Silverlocks 11 [COMPLETED][DEFINITELY NSFW]

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Bellhead
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Re: Silverlocks 11 [in progress][DEFINITELY NSFW]

#46 Post by Bellhead »

Yastreb wrote: Wed Oct 07, 2020 10:18 am
Technic[Bot] wrote: Tue Oct 06, 2020 11:49 pm Also I did not know wolves, and big cats for that matter, can't digest starches. The more you know!
Bellhead wrote: Wed Oct 07, 2020 2:37 am More like Keidran can't. That's canon Twokinds info, since WAY back.
I always assumed that it was just feline Keidran, while canine types are omnivorous like their our world counterparts. Sythe even eats pizza in the comic.
This is true. I can't remember if we've seen anyone else eating non-meat in comic... But I digress.
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Re: Silverlocks 11 [in progress][DEFINITELY NSFW]

#47 Post by TheMasterOfOats »

And, finally, chapter 10 - The Aftermath.
Spoiler!
The sun shone through the window, filtering through the glass and slipping through a crack in the curtains. Zen's eyelids glowed with the warm rays and he rolled over to avoid it. As he rolled, he felt his nose bump against something. His eyes cracked open, dry as bones, and he could just make out a figure. Raine was nestled next to him, her hand on his stomach and her face pressed into his chest fur. Her other hand was behind his head, her fingers tangled in his hair. He smiled with cracked lips, and his eyes flicked over to the glass of water beside the bed. It was half empty, and he chuckled inwardly. Natani had all the grace of a rock at times. Miraculous, how she wooed Keith. He brought the glass to his lips and drank slowly. His hands were shaking with the strain, and drops sloshed out and onto Raine's nose. She groaned softly and adjusted her position, burying her nose closer to his armpit.

"Sorry," he muttered as he drank, sending yet more water into her pretty fur. He was surprised she didn't mind being down there; he must have smelt awful. He dropped his nose close to hers and took a deep breath: a faint musk mingled with her scent, an aromatic blend he frankly loved. He stayed there a few minutes, inhaling their gentle mix of smells. It was relaxing to feel someone for a change.

A pounding of footsteps came down the hall. Too light and rapid to be Natani. A thump and a faint strangled cry came through the door, and a "Quiet, human!" hissed through after. Natani must have been waiting outside. Karen's voice came after, lacking the quiet tact the wolf displayed. "I just wanna see them, pleeeeeease?"

"No," Natani replied curtly. "buzz off." Zen could almost hear Karen's plotting through the door. A faint click met his ears, and he focused on Natani peeking through the door. Her eyes were widened at what she saw, and she stiffened awkwardly. She hadn't realized how much Raine was into Zen, only vice versa. Foolish, in hindsight, how she had missed it.

"I, uh, well... dinner's ready." Natani stumbled through her words, speaking quietly. Karen's green hair could be seen jumping in the hall, a stark contrast to Natani's deep brown fur.

Zen's underarm rumbled with Raine's voice. "mmimnothungryyy..." the words slurred together. Zen hadn't realized she was awake.

"Ah... me neither," Zen replied, bringing a hand to stroke Raines hair. It was awkward talking to your sister while sleeping with a girl.

"Ok! Should I get you some water...?" Natani was desperately trying to sound casual, but she was betrayed by her voice; it squeaked through two octaves above usual.

"theresatable" Raine's muffled voice came again, tickling Zen's armpit.

"Right." Natani turned and exited the room, gently closing the door behind her. The lock clicked, and the sound of a key being withdrawn followed. Zen wasn't worried; the doors could be unlocked from the inside. He had discovered that on his second day at the mansion. Red, in his infinite jealousy and wisdom, had tried to lock Zen in. He had to stumble over to the door to allow entrance to Kat, and the effort almost knocked him out.

He raised the glass again, but only a few drops dribbled into his maw. With a sigh, he set the glass back in its place and shuttered his eyes. His hand migrated to Raine's shoulder, and as he deeply inhaled her comforting scent, he drifted off into dreamless sleep.

|---------------------------------------------------------|

Dinner in the Legacy manor was always an ordeal. Everyone sat in the kitchen, it's vast walls and cavernous ceilings reflecting the happy chatter. The great dining room hardly got used, except under rare circumstances. Raine's occasional absence was not unnoted, but in no sense was her presence greatly missed. Several days had passed since the operation had taken place, and Raine frequently would skip the company of the others to bring Zen meals. Kat had volunteered multiple times to take on the "burden", but Raine "couldn't let her do that".

After dinner, the odd ensemble of residents went their separate ways. Raine, off to Zen's room to tend to him. The humans went off to wander the halls, and Sythe went to tag along and annoy them. Reni, when she was in attendance, would always fly off to do royal things. The bastians disappeared, so nothing was new there. Keith and Natani went to one of two places: the gym or the booze cabinet. After that, bed for all.

Keith and Natani always had the same ritual: enter through separate doors, run to the adjoining curtain and collide, the drunker one usually falling over. They then climb into bed and the first one asleep is the little spoon.

But since the operation, things had changed.

Crickets chirped in harmony with the sawing of logs from the sleeping couple. They were pressed together, Keiths face smooshed into Natani's breasts. Her eyelid twitched, a faint "no," slipped through her lips. Cold sweat seeped through her fur, her palms sticky inside her fists. A low growl shook Keith from his slumber, his eyes slowly opening as he felt the guttural vibrations coming from his bedmate. He sat up in bed, his face moist with Natani's sweat. Her fur began to glisten in the moonlight, her muscles tensing and untensing repeatedly. Keith reached out a gentle hand brushed her arm. Instantly, she snapped upright. Panting, her eyes scanned the room, locking on her first target: Keith. She pounced on him, her claws closing around his neck and preparing to gouge his eyes out.

"Natani, wai--ack!" he cried in a desperate attempt to free himself.

Natani stilled her hand, her chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. Coming to her senses, she dropped all hostility and reached for Keith. "Keith, are you ok?" she questioned, taking his defensively raised hands into her own. "I don't know what happened, and... gods, this is embarrassing." She released her hand from his and flopped backwards onto the bed. Her hands pressed into her forehead

"Another nightmare?" Keith’s voice was soft, and he scooted closer to her. "That's the third night in a row. But you were fine before, what's changed?"

Her hands dropped open, revealing her face. She stared deep