decorum.”
Sieg’s eyes narrowed, it was obvious that Lyon was simply preening for the crowd.
Gripping his sword once more and raising it in front of him, Lyon smiled, “That western woman must be something special for you to go to these lengths to defend her. Who knows, I might even spare her. I suppose we’ll see, after I’m finished with you. ”
“Are we fighting or talking?” Sieg demanded. Even as he spoke, Sieg cursed himself. Every moment he kept Lyon talking was a chance for him to rest, but the sound of his opponent's smug voice grated on his nerves.
“I have to stay calm and end this.” Sieg tightened his grip on his sword, “I can’t be defensive, I have to attack!”
Gathering up his courage and his strength, Sieg went on the attack. He lunged forwards and aimed a flurry of blows at Lyon’s midsection, before feinting and aiming the point of his blade at Lyon’s right foot. Lyon stepped back, his footwork a blur as he dodged Sieg’s attack, exactly as Sieg had predicted.
Releasing his grip on his sword, Sieg drew back a fist and slammed it into Lyon’s jaw. This time it was Lyon who stumbled backwards, blood dripping from the side of his mouth. Sieg rushed forward and swung his sword, but Lyon’s chest plate stopped the blade. With a loud , grinding squeal, Sieg’s sword carved a deep gash into the metal.
From within the crowd, Jabarian gasped and called out, “Master Chariot!”
“I have to press!” Sieg’s mind raced, “Press the attack!” Despite the screaming of his muscles, Sieg lunged forwards again.
Lyon stepped back as Sieg charged again. Enraged, Lyon blocked Sieg’s attack and countered with one of his own.
Despite Sieg’s desperate push, swiftly the battle shifted again. Lyon’s movements were not as smooth as they had been before, but they were no less calculated and deadly. Within moments Sieg’s momentum was broken and he was again forced to defend himself as Lyon attacked relentlessly, his sword a blur. Again and again the point of his sword found its way past Sieg’s defenses, piercing his right forearm, his left ear and his right ankle. Sieg attacked and blocked desperately, but he was simply not fast enough to keep pace with Lyon. Every muscle in his body was screaming, his chest felt like it was going to burst, and his vision was filled with disconcerting white splotches.
Stepping forwards, Lyon locked his blade with Sieg’s and forced the tip of Sieg’s weapon into the dirt. Turning his body, Lyon slammed his elbow into Sieg’s jaw, while at the same time stamping hard on the broad edge of Sieg’s sword. The metal bent a little before snapping off just above the handle with a loud *TWANG!*.
As Sieg stepped back, dazed, Lyon raised a foot and kicked him directly in the chest, sending Sieg sprawling onto his back. Several members of the crowd gasped and shouted words of encouragement as Sieg tried to sit up.
Panting hard, Lyon reached up and wiped his still bleeding mouth with the back of his hand. “How dare you!” he snarled. Looking down at himself he touched the ugly gash that Sieg’s weapon had torn into his gold armour, “How dare you, you little nothing!”
As he struggled to sit up, Sieg felt his hand brush against Lyon’s discarded cloak and helmet. As Lyon stepped forwards, Sieg wrapped the cloak around his hand as fast as he could.
Raising his sword above his head, Lyon lunged, bringing the blade down with all of his strength. As Lyon swung, Sieg raised his arm and caught the blade in the hand he had wrapped in Lyon’s cloak. The blade sliced deep into the fabric, but was unable to reach Sieg’s flesh.
With the last of his strength, Sieg tightened his grip, holding Lyon’s sword as tightly as he could, and surged upwards, grabbing hold of Lyon’s helmet as he did. With a cry that was as much in pain as it was in desperation, Sieg struck Lyon across the face with his own helmet as hard as he could. Lyon took a staggering step backwards, releasing his grip on his sword.
Sieg managed to get to his feet, and before Lyon could regain his balance, swung Lyon’s sword like it was a club, sending the handle of the sword crashing into its owner’s jaw. There was a loud crack as a pair of teeth spiralled out of Lyon’s mouth.
As Lyon dropped heavily to the ground, Sieg’s knees quacked and finally gave out. Sieg dropped onto all fours, his vision spinning and his ears ringing loudly. No matter how he tried, he could not get up. His body simply did have anything left to give him and he collapsed to the ground.
With a grunt of agony and rage, Lyon pulled himself onto his knees. The blood vessels in his right eye had been damaged, turning his pupil a bright crimson, and a constant trickle of blood ran out the side of his mouth and nose.
“You little nothing.” He snarled, forcing himself to his feet and taking a staggering step towards Sieg, “I’m going… to gut you… like a fish!”
Even though all of Siegs instincts screamed at him to get up, he simply could not seem to get his muscles to cooperate. All he managed was to roll over onto his back.
Picking up his fallen sword, Lyon took another step forwards and raised the blade over Sieg’s head. Sieg could do nothing but watch as Lyon aimed the tip of his sword at his throat.
With a deep breath, Sieg closed his eyes, “I’m sorry… Marien.”
*TWANG!*
A split second before the blade touched Sieg’s throat, another blade flashed from within the crowd and deflected the tip away into the dirt.
“What the-” Lyon froze as the crowd pulled away, revealing Kent, standing tall with his sword drawn.
“I think that’s enough for now.” Kent said, stepping into the ring, keeping his sword raised and ready.
Lyon blinked in surprise, “L-lieutenant General Silver?!”
Despite his exhaustion Sieg tried to sit up, but found he was incapable of doing little more than moving his arms, which felt like wet noodles, uselessly against the grass.
Separating himself from the crowd, Jabarian hurried forward, “General! What are you doing? This is highly irregular!”
Kent silenced Jabarian with a wave of his hand, “This duel is over.”
“It is not over!” Lyon growled, “He’s mine! It’s my right!”
“It is your right, that’s true.” Kent nodded, “But tell me, when there is an investigation into this matter by the Council of Honour and Integrity, do you really want your file to read: ‘after being beaten with his own helmet and sword, Lyon Chariot killed his helpless opponent, an unarmed and unarmoured guardsman four years his junior’?”
“But Lieutenant General, that’s-”
“Exactly what it will say, I can promise you that.” Kent interrupted, his eyes hard as steel as he met Lyon’s gaze directly, “You may not be punished directly, but that record will be read by every commander you have from now until the day you die.”
Lyon paused, “I...”
“Alternatively, it could read: ‘after a valiant struggle, Lyon Chariot showed his defeated and defenseless opponent mercy by dropping the matter and allowing the doctors to treat him’. Now, you tell me, Lieutenant, which of those is more likely to aid you and your career.”
Lyon hesitated, his blade still hovering over Sieg’s throat. Finally, grudgingly, Lyon returned the blade to its sheath with a frustrated growl.
As Lyon turned to leave, Kent stepped in front of him, “Not yet, say it.”
“I…” Lyon started to grit his teeth, but the pain in his jaw stopped him. After a moment he looked down at Sieg and snarled, “I.... I hereby drop this matter. It’s done and settled.”
Sieg didn’t have the energy nor the inclination to argue.
“An excellent choice.” Kent said with a nod, “Now go and get those wounds looked after.”
“Yes sir.” Turning, Lyon walked out of the ring. Jabarian hurried forward and scooped up Lyon’s helmet and cloak, before he too vanished into the crowd, pausing only to shoot Kent and Sieg a nasty glance.
Sieg felt a powerful rush of relief wash over him as Lyon left and the General knelt down beside him. As he looked up at his saviour, Sieg felt a strange sense of familiarity, he knew the man's face but he couldn’t remember from where.
“Relax young one.” Kent said, gently patting Sieg on the shoulder, “It’s over. You’ll be alright.” As he spoke, Kent noted the small piece of fabric bound around Sieg’s forearm.
Sieg started to protest as Kent reached down and untied the cloth..
“Peace boy, peace, it’s alright.” Kent said gently, folding the fabric and placing it in Sieg’s palm, ‘There you go, that’s better.”
Climbing back to his feet and turning to the crowd, Kent gestured at Sieg, “Alright, get him inside quickly. Let’s move!”
As a trio of Doctors rushed forwards to help Sieg, Kent turned to the other onlookers, “As for the rest of you, the show is over, move along.”
Every part of Sieg’s body hurt as the doctors loaded him onto a stretcher as gently as they could. He gripped the fabric tightly, pulling strength from its touch.
By the time the doctors picked up the stretcher, the adrenaline had started fade to fade. Despite his best efforts Sieg found himself whimpering from the pain, and the sudden realization of how close he had come to being killed. Hot tears streamed unbidden from his eyes, and it took all of his control to keep from weeping like a child.
As Sieg fought to control himself, a doctor approached the stretcher, the same one that had been tending to Marien.
“Y-you…” Sieg managed.
Behind her blindfold, the doctor raised her eyebrows “That voice, are you- Oh you foolish boy.” Turning to her colleagues she spoke, “I’ll take responsibility for this one.”
“As you wish Doctor Hail.”
As she walked beside Sieg’s stretcher, the doctor reached into her coat pocket and withdrew a small vial.
Dabbing the contents on a small cloth she held it under Sieg’s nose, “Breathe this and try to relax.”
“W-what is…” As Sieg spoke, suddenly he felt as if his body was getting lighter and lighter. Within moments he felt as if he were floating free of the stretcher, in fact it felt as if he were floating free of his own body. All of the pain drifted away as he floated into the sky, drifting upon a warm wind and a cloud of soft rose petals.
As Sieg fell into a deep sleep, the doctor replaced the vial into her jacket, “Alright, take him to room twenty nine, and call Doctors Hawthron and Kendel, we have work to do.”
***
With a satisfied smile, Kent shook his head as he watched as the Doctors hurried Sieg away, "Foolish young ones.."
Suddenly, a hand tapped on his shoulder from behind and a soft voice spoke up, "Oh General."
Slowly Kent turned to find Doctor Sara standing behind him, her hands on her hips.
"H-hello doctor."
"We aren't done yet."
Kent cleared his throat quickly, "Y-you know Doctor, I really think you've done fine work, and I really do feel much improved, I'm not sure that-"
Drawing herself up, Sara reached up and raised one corner of her blindfold so she could glare at Kent, her amber colored eyes flashing, "You are coming back and I am finishing with your arm. If I have to drag you back by your ears I will."
"I-"
"Back there, now."
Shrinking down slightly, Kent sighed, "Yes dear..."
***
As Sieg was rushed down the hallway, he passed by the room where Lyon was already being seen to. Lyon sat on the edge of a bed as a doctor gently poked around his face
“Disgraceful.” Jabarian muttered to himself, crossing his arms as the doctors rushed past the doorway, “The Lieutenant General had no right to interfere like that.”
“Perhaps not.” Lyon replied, wincing as the bag of ice he held against his jaw shifted. “Still, for a nobody he fought rather well.”
“They should be digging a hole for that traitor and his western harlot, not treating them.”
Lyon’s cheek twitched, “Traitor? Are you suggesting I showed a traitor mercy, Jabarion?”
“Wha- no of course not!”
“Good.” Lyon winced again as the doctor gently poked and prodded his jaw, “Then we shall leave it at that.”
“The less speaking you do, the better.” the doctor mused, his free hand stroking his chin as he gently felt around Lyon’s face, “Your mandible superior is partially dislocated, perhaps fractured, and your supraorbital and nasal column bones are bruised. You are fortunate he hit you where he did, had he struck you lower down he might have hit your temple and you would be a corpse. As it stands, I suspect you have a concussion, and you will definitely feel some pain in the days to come.”
“I’ll survive.”
“You will at that.” The doctor turned back towards a small collection of medicines sitting on a nearby table, “But you will likely have a headache that will make you wish you hadn’t. Now, lie down please.”
As the doctor set about his work, Lyon couldn't help but smile to himself, “Not bad for a guardsman… not bad at all.”

User avatar
Bellhead
Templar Inner Circle
Posts: 4012
Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:17 pm
Location: New England, US
Fav. Twokinds Character: Keith and Natani

Re: Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#8 Post by Bellhead »

"The master does not fear another master, but instead fears a novice." Untrained, improvised moves are some of the only things that can catch a skilled sword off-guard. Well played, Sieg. Well played.

I do have to wonder what Marien's reaction to all this will be. I wouldn't put it past her to give him a good slap or two, once he's healed enough to take it. It's a real shame how biased people can be.
Gearhead mechanic in the digital era, who will probably grow up is in the process of growing up to be a very grumpy old man.

Farfener
Newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 4:57 pm
Fav. Twokinds Character: King Adelaide

Re: Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#9 Post by Farfener »

Sieg and Marien - A Basitin Love Story - Part 4
Spoiler!

A long cobbled path led from the outskirts of Basikal city to a large stone fortress sitting atop a hill. Long banners bearing the Basitin coat of arms, as well as the heraldry of General Braxsis, billowed in the early morning breeze. Rows upon rows of fruit trees surrounded the western outer wall of the fortress, while the south and east walls were surrounded by rows of pale canvas tents. Working replicas of a variety of siege weapons dotted the surrounding landscape.

Marien walked hand in hand alongside her mother. Her ears twitched as she caught the sounds of shouting, and the ring of steel coming from within the fortress.

“Come on,” her mother urged, gently tugging Marien’s arm as she paused to examine a small frog hopping in the grass. “We’re almost there.”

Marien frowned as she looked back at her mother, a tall, noble basitin warrior that towered over her. Her short brown hair stuck out underneath her helmet, like the petals of a bell flower. Her sandy brown fur was neatly brushed and her soft, almond shaped eyes were the colour of honey. Around her neck was a small pendant she always wore, a small tropical flower carved from wood with red and blue petals and a glistening ivory pearl in the center.

“I don’t wanna go there,” Marien said, pulling on her mother’s arm and trying to walk back towards the city.

Her mother held her hand gently, yet firmly, “This is just training, sweety, it will be exciting.

“I want to go home.”

“I thought you said you wanted to know how to fight.”

“I don’t want to anymore,” Marien sniffed, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

“But you’re going to make so many new friends and learn so many things.”

Marien tried to pull her hand free from her mothers grip, “I don’t want to go!”

With a warm smile, Marien’s mother knelt down in front of her. After a few moments Marien stopped struggling, sniffing loudly as tears ran down her face. Her mother reached up to gently brush strands of hair out of her eyes, “You’ll be fine.”

“They’re going to make fun of me.”

“Who?”

“All of the others. They say I look ugly." Marien looked away from her mother, her lip still trembling, “I wish I wasn’t western.”

Marien’s mother reached up and gently guided Marien’s chin so that she could meet her gaze, “Listen to me, my little sunset. You are not ugly. You are beautiful, inside and out. I understand it seems scary right now, but someday you will have a little one of your own, something so precious that you would climb mountains, swim across seas, and fight gods to protect them.”

Marien felt a flush of warmth run through her as her mother gently stroked her ears, “This is a dangerous world, little one, and it is more dangerous for you than it is for others. You are going to have to be strong, stronger than everyone else. It will be hard sometimes, but I know you can do it.”

“It’s not fair.”

“No, it isn’t fair, but what matters is how we use what we are given. You have your grandmother’s eyes, and my heart. Well, that, and you have my ears,” she joked, gently pulling on the tufts at the end of Marien’s ears.

“What about my father?”

Marien’s mother paused, “You…” After a moment she reached out and cupped her hands around Marien’s face, “You have his spirit. I would never want you to be anything other than who you are. It has made you strong, and you will only get stronger.”

Marien looked at the ground and sniffed, “I guess so…”

“It will be alright. I’ll be right there with you.” Reaching up, Marien’s mother gently removed her pendant and draped it over Marien’s neck. “I’ll always be there to protect you, my little sunset.”

“Okay.” Marien said, rubbing the tears from her eyes.

“Ready?”

Marien nodded, and her mother took her hand again. Together they again began walking towards the fortress.

As she and her mother made their way towards the fortress, Marien noticed another young Basitin and his parents making the same journey. As the boy looked around, he caught sight of Marien. With a wide smile he waved at her.
Marien looked up at her mother, who smiled encouragingly. Nervously, Marien raised her hand and waved back.

“Mother…”


Marien’s nose was filled with the musty smell of fetid water and dust. In the darkness she could hear the sounds of footsteps in the halls above and the scratching of rodents in the walls. She had taken refuge in a cleaning cupboard, it was cold, dark, clammy, and dirty; but Marien didn’t care, she was far beyond caring. Hot tears ran down her face as she wept, crying into her hands and trying her best to stay silent. Outside the door she could hear the sound of a somber trumpet song.

No matter how she clutched at her ears she couldn't block out the echoing words of the instructor who had pulled her aside to tell her there had been an accident. No matter how hard she squeezed her eyes shut she couldn’t shut out the image of her mother lying on the ground, her eyes wide and unseeing, staring up at the sky, her mouth frozen in a silent cry, a pool of dark red blood around her head, staining her fur and hair. The same blood now stained Marien’s hands and tunic.

It had taken three soldiers to pull Marien back and keep her at bay as she fought to reach her mother. She had fought with tooth and claw even as the surgeons covered the body with a sheet, but still they held her back. If only they had let her shake her awake…

As the sound of footsteps outside the door grew near, Marien dug her face into her tunic to keep her weeping as quiet as possible. As the voices drew nearer, she could make out what they were saying.

“...been telling them to fix that dammed railing on the south wall for months. It was only a matter of time before somebody fell. Then again, Theresa was always looking off into space. I’m surprised she didn’t have an accident sooner.”

“It is a tragedy…”

“Well… tragedy might be taking it a bit far. If she was paying attention she wouldn’t have fallen.”

“That’s a bit harsh don’t you think? Besides, what about her daughter?”

“Oh yes, that’s right she did have a brat. What was her name… Marida… Maddie… something like that.”

“Poor child, losing a parent in battle is one thing… but this is just so pointless.”

“Doesn’t matter, Western or not, someone will take pity on her. Worst comes to worst she’s just another army orphan.”

Marien had to sink her teeth into her arm to keep from crying out as her sadness was replaced with burning rage. She wanted to scream, to fight, to slash and claw at the eyes of the one who was speaking. Her mouth filled with the coppery taste of blood as she bit down so hard that her teeth broke her skin.

“Look on the bright side,” the voices were starting to fade as the guards walked by the door, “At least they’ll probably fix the railing now.”

“Better be careful who you let hear you talking like that.” the second voice scolded, “If Commander Dauntless heard you say that she’d have your hide on her wall.”

“Come off it Lex, I’m not trying to be cruel, I’m just, telling it like it is and you know it.”

As the voices faded away, Marien released her arm from her jaws. Her shoulders shook as an ice cold rage filled the cavernous hole in her heart.

“You are going to have to be strong, stronger than everyone else…”

Marien’s right hand slowly reached up to grip the pendant around her neck, while her left curled into a fist. She clenched her teeth so hard they creaked. The sadness and fear in her heart was torn aside by a hurricane of hatred and rage
“I’ll kill them,” she snarled, turning back towards the door. “I’ll kill them all!”

“Their faces… their voices… the words they spoke… all lies. They never cared…”

A pillar of smoke rose from the funeral pyre in the center of the Fortress’s central courtyard. Bright orange flames reached high into the sky, while swarms of sparks like drunken fireflies danced in the air. A large portion of the Fortress’s staff were gathered around, some saluting out of respect, but most simply watching the fire with a detached lack of interest.

Marien stood and simply watched, the flames reflected in her eyes. Every once in a while through the flames, Marien caught sight of what was left of her mothers body, wrapped in linen, with a Basidian flag draped over it.
The tears and rage had passed, now all Marien could feel was a dark, yawning emptiness in her soul. She would never feel her mother’s hand in hers again, never hear her voice, never see her beautiful eyes. All of that was gone forever, collapsing into ash before her eyes.

She jumped slightly at the touch of a hand upon her shoulder. Marien looked up and was surprised to see the fortress commander standing beside her.

Major Dauntless was an older female with dark taupe fur, tinged with gray so pale it was almost white. What her first name was, no one seemed to know, they simply called her Major. She bore a long scar that ran from her left ear, down her cheek, to the side of her neck. One of her eyes was hidden by a simple patch of black material, but the other was a dark green, like the depths of a thick forest, and shone with practiced authority.

“I’m sorry for your loss, young one,” Major Dauntless said, gently squeezing Marien’s shoulder. “Your mother was a good soldier, dutiful and faithful, you should be proud of her.”

Marien didn’t answer, and instead stared into the fire.

“I understand that you have chosen to stay at the fortress,” Major Dauntless continued. “Your mother would be pleased, as am I.”

“It’s not like I have anywhere else to go,” Marien said quietly, her grip on the pendant tightening.

Major Dauntless nodded sadly, “She would still be proud of your dedication. For what it is worth, I will do what I can to help you.”

“Taking pity on the ‘poor Westerner’,” Marien muttered, the words stinging her throat as she spoke them.

“No, simply caring for a soldier under my care,” Major Dauntless said quietly. “I want you to know that you aren’t alone.”

Marien looked down at the pendant. A powerful flash of anger pulsed through her as she glared down at the petals, “I will survive on my own. I don’t need anyone.”

Marien drew back her arm to throw the pendant into the flames. But before she could release it from her hand, Major Dauntless caught her arm and held it tight.

“You are angry, little one, that is to be expected.” The Major’s voice was soft yet firm, “And when we are angry, we do foolish things. Believe me, I know. If you no longer wish to have that, I will hold it for you, but I cannot let you destroy it. You will regret it, I promise you that.”

“It’s mine!”

“Your mother wanted you to have it.”

“I don’t care what she wanted! She left me alone! Why did she do that?! Why did she die!” Marien cried out. Several of the officers around looked at her and began whispering between themselves, but Marien didn’t care.

“If she loved me she wouldn’t have left me alone,” Marien wailed, falling to her knees, the pain surging back, crushing her like the weight of an ocean being dumped upon her shoulders. With deep, gasping sobs she began to cry.

Major Dauntless knelt down and pulled Marien into her arms, “Shhhh, it’s okay…. it’s okay...”

“You’re not my mother,” Marien wailed, burying her face in Major Dauntless’s shoulder. “I want my mother, I want my momma! Please, I just want my momma!”

“I know, I know,” The Major replied softly, gently stroking the back of Marien’s head. “But you have to be strong.”

“Strong…”

Marien stood at attention, her shoulders squared and her back straight. In front of her, Major Dauntless examined a lengthy report.

Dropping the report on her desk and pushing it aside, Major Dauntless looked up at Marien, “Well, do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“No sir!”

“This is the second time you’ve been in my office this week. You can’t keep starting fights like this young lady.”

“With respect sir, I didn’t start it.”

“That’s not what this report, Shin, or your supervisor filed, says.” Major Dauntless picked up and waved the papers, “They say you came up behind Shin and hit him with a mop handle. Supervisor Balta writes ‘had I not intervened, it is likely that Private Marien Gail would have done significant harm to Private Shin Golliad. It is my opinion that private Gail did not intend to stop, and in fact intended to kill Private Golliad’.”

Major Dauntless peered over the top of the report at Marien, “He said you tried to kill him. Is that true?”

“He’s leaving out the part where Shin… where Private Golliad expressed an opinion about my mother and the way she died, sir.”

Despite herself, Major Dauntless sighed, “And that’s why you attacked him?”

Marien nodded, “Yes, Major.”

The Major leaned back in her chair, pinching her nose, “What exactly did he say?”

“I won’t repeat it, sir.” Marien’s eyes narrowed, “But anyone who speaks words like that, I will make them regret it.”

Major Dauntless paused for a moment. Lowering her hand she looked back up at Marien, a cold hardness forming in her gaze. “I understand that it’s been hard for you. I have tried to be understanding of your situation, but it has been years, and my patience has its limits. I’ve tried explaining this to you, I’ve tried being reasonable with you, and I have tried punishing you, and still you act like you have a chip on your shoulder.”

“I…” Marien paused, “Truly, I meant no disrespect to you, Major. I appreciate your guidance.”

“You are an excellent fighter, your skills with a sword are well above average, and your dedication to your duty is beyond reproach. With your talents you could be an officer, but this kind of behaviour is holding you back, and I cannot tolerate it any longer.”

“They’ll never let me be an officer,” Marien scoffed. “They take one look at me and turn up their noses.”

“And I have dealt with them! In MY castle, in MY regiment, the only thing that matters is ability. Eastern, Western, goddam Human or Keidran, it doesn’t matter! It is my job to squeeze every drop of service and potential, potential that you have, out of you for the good of Basidian! You aren’t a child anymore, it is time to grow up!”

Marien felt a strong pulse of irritation and anger surge through her body. Her muscles tensed and her eyes narrowed, “Fine. The next time someone like Shin has something to say, I won’t hit them with a mop.”

“That’s good to hear-”

“I’ll challenge them to a duel instead.”

Major Dauntless’s eye twitched, “Now you listen to me, you insubordinate little sh-”

“Not insubordination, sir,” Marien interrupted, keeping her tone even. “You are right, I’m not a child anymore, and according to military code, section twenty one twelve, subsection thirty eight, I have the right to-”

“Don’t be stupid!” Major Dauntless snapped, slapping the top of her desk with great force. “Do you think your mother would want you to throw your life away because some idiot can’t keep his mouth shut?”

“I don’t intend to throw my life away. With respect, Major, you yourself said I’m an excellent fighter.”

“Enough!” Major Dauntless leapt up from her chair and slammed her hand against her desk, sending papers flying in every direction and an inkwell crashing to the floor.

“I have tried to be patient with you, I have tried to be understanding of your situation, but it would seem you are determined to- What is it!” Major Dauntless bellowed as there was a loud knock on her door.

The door cracked open and another instructor stepped into the room, dragging a young basitin with him by the back of his uniform. The youth was marked by a number of cuts and bruises on his face and hands, as well as a painful looking black eye. Marien recognized the boy immediately, Sieg Kolvest, a recruit one year her junior, a pampered richling with high ranking parents. He was an average fighter at best, in sparring practice Marien always defeated him with ease. He always seemed nervous, and every once in a while Marien would catch him watching her. But every time Marien met his gaze, he would look away.

“I apologize for the interruption Major,” the instructor said, saluting with his free hand. “But private Kolvest here was caught fighting with two other recruits in one of the female dormitories. I thought you might want to deal with this matter immediately.”

“By the love of- And just where are the other two?” Major Dauntless demanded.

“Hospital wing ma’am. Private Elliot Dendra required stitches for a rather nasty bite wound, while Private Mikael Harsh has a broken wrist.”

As the two officers spoke, Sieg raised his head a little and noticed Marien watching him. As soon as their eyes met, Sieg turned his head away and stared at his toes. With a sniff, Marien looked away, crossing her arms.

With a deep breath to calm her temper, Major Dauntless folded her hands behind her back, “Alright…” She turned to Sieg, “Do you have anything to say for yourself, private?”

“I saw Elliot and Mikeal go into the female dormitory while I was heading to practice,” Seig replied, his voice little more than a mumble. “I was trying to stop them, Major.”

“So you decided to start a fight, rather than find an instructor?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Dropping back into her chair, the Major folded her fingers in front of her face, “I am well and truly finished with this sort of behaviour. You both bring shame upon this proud institution, and my patience has officially run out. Sergeant Hill, take Privates Kolvest and Gail to the dungeon. They can stay there while I decide what to do with them.”

“Yes, Major.” The instructor reached out to grab Marien, but she turned and bared her teeth.

“I can walk on my own,” she growled, her ears pressed flat as she glared at the instructor. Before the sergeant could say another word, Marien turned and stalked out of the room.



The dungeon was cold and clammy, lit by a single brazier at the far end of a long line of cells. Marien tried to keep from shivering as she curled up on the straw mattress against the wall furthest from the door, but with the dampness in the air, the cold cut through her clothing and fur like a knife.

As she shivered, trying at least to keep her teeth from chattering, a quiet voice called out to her from the other side of the dungeon, “Hey.”

Marien looked over her shoulder to see Sieg in the cell across from her, his face pressed against the steel bars.

“What do you want?” Marien snarled.

Sieg quickly reached into his tunic. “I wanted to give this back to you.”

Marien’s eyes widened as Sieg pulled out her pendant. “How did you get that?” she demanded, scrambling to the front of the cell and gripping the bars.

“Elliot and Mikael… They heard you’d been in a fight, and they said they were going to get revenge for Shin. They went into the dormitory to try and steal it.”

“And how did they know where it was? I keep it hidden!”

“You hid it inside one of the hollow knobs at the end of your bed,” Sieg replied with a shrug. “Everyone hides contraband there. Even the yearlings know about that hiding spot.”

Marien was at a total loss for words.

“Elliot said they were going to throw it down the well,” Sieg continued. “I tried to stop them, but they didn’t want to stop, so I fought them.”

“Give it to me!”

Nodding quickly, Sieg tossed the pendant across the aisle, Marien catching it in midair. Quickly she replaced it around her neck, but as she did she noticed that the pearl nestled in the center of the flower was missing.

“Where is it?” Marien demanded, striking the bars with her fist.

“Where is what?” Sieg asked, shrinking away.

“The pearl! Where is it?”

“I… I don’t know!”

Marien glared at Sieg, but he refused to meet her eyes, staring down at the floor instead.

With a growl of disgust, Marien turned away from the bars. “I don’t believe you. Why would a coward like you try to fight anyone, especially for me?’

“I’m not a coward!” Sieg shot back, his tone startling Marien.

As their gazes met, for the first time, Marien noted the colour of Sieg’s eyes. Her breath caught in her chest. Sieg’s eyes were a soft amber, almost the exact same colour as her mothers.

“I’m not a coward,” Sieg repeated, holding Marien’s gaze, “I just don’t like how the others treat you.”

“And why would you care?”

“Because it’s wrong. Well that, and...” Taking a gulp, Sieg said, “I think you are really pretty.”

Marien froze, “Wha… what did you say?”

“You heard me,” Sieg replied as confidently as he was able. “I think you are pretty. I… like you.”

Marien stood in complete shock, her eyes wide. Even in the highly disciplined and segregated atmosphere of the fortress, the older recruits found ways to speak to one another, to form bonds and attachments. More than once she had caught sight of an illicit couple vanishing into the shadows while she was on guard duty. Sometimes on her patrols she would turn a corner to find a red faced couple trying to pretend like nothing had happened in the moments before she had arrived. Unlike her peers, who would have eagerly reported such behaviour in the hopes of some minor promotion or another, Marien had no interest in such things and would simply continue on her way. But Sieg’s words, the earnestness in them made something in her heart stir.

“I… I don’t believe you,” she said, turning away and folding her arms. “You’re just saying that so I don’t tear you apart for trying to steal my pendant.”

“That’s not true!”

“And why would a richling like you…” Marien paused for a moment, “I mean… I’m Western, that should be obvious, even to you.”

Sieg cocked his head to the side, “Why would I care about that?”

“W-why? We’re at war! Western Basitins and Eastern Basitins hate each other, and I… I’m a Western Basitin, at least that’s what everyone says.” Despite herself, Marien felt a pang of pain in her chest, followed by a sharp stinging at the corners of her eyes.

“But it’s not true, is it?”

Marien turned sharply and Seig shrugged, “And even if you are Western, you’re not at war with us, you’re not at war with anybody.”

“I’m alone.”

“But you don’t want to be.”

“And how do you know that?!” Marien snarled, pressing her ears flat and glaring at Sieg.

“No one wants to be alone.”

“Well maybe I do! You’re just a boy with a crush, you don’t know anything about me!”

“Then why are you crying?”

Marien froze and reached up to touch the side of her face, surprised to feel wetness on her cheek.

“You don’t want anything to do with me,” Marien said after a moment, turning back and sitting down on the straw mattress, her back turned to Sieg. “I’ll just drag you down too.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do. I don’t want anyone else to…” Marien curled up and buried her face into her knees, “Just leave me alone.”

“Okay… but for what it’s worth… I’ll be your friend.”

Marien looked over her shoulder, but Sieg had already turned away and laid down on his own mattress.

“Thank you.” Marien whispered.

“Sieg… the only one who saw me… the only one who ever fought for me... ”

“Come on, you have to come with us.”

Marien sighed as she lowered the book she was reading and looked up. Standing in front of her were two of her classmates, Kaiya and Hazel, their faces lit up with excitement. Both were wearing their training uniforms, though Hazel had tied hers into a knot to show off a hint of her midriff, while Kaiya had the top two buttons undone, both shamefully rebellious displays. But Hazel’s mother was in charge of the town militia, while Kaiya’s father was the master of the city docks. Even if an instructor decided to punish them for their immodesty, they were unlikely to get more than a verbal reprimand.

For Marien, the punishment for breaking the rules was likely to be much more severe and painful. Despite the heat of the summer day, Marien’s uniform was done up exactly as it was supposed to be, high collar laced up and sleeves buttoned around her wrist; she couldn’t afford even the slightest inclination of immodesty. She still bore a long thin scar on the top of her hand from the time an instructor had hit her with the blunt edge of his sword after he caught her rolling up her trousers so she could go wading in the sea.

“I…” Marien sighed heavily, “I’m just not that interested in watching boys swimming.”

Kaiya crossed her arms, “Oh come on, don’t be such a prude.”

“Who knows, maybe we’ll go swimming with them,” Hazel murred, twirling a lock of hair in her fingers. “That could be a lot of fun…”

“And illegal,” Marien muttered. “I hear you can get lashes for that kind of thing.

“Who’s going to catch us? The quarry is out in the middle of nowhere!” Kaiya knelt down in front of Marien and took hold of her wrists, “Come on, you have to come with us.”

“No!” Marien replied, resisting Kaiya’s attempts to pull her to her feet. “Just leave me alone! ”

“Wait…” Kaiya paused, “You aren’t going to tell on us are you?”

“Of course not! I just…” Marien’s ears sank to the side of her head. “It’s not that I don’t want to go… but I can't, I have other things to attend to. And why are you even asking me?”

“Everyone knows you have the best eyes and ears in this whole place, and someone has to be our lookout.”

“Kaiya, leave her alone.” Hazel spoke up as Kaiya tried unsuccessfully to pull Marien to her feet again , “If she doesn’t want to come, that’s fine.”

With a sigh of defeat Kaiya released Marien and climbed to her feet, “Alright then, your choice.”

“It is a shame though,” Hazel said, a mischievous smile on her face as she turned and walked away with an exaggerated shrug. “I’m pretty sure I saw Sieg going with them.”
Immediately Marien’s ears perked up, “What?”

“But oh well, if you’re not interested…”

Marien clambered to her feet, “Are you… sure it was him?”

Unable to hide her smile, Hazel turned around, making a show of tapping her finger against her cheek, “Hmmm… I’m pretty sure it was him… Light fur, brushed back hair, that adorable dark spot on the end of his tail…”

“I…” Marien paused for a moment, before a smile crossed her face and she tossed her book aside, “Alright, let go.”

“That day… the first time I’d had fun… in a long time.”
End of Part 4

User avatar
Bellhead
Templar Inner Circle
Posts: 4012
Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:17 pm
Location: New England, US
Fav. Twokinds Character: Keith and Natani

Re: Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#10 Post by Bellhead »

Nice to get some backstory on her. And having lost a parent myself, I know full well I'd have decked anyone foolish enough to disrespect her. It's a lot of pain to go through, and even a tiny ray of hope can change everything.. for better or worse.

But knowing how those two will end up, it shows how much she was able to heal, so good for her. It's definitely not easy, especially for someone in her position.


I did feel that the time skips were a little difficult to follow a couple of times, and found myself rereading a few lines to find it. Maybe it's just that it didn't follow the same template as the previous chapters where there was a clear mark between scene changes. Probably just me, though...

Can't wait for more.
Gearhead mechanic in the digital era, who will probably grow up is in the process of growing up to be a very grumpy old man.

Farfener
Newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 4:57 pm
Fav. Twokinds Character: King Adelaide

Re: Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#11 Post by Farfener »

More coming real soon :) I am also posting this to the TwoKinds subreddit if you like. :D

Farfener
Newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 4:57 pm
Fav. Twokinds Character: King Adelaide

Re: Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#12 Post by Farfener »

Part 5
Spoiler!
“As the first stirrings of morning began within the city of Basikal, a heavy fog settled over the port city. The torches shone eerily in the grey gloom as the fishermen started making their way towards the docks, the knocking of the wood floaters on their nets filling the air as they walked. Columns of city guards arrived to relieve the night shift, much to the relief of the guards who had been standing watch all night in the cold and damp.

As the sun peeked over the eastern horizon, it was little more than a pale sphere. But as the sun climbed higher and warm golden light bathed the land, the fog began to disperse, tendrils descending into the valleys and the streets, before disappearing entirely. Bit by bit the city returned to life after a long, dark night.

Dr. Kallen Hail’s cheek twitched as a shaft of light from the window fell across her face. Despite her blindfold, the light of the sun was enough to wake her.

With a loud yawn, the doctor stretched and tested her muscles. She had slept on one of the benches in the staff room, and as a result her shoulders hurt a little. As she climbed to her feet she felt a gentle shifting in her lower belly.

“Shhhh now,” she whispered, patting her stomach, trying to quite the movements of the little life growing inside her, “Go back to sleep.”

“Ah good, you’re awake.”

Kallen turned towards the voice, “Doctor Silver, good morning.”

“There’s no patients in here, you can take your blindfold off.

With a relieved sigh, Kallen reached up and pulled off her blindfold. The sudden brightness made her blink for a few moments, but her eyes adapted quickly. Her colleague, Doctor Sara Silver, stood in front of her with a steaming cup of ginger and blackberry leaf tea.

“Thank you Doctor Silver.” Kallen said, taking the cup and sniffing it, the sharp scent of ginger filling her nostrils and sending a pulse of energy through her whole body.

“How are you feeling?”

Kallen sighed, “The headaches and the back pain I could deal with, but this itching is driving me crazy. I mean, why? Why am I itchy? It makes no sense.”

Sara nodded knowingly as she sat down at a small table in the center of the room, “For me it was my feet. When I was pregnant with Lyle I couldn’t stay on my feet for more than ten minutes.”

With a frustrated grumble Kallen sat down across from Sara and took a sip of her tea, “What I wouldn’t give to be a Keidran sometimes. Five or six months of this I could live with, hell I’d take nine months like humans have, but twelve months just seems unnecessary. And then there’s the in-laws…”

Sara rolled her eyes, “Kent’s family was paralytic when Sophie was born. ‘Three girls! When will you have a boy! You have to have a boy!’ It was a nightmare.”

“Mmm, for me it’s names. I am so sick of getting suggestions for names. ‘Adrian, Calles, Tolle, Keonig, Edmund. Oh oh, do you know what name is in fashion this year? Camden, Chloe, Lex’.”

“Keonig sounds nice,” Sara said, smirking a little as she took a sip of her tea.

Kara sighed and put her hand on her stomach again, “But you know… I really can’t wait to meet the little one.”

Sara tilted her head with a smile, “This is your first?”

“Yes. I’m very excited, but… with Johan gone…” Kallen looked down at her tea, her hands shaking.

Sara reached across the table and took Kallen hand, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“No, no I’m sorry. Getting all weepy isn’t going to bring him back.” Kallen took another sip of her tea to calm her nerves. After a moment she looked up, eager to change the subject. “And how is Kent healing?”

“If he would sit still for six minutes he probably would heal just fine, but that would seem to be an impossible task. His lieutenant had to drag him here again yesterday after he tore out his stitches. And you want to know what he was doing? Sparring. The man has stitches in his arm, and he was swinging a sword around.” Sara waved her arms in a wild pantomime of sword fighting. After a few moments she lowered her arms and sighed, holding her head in her hands, “Makes you wonder why we bother sometimes.”

Kallen shrugged, “I’m just happy if they actually come in for help. This ‘I’m not hurt, I can take it’ is insanity.”

“Yes…” Sara sighed, “Yes it is…”

For a long moment the two women sat across from one another, sipping on their tea.

“Kallen, I’d like to ask you something,” Sara said at last, setting her cup down on the table and leaning close.

Kallen blinked in surprise at Sara’s suddenly serious tone and nodded, “Of course, what is it?”

“I was wondering, why did you decide that you were going to treat that Western girl? You were quite insistent that you be the one to take her.”

“You were worried I would take revenge for Johan?” Kallen asked, her ears flattening and her tail twitching in agitation.

Immediately Sara reached across the table and grabbed one of Kallen’s hands, “No honey, no no. It just seemed strange that you were so determined.”

Kallen sighed and looked down at the table, “I… I lost Johan because of this stupid, stupid war. The kings make their speeches, the politicians grandstand and the generals play their little war games, but it is people like my Johan who pay the price.”

Suddenly Kallen’s eyes widened and she looked up sharply, “Oh Sara, I’m sorry, I forgot! I didn’t mean that about Kent!”

“Don’t worry about it,m” Sara replied, squeezing Kallen’s hand gently. “Kent… has his doubts about the war as well. I think he’d be pleased to hear someone else say what he’s been saying for years.”

“R-really?”

Sara nodded and Kallen let out a sigh of relief, “Either way… that girl got into a fight because she looks Western. They can call it a duel all they like, but I don’t think that hitting someone on the back of the head with the butt of a sword is an honourable way to start a ‘duel of honour’.”

“So the other girl did pick the fight.”

“Without a doubt.”

“Hmmm… I hear she’s recovering at the Chariot residence. Last I heard she’s down an eye and half an ear, but she’ll live.”

Kallen gripped her teacup tightly, “It just seems wrong… that that girl, and now her husband, has to suffer for a war that is so far away, just because of how she looks.”

A warm smile crossed Sara’s face, “Oh sweety….”

“It felt like… a way to fight against the war. It… it’s silly…”

Sara smiled and shook her head, “No, it isn’t. It’s very noble.”

As Kallen and Sara smiled at one another, another doctor appeared at the doorway, “Doctor Hail, you said you wanted to be informed when the poppy nectar would be wearing off for Mrs. Kolvest. By our estimates it should be within the hour.”

“Thank you, I’ll see to it.” Kallen stood and replaced her blindfold over her eyes.

As Kallen walked past, Sara extended an arm and took her hand, “Kallen… Doctor Hail, I’m proud of you.”

Kallen smiled and squeezed Sara’s hand, “Thank you, Doctor Silver.”

========


“There’s been an accident.”

The words sent an icy bolt through Marien’s heart. “W-what kind of accident?” Marien asked, swallowing to clear the instant dryness in her throat. She stood on the wall of the fortress, spear in hand, keeping watch over the south side of the wall.

“Corporal Kolvest was swimming in the sea with several other recruits.” The instructor standing before her replied, “He dove and must have hit his head on something underwater. He is in the infirmary, and last I heard he is alive. Apparently when he woke, your name was the first thing he said, so there are a few questions-”

Before the instructor could say another word, Marien turned and tore off, ignoring the instructor's calls for her to return.

Like a madman Marien tore through the halls of the fortress, leaping nimbly around other recruits and soldiers as she sprinted towards the infirmary. Her heart pounded, her lungs burned, but she didn’t slow down. It was all a blur, a flurry of sounds of images, the halls of the fortress, the calls for her to stop, the annoyed yells of those she pushed past, the door to the infirmary, the startled nurse. And then, suddenly, as if awakening from a dream, she found herself standing at Sieg’s bedside.

Seig’s eyes were closed, dark circles around them and his fur still smelled of sea water. Even through his fur it was obvious that his skin was extremely pale, and his breathing was ragged and shallow. But as Marien stepped forwards, Sieg’s eyes slowly slid open and he turned towards her.

“Marien…” He croaked, his voice hoarse and his expression one of utter exhaustion.

“They said… they said you were hurt…” Marien gasped, trying to catch her breath.

Sieg managed a half hearted grin, “So did… you… come to…. finish me...off?”

“What?” As Marien raised her eyebrows she noticed for the first time that she was still carrying her spear.

Dropping the weapon to the floor, Marien stepped closer to Sieg’s bed. She tried to think of something to say, but everytime she thought of something her brain seemed to go blank.

“Are you alright?” She said finally, kneeling down so she could meet Sieg’s gaze, “They said you almost drowned.”

Instead of answering, Sieg managed a smile again and whispered, “Close...your... eyes.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s... important.”

Marien paused for a moment, before eventually closing her eyes.

“Hold out… your hand…”

Hesitantly, Marien held out her hand. After a moment she felt Sieg press something hard and cold against her palm.

Opening her eyes, Marien blinked in surprise. In her hand was nestled an oyster.

“This… this is what you were diving for?”

“Ororo Oysters… rare… found a bed… in Keiser’s bay...”

“You mean you did this for me?”

“I… lost the first one.” Sieg coughed a few times, “Your pendant… when I got it… from Elliot… I dropped it. Pearl fell out… couldn’t find it.” With effort Sieg managed another smile, “That’s why… I couldn’t look at you that day… in the Major’s office.”

Before Marien could speak, Major Dauntless, the infirmary nurse, a middle aged female with pale fur, a much darker furred male in a colonel’s uniform, and a pair of guards appeared in the doorway.

As soon as she appeared at the door, the middle aged female rushed forward, pushing past Marien, “Sieg!”

“M-mother…”

As she reached her son’s side, Kara knelt down on one knee and grabbed his hand, “Sieg! Oh Sieg, we were so worried!”

Clambering to her feet, Marien snapped into a salute, “Major!”

With a sigh, Dauntless squeezed her nose and shook her head slowly, “I received a report of an armed recruit tearing through the fortress like a feral Keidran. Of course it would be you, Corporal Gail.”

The Colonel raised an eyebrow, “Gail? As in Marien Gail?”

“Yes sir!”

“So, you’re the female that Sieg won’t stop talking about.”

Marien blinked in surprise, “I… uh…”

The Colonel’s eyes narrowed, “I suppose my son simply forgot to mention that you were a Westerner.”

Immediately Marien’s ears flattened against her head and her tail twitched, “With respect, Colonel-”

“Colonel Conrad Kolvest, commander of the Second Legion’s Scarlet Brigade. And I would like to know just what you think you are doing here.”

“I had to check on Sie- on Corporal Kolvest.” Marien said at last, “I was…”

As Marien spoke, the nurse raised her hand a little, “Excuse me.”

“Major Dauntless, I think we can both agree that this is highly inappropriate.” Conrad interrupted, “I would like to have this intruder removed immediately.”

Instead of answering, Major Dauntless turned to Marien. For a few moments the two met each other’s eyes, a flurry of silent words passing between them.

“Corporal Gail has always expressed a great deal of concern for her classmates.” Major Dauntless said at last, “It’s one of her finer qualities.”

“Major, Colonel, I really think...

“Nevertheless I demand that she be removed, now!”

To everyone else in the room, it would appear that Major Dauntless didn’t react at all to Conrad’s sharp tone. But to Marien, who had been on the receiving end of many of the Major’s lectures, the subtle motions of the Major’s tail, the almost invisible twitch at the corner of her mouth, the slight change in her posture, all of it told Marien that the Major was well and truly annoyed.

After a moment, Major Dauntless spoke, “Colonel, I think that, considering your son’s weakened state, it would be wise to place a guard at his side. Corporal Gail shall fill that role well.”

“Ridiculous!” Conrad growled, “I am ordering you-”

“Your orders mean nothing here.” Major Dauntless replied, her voice like a river with a dangerous current running beneath the placid surface, “I command this fortress and its occupants. If you wish to stay by your son’s side as well I will allow it, but Corporal Gail will complete her assigned task.”

“I want… her to stay.” Sieg croaked as his mother continued to fuss over him.

“HEY!”

Everyone in the room jumped a little as the nurse yelled at the top of her lungs.

With a huff, the nurse spoke again, “That’s better. Major, Colonel, with all due respect, this boy needs rest. If the Major wants Corporal Gail to stand guard, that is… well I’m not exactly pleased with it, but it is acceptable. As for the rest of you however, and with all due respect, I implore you... GET OUT!”

With an amused smile, Major Dauntless nodded respectfully, “Understood.” She gestured to the door, “If you will sir, you and your wife are more than welcome to stay in VIP quarters here in the fortress.”

“I shall be filing a report on this.” Conrad snarled, “We shall see what the administration authority has to say about your lack of decorum and insubordination. ”

“That is, of course, your right sir.” Major Dauntless replied, clearly underwhelmed by Conrad’s threat.

“Come Kara, we should let him rest.” Conrads cape billowed out behind him as he whirled around and strode out of the room. As he passed Marien he stopped, his eyes shifting to glare at her.

“I know all about your kind.” He snarled, “But know this, if you put a single hand on my son, I will have your pelt for a rug and the rest of you thrown into the sea for bait.”

“As you say, Colonel.” Marien replied, snapping into a salute and glaring back at Conrad.

With a snort of disgust, Conrad stormed past Marien. As he reached the doorway he stopped and looked over his shoulder, “My son.”

“Yes… father.”

“You are an important part of the family legacy, remember that. No son of mine will be defeated by something as inconsequential as a swimming accident, you understand?”

“Y...yes sir.”

“I’ll see you soon,” Kara said, stroking the side of Sieg’s face, “Sleep and get well, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

As the nurse and Kara left the room, Marien turned to Major Dauntless, “Ma’am… about what the Colonel said.”

“I’m not concerned. I’ve dealt with his kind before.” Major Dauntless waved a hand dismissively, “I once had a nephew of General Alabaster training here. If he and his uncle couldn’t push me around, the Colonel doesn’t stand a Templar’s chance in the Wolf Lands.”

“Understood, thank you Major.”

“Just promise me something,” Major Dauntless said as she turned to leave.

“Yes ma’am?”

Major Dauntless leaned in close and whispered, “Watching boys swimming is one thing, but don’t do anything foolish while you are on duty, understood.”

Immediately Marien’s face turned bright red, “H-how do you know about that?”

“I made it my business to keep an eye on you and keep you safe.” A small smile crossed Major Dauntless’s face, “That, and I was a young woman once too.”

Pulling back and straightening, Major Dauntless nodded at Marien, “Alright, carry on.”

“Yes ma’am!”

“What did she say?” Sieg asked as the Major left and Marien bent down to pick up her spear.

“Nothing! Nothing at all! Not a thing!” Marien said quickly, almost dropping her spear. Clearing her throat, she got back to her feet and straightened her helmet.

For a long time Marien stood and watched and Sieg breathed, every once in a while his breathing turning into ragged coughs. Every once in a while he would drop off to sleep, only to be awakened by a nightmare. Each time he would wake, gasping for air, Marien would place a cold cloth on his forehead and talk to him softly. Sometimes she would even sing a lullaby her mother taught her.

Eventually the sun set and the lights of the fortress began to wink out, one by one.

As the main fire in the center of the fortress went out, Seig turned his head towards Marien, “Thank you for staying with me.”

“Considering what you did for me, I couldn’t leave you.” Marien sniffed. She had to work to keep her eyes open, she’d been almost finished an overnight till noon guard posting when she had gotten the news of Seig’s accident.

“When I was under the water… you were all I thought of.”

Marien’s face flushed again, “I… I see.”

“Every time I look at you, it feels… like a warm wind. Every time I’m near you… my heart speaks louder than my mind. I can't take my eyes off you… but every time you look back, it feels like I’ve been hit by a catapult.”

Marien’s eyes widened in surprise, but then she began to chuckle to herself.

“What is it?” Sieg asked, struggling to sit up.

“You took that from a book.”

“W-what? No I didn’t.”

“Word for word from ‘The Warmest Tide’, that Keidran romance novel.”

“I… B-but that book is... forbidden.”

“There’s a copy of it hidden in the library, inside a hollowed out copy of “The Methods and Conventions of East Basitin Poetry.” A smile crossed Marien’s face, “Everyone knows it’s there, even the yearlings.

Sieg blinked in surprise, before starting to chuckle. Despite her best efforts Marien joined him. For several long minutes they laughed together, until finally Sieg began to cough and had to stop.

“You really should get some rest.” Marien said, stepping forwards and gripping Sieg’s hand in hers, “We can talk more tomorrow.”

Sieg nodded weakly, “Alright...

“But just so you know,” Marien pulled the blankets up under Sieg’s chin and tucked him in, “The next time you end up in the infirmary because you were trying to do something for me, I really will finish you off.”

“I understand.” Sieg said as he looked up at Marien, his eyelids flickering as he fought sleep, “You’re so pretty.... you know that… so perfect… like… a beautiful… sunset...” The moment the final words passed his lips, Sieg drifted into sleep.

After a careful look around, Marien leaned in and planted a kiss on Sieg’s forehead.

“Sleep well.” She whispered, “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

===

“Our first night together…”

===

*BONG BONG BONG*

With a low groan Marien’s eyes slid open. The light of a single candle was all that illuminated the small quarters she shared with Hazel. The sky outside was barely lit up at all, with only the slightest hint of blue at the edges of the eastern horizon.

In the bed across the room, Hazel sat up and rubbed her eyes with a loud yawn, “What’s going on? Is it breakfast time?”

Marien staggered over to the window and peered out. Out in the courtyard she could see there was a flurry of activity, soldiers running too and fro, their distant calls muffled by the glass. As she watched, a Basitin in full armour climbed to the top of one of the tower scaffolds. Sluing across his back was a large silver horn wrapped in painted red leather.

Marine’s blood ran cold, she recognized that horn. It usually sat upon a granite pedestal in the main hall, beneath a glass case that was never to be lifted except in the most dire circumstances, and only at the behest of the fortress commander.

“That’s the war horn,” She whispered.

“Huh?” Hazel stumbled over to Marien’s side, “That can’t be right. It must be a dri-”

Hazels’ words were cut short as the soldier let loose a blast on the silver horn that shattered what was left of the morning stillness. The sound was deep and powerful, penetrating air, flesh and stone, its call rolling over the hills and out over the bay.

“This isn’t a drill,” Marien breathed, “They’d never use that horn if it was a drill…”

“We gotta go,” Hazel said, suddenly very much awake as she struggled to fasten her sword to her belt. “I have to get to my team.”

“Me too.” Marien turned and hurriedly pulled on her uniform as quickly as she could. Just as both she and Hazel were clipping their capes to their shoulders, the door to their quarters flew open. Kaiya burst into the room, her eyes wide and her shoulders shaking, an expression of panic etched on her face as she panted desperately for air.

“Kaiya, what’s wrong?” Hazel demanded, “What’s going on?”

“War!”

Hazel and Marien both froze.

“Is it a Western attack?” Hazel asked after a few seconds.

“This far behind the lines? That’s impossible!” Marien stepped forwards and gripped Kaiya’s shoulders, “What do you mean war? War with who?”

“The Empire!”

Marien’s eyes widened, “What?!”

“The humans…. the Templar… they’ve attacked the capital!”

Hazel’s mouth fell open, “The Templar attacked the Capital! How? When?”

“We don’t know,” Kaiya gasped. “But Lieutenant Maize said that the King is dead and the Capital has been destroyed!”

“But… but that’s-”

“Kaiya, Hazel, you need to get to your squads!” Marien barked, her voice steady despite the icy fingers of fear that gripped her heart. “We can’t panic now, we have to go!”

“Of course.” Hazel nodded quickly. “L-let’s go!”

========

“Dr. Hail, the bandages you asked for.”

“Thank you nurse, put them on the table.” Kara nodded quickly as she worked to remove and replace a dressing on Marien’s right arm.

As the nurse set the bandages down, Marien let out a low groan, her breathing becoming low and rapid.

“Is she alright?” the nurse asked.

“She’s dreaming,” Kara replied, dropping the soiled dressing in a pail beside her. “And with the Poppy Nectar wearing off, I can’t imagine they are very pleasant dreams.”

========

The fortress was in a state of utter pandemonium as Marien made her way towards her squad’s dormitory. Officers, soldiers and messengers filled the hall, all rushing to one destination or another.

Fighting her way through the crowd, Marien was able to make out a few orders and demands for information over the general cacophony.

“Get the weapons out of secured storage, we need to get armed now!”

“Where is the militia? They have to lock down the harbor!”

“What about the Imperial fleet? Is it on it’s way? Someone contact Commodore Naider and get his ships ready to sail!”

“If the human armies are going to land anywhere, they’ll land here at Basikal! Get the siege weapons to the shore!”

“What do you mean General Alabaster is dead?! What about General Alaric? Who’s in command?”

“I need confirmation, where is the third legion!”

As Marien fought through the crowd, she caught sight of Sieg’s distinctive tail amongst the crowd.

“SIEG!”

Immediately Sieg turned around, “Marien?! Where are you?”

Pushing her way over to Sieg, Marien pulled him over to the wall to avoid being trampled.

“Are you alright?” Sieg asked, panting for breath slightly.

“Yes, I’m just heading to get my squad. You?”

“I’m being deployed to the north wall. D-do you really think we are at war with the Human Empire?”

“I don’t know,” Marien replied, shaking her head, “But it sounds bad.”

“I heard the King was killed.”

“I heard the same thing.”

“Kolvest, Trager, Jin, let’s go!” a voice called out over the din, “North Wall on the double.”

Sieg took a deep breath and leaned close, pressing his forehead against Marien’s, “I have to go.”

Marien nodded, “It’s okay, go.”

“I… I...”

“Yeah…” Marine nodded quickly, placing a hand on Sieg’s cheek, “Me too.”

“Be careful.” Sieg turned and in seconds he was swallowed by the crowd. With a shuddering breath, Marien turned and continued on her own way.

It took a few minutes for Marien to arrive at her squad’s dormitory. Throwing open the door Marien was greeted by eight young girls, seven of whom were hurriedly pulling on their tunics and armour, and one who was cowering in a corner.
Each of the girls was between the ages of eight or nine, and all bore panicked expressions.

As soon as Marien stepped into the room she was swamped with questions.

“Sergeant, what’s happening?”

“Are we really at war?”

“Is it true the human fleet is attacking the city?”

“Where’s my father! I want to see my father!”

“Alright Vermillion Javelin team, listen up!” Marien called out over the din, keeping her voice as even and calm as she could. “Get dressed and armoured up. I want you all to be ready to move out in five minutes!”

“B-but what about-”

“But nothing!” Marien snapped, her voice harder than she had intended. Taking a calming breath she spoke more evenly, “The only thing I want you to be worried about right now is getting dressed and ready, understood?”

“Y-yes ma’am!”

“You are Javelins!” Marien called out, “And what do you do?!”

“We are Javelins, we fly straight and true!” the recruits called back in rough unison.

“Good! Now hop to it! Double time soldiers!”

As the recruits returned to pulling on their armour, Marien stepped over to the girl cowering in the corner, “Private Talla, are you hurt?”

The girl shook her head quickly and sniffed, “N-no.”

“Then come on, you have to get up.”

“I can’t. I’m too scared.”

Kneeling down in front of the recruit, Marien reached out a hand and placed it gently on her head, “Hey, we’re all scared. But that’s okay.”

The girl looked up, her big blue eyes filled with frightened tears, “It… it is?”

“It is. Fear keeps us alive, but only if it keeps us moving.”

“Are… are you scared?”

“Yes, I am. But you and the others are depending on me, and they are depending on you.”

“I can’t!” the girl buried her head in her knees again, “I don’t wanna fight in a war.”

Marien spoke as encouragingly as she could, “Don’t worry about that right now. We’re going to take one little step at a time. Just get your armour on, okay, focus on just doing that. Can you do that?”

“I guess so…”

“Good girl. Now come on, we need you.”

Slowly the girl nodded and uncurled herself from the corner, eventually joining her squadmates, all of whom quickly began helping her pull on her armour.

As Marien straightened, there was a knock on the dormitory door, and a messenger stepped inside.

“Command from Major Dauntless,” the messenger announced, clearly trying to keep himself from panting. “All personnel are to assemble in the courtyard in one hour for a briefing.”

Maien nodded quickly, “One hour, understood.”

Without another word the messenger turned and took off down the hall. Closing the door behind him, Marien turned back to her squad. She couldn’t help but smile at the row of children standing in front of her, their armour and cloaks done up and their dull practice spears in hand.

“Alright Vermillion Javelins, let’s get moving.”

“Yes ma’am!”

===

By the time Marien and her squad reached the courtyard, the panic around the Fortress had quieted somewhat. A constant flurry of messengers and officers still moved about, but the desperate calls and conflicting orders had quieted.

As Marien and her team took their place, Major Dauntless and two other officers emerged from the central keep and approached a raised platform in the middle of the courtyard. Marien’s ears twitched as she recognized Colonel Conrad Kolvest as one of the officers walking beside the Major. The other officer was the commander of the Basikal naval fleet, Commodore Pierce, an unusually tall and thin basitin with a long, black ponytail that reached down to his waist sticking out from beneath his high peaked cap.

Marien couldn’t help but notice that the Major required the Commodore’s help to climb the stairs to the top of the platform. In recent months the Major seemed to be growing older much more rapidly than before. Her fur was more white than taupe now, and the lines on her face had grown deeper and more numerous. But as she approached the front of the platform, Marien could see that the Major’s eyes still shone with life.

Reaching the edge of the platform, Major Dauntless called out, “Everyone, your attention!”

Almost instantly the courtyard fell silent. Folding her hands behind her back, Major Dauntless spoke, “I am sure that you have all heard the rumour that there has been an attack on the Capital by the Human Empire and the Templar. I regret to inform all of you… that these reports are true.”

The major’s words sent a shockwave through the crowd. Immediately, Marien felt her heart sink into the bottom of her stomach.

“However,” Major Dauntless called out, silencing the ground with a single wave of her hand, “At this moment we do not know the extent of the damage, only that an attack has occurred. As a result, until we hear otherwise, we are operating under the assumption that the Human Empire has declared war against us, and we shall stand ready for an attack. As of now, all leave is suspended, and this fortress and the harbor are on full lockdown.”

Major Dauntless cleared her throat, “I know that there are many rumours flying about, and I urge all of you to be careful of what you say and judicious about what you believe. I understand it is frustrating, but when we have real, verifiable information that we can share, both myself and your officers will share it with you. In the meantime, attend to your stations, follow your orders, and we shall endure.”

Major Dauntless turned to leave, but paused for a moment and turned back, “That having been said, if the Human Empire has indeed declared war upon us, I can assure you of this, it will be the last mistake they will ever make.”

========

With a muffled *plunk* Kallen dropped the last of the soiled bandages into the pail beside her.

“There,” she muttered, wiping sweat from her brow, “Finished.”

Gently she felt along Marien’s body, searching for anything she missed. As she did, a small chime sounded from the other side of the room.

“Alright, that’s it for the poppy nectar.” Reaching up, Kallen gently tapped on Marien’s cheek, “Let’s see if we can get you back to the land of the living.”

========

“Renner’s dead.”

Marien blinked in surprise, “Wh-what?”

Sieg nodded numbly, his voice dull, “I just got word… he was killed in the attack on the Capital.”

Sieg sat on a wooden bench outside of the fortress’s main office. It had taken more than a week, but the panic from the initial news of the attack had started to calm. The fortress still buzzed with activity, nerves frayed, but the frantic energy had faded.

“H-how?” Marien asked, sitting down beside Sieg, “What happened?”

“He was with the King… and the Grand Templar killed him.”

The news opened a hole in Marien’s heart. Though she had only met him once, Marien had found Sieg’s brother a handsome and charming fellow, his serious and steadfast exterior covering up a whity and rye sense of humour. Despite his high ranking status as a royal guard, when Sieg had told Renner of Marien’s Western blood, the only thing he had said was ‘we love who we love’. The nonchalant bluntness of his statement had made Marien’s heart glow.

“Oh Sieg…” Marien reached over and pulled Seig close to her, “I’m so sorry…”

“He didn’t even stand a chance,” Sieg moaned, burying his head in Marien’s chest. “What was he thinking, attacking the Grand Templar? Why would he do that?”

“He was doing his duty,” Marien replied softly, stroking Sieg’s head.

With a deep breath, Sieg looked up at Marien, “But why... why did he have to die?”

“It’s okay.” Marien pulled Seig close, “It’ll all be okay…”

As she held Seig, Marien noticed some of the officers and soldiers shooting her and Sieg dirty looks. For a moment she wanted to leap up and scream at them, to fight, to lash out and make them pay for their judgements. But as she held Sieg, the anger started to drain away.

Closing her eyes, Marine nestled her head against Sieg’s neck and held him tight. “It’s okay,” she whispered, ‘It’s going to be okay…”

===

“I don’t care anymore… western, eastern… tradition… faith… I just want to be with him”

===

With a shuddering breath, Marien smoothed down the front of her uniform. The green and grey colours of a training uniform had been replaced by the silver and black of a real soldier's uniform. At her throat glistened a small golden pin that denoted her new rank of Warrant Officer.

As she worked to make certain her hair was in good order beneath her helmet, the door behind her cracked open, “Ma’am, they are ready for you.”

“Thank you.” Marien replied. As she turned to leave her quarters, she stopped at her desk. With a small golden key, she opened a secret compartment beneath one of the drawers. Nestled within the compartment, wrapped in velvet, was her mothers pendant, the black pearl that Seig had gotten her glistening in the center.

Slowly, almost reverently, Marien withdrew the pendant and fastened it around her neck.

“I’m ready.” she said to herself.

===

The courtyard was filled with every last soul that occupied the fortress. Every wall and balcony was also completely packed. There was even a ring of thousands of basitins, young and old, with soldiers of every rank of the army, as well as civilians, gathered around the fortress perimeter. It seemed as if the entire population of Basikal and more was in attendance. In the fading light of the evening, the entire hill was lit with thousands of torches and candles.

All eyes were on a colossal wooden pyre in the center of the courtyard. Upon the great pyre was a coffin carved from fine oak and marked with the Basidian star. Atop the coffin was laid a simple black eyepatch, as well as a Basidian flag woven from fine silk.

A long, solemn trumpet blast cut through the evening air, silencing the crowd. The fortress doors cracked open, and Marien stepped into the courtyard. The crowd parted to create a corridor for her to approach the pyre.

With a deep breath, Marien stepped forwards. As she walked she could hear whispers and mutterings from within the crowd, but she ignored them.

“Why would the Major pick her?”

“She always did have a soft spot for lost causes.”

“They say she went mad in her last days, it seems the rumours were true.”

“I suppose the threat of war was just too much for her...:”

Though the walk from the door to the pyre was less than a hundred meters, the journey felt like it took years. Each step felt heavier and heavier, but before Marien knew it, she stood before the pyre. Standing at the side of the pyre was a burning brazier and beside it was a long silver handle with an oil soaked cloth wrapped around the top.

Taking hold of the silver rod, Marien withdrew it from the ground and lowered it into the flames of the brazier. The cloth wrapping burst into flames and stayed lit as Marien held it aloft.

Turning to the assembled crowd, Marien cleared her throat and called out, “In the name of the King, and the noble nation of Basidian, we pay tribute to a woman who was a leader, a teacher, and a true patriot. Major Dauntless was a treasured comrade, and she…” Marien felt a lump in her throat as her practiced words failed her, “She…was...”

The crowd began to mutter and shift as Marien froze. No matter how hard she tried, the words she had practiced were gone.

As she fought for words, Marien heard a single familiar voice from the crowd call out, “Marien!”

All at once, the speech she had intended to make seemed so trivial and weak.

“She was special.”

Marien’s voice silenced the crowd. Although her voice was low, everyone in the courtyard could hear Marien as she took a deep breath and spoke, “My mother told me once, on my journey to this very place, that someday I would have something… someone so precious, that I would climb mountains, swim across seas, and fight gods to protect them. For Major Dauntless, that thing was each and every one of us.”

Marien's voice quaked a little as she spoke, but she powered on through, “She wasn’t just a soldier, she wasn’t just a commander, she was a mother. She never gave a thought to her own mortality, and to her very last breath she worried about those who still needed her guidance. She protected us, she guided us, she knew when to let us make mistakes, but she was there to pick us up when we fell. She loved this place, she loved us, and she loved me… even when no one else did.”

Marien voice cracked as she looked back at the pyre, “And… she was taken from us too soon. Our world is darker with her absence, and we’re going to miss her. But her duty has come to an end, and now it is time for her to rest.”
Holding her hands as steady as she could, Marien brought the torch to the pyre. Within seconds the wood burst into flames and a bright, roaring fire enveloped the pyre.

After returning the silver torch to its place, Marien stepped back into the crowd. Closing her pendant in her hand, Marien watched as the flames climbed high into the sky, the sparks dancing the same elated dance they danced each time.

The pyre burned long into the night, the great logs cracking and collapsing. As the moon rose into the sky, the crowd began to disperse, the students wandering off to bed and the civilians returning to the city. Some of the mourners stopped to place a hand on Marien’s shoulders, a number of them whispering words of encouragement.

Eventually it was just Marien, standing alone in the empty courtyard, watching as the last few licks of flame danced amongst the glowing coals.

“I never told her that I loved her.” Marien muttered as familiar footsteps approached her from behind, “She did so much for me… and I never told her.”

“I know.” Sieg said, gently taking Marien’s hand in his as he came up beside her, “But she knew. That’s why she chose you for this duty. She loved you, and that was enough.”

“No… its not.” Marien looked at Sieg, the fur on her face matted by tears, “I should have said it to her.”

“Maybe… that was her final lesson.”

Marien nodded, “Yes… it’s important to tell the people you care about them how you feel when you have time.”

Sieg blushed a little as he stared into Marien’s eyes. Slowly the two leaned close, pressing their foreheads together.

“I love you Marien Gail.” Sieg whispered, taking both of her hands in his.

“I love you Sieg Kolvest.” Marien said softly, “And... I want to marry you.”

“I...I want to marry you too.”

“Right now.”

Sieg blinked in surprise and stepped back, “R-really? We haven’t even… you know, courted.”

“Do you want to or not?” Marien asked.

“Of course I do, but-”

“Then that’s all that matters.” Marien said simply, “I want to marry you, whether it’s a good idea or not, whether we’ve courted or not.”

“I…” Sieg smiled warmly, “I’ve never wanted something more in my entire life.”

Pulling one of her hands free, Marien dug into a pocket of her uniform, “That’s good, in that case I have something for you.”

Into Sieg’s outstretched hand, Marien pressed a small ivory pearl.

Sieg looked up at Marien, “Is this the one that I-”

“It is.”

“You found it! How?”

“It wasn’t easy. Took me weeks of searching but eventually I found it between two floorboards. And now… well I know it’s not exactly traditional, but I want you to have it, as a symbol of our bonding.”

“But it’s yours.”

Marien shook her head, “If you want it, it’s yours, just as I am.”

“Marien…”

“Mrs. Kolvest.”

Marien blinked in surprise, “Wh-What?”

“Mrs Kolvest, can you hear me?”
End of Part 5

User avatar
Technic[Bot]
Grand Templar
Posts: 1246
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2018 9:48 pm
Location: México
Fav. Twokinds Character: Raine!
Contact:

Re: Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#13 Post by Technic[Bot] »

Well since seems Mr Far never will come back here to update his story himself.

Sieg and Marien: A basitin love *story

He finished a couple weeks back but so far only existed as reddit post which i was too lazy to scrape myself and create a document. He finally did the full version on Google docs so sharing it here for the local fans.
There are three things that motivate people: Money, fear and love.
Links to my ramblings:
Twokinds [of] data
PhpBB in the age of facebook
If you are new to this phpBB thing:
BBCode guide

User avatar
Bellhead
Templar Inner Circle
Posts: 4012
Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:17 pm
Location: New England, US
Fav. Twokinds Character: Keith and Natani

Re: Their First Time - Story Written for the artwork "Basitin First Time" (NSFW but Not explicit)

#14 Post by Bellhead »

*whew* That was quite the read. Honestly, starting out, I didn't think this story would go as far and as deep as it did. It was a good read, I can definitely say that I liked it.

I kinda have to wonder what ended up happening to Hazel in the end. We know she ran, knowing what she did and what would happen to her, but did she get away afterward? And what of their other roommates?

I do appreciate the way the scene played out with Marin, Bruik and Kent when Conrad showed up at the Silver Estate. Looking back at it, I don't see a better way that could have played out and still have them pull off the plan.

I also think that the fighting scenes, though detailed, may have been a little too specific, and may have detracted a bit from them. Just my personal wrong opinion, but it seemed to me that the fights seemed to drag on in a few cases. Not all of them, and there were some where it was well and truly necessary for them to be that way for the sake of character development and mood portrayal... Eh. It worked, though.

I realized halfway through, but I think you missed a little tidbit about Basidian lore: First, the compass is the same in Mekkan as it is here. With North up, east is right and west is left. Next, West Basidian is in the east, and East Basidian is in the west. Lore states that at one point, each side launched a massive invasion at the same time, unable to protect their own capital, and thus simply... switched. Now I may have been reading your directions slightly wrong, but I think some of the points you mentioned have a few inconsistencies that derive from that.

No about the war... East and West Basidian are, if memory serves, two separate but roughly equal entities. And the war has continued this long not because neither side has an advantage or weakness, but because both sides simply enjoy the fighting, as Marian did. It's also said that, if one side was threatened with invasion, both sides would ceasefire to stop it. Knowing that, I feel that the actions of a few characters, and their attitudes toward the war, were slightly off, but such was never even mentioned in the story beyond "Basitin sedition is unheard of".

I would have also liked to see a light timeskip at the end, showing the fisherman Conrad and his Defense Commander daughter-in-law, showing his change (or lack thereof) as a person, especially after seeing his grandchildren for the first time. It might have been nice to see his reaction to that.

Overall, good story, glad I read it. Nicely done.
Gearhead mechanic in the digital era, who will probably grow up is in the process of growing up to be a very grumpy old man.

Post Reply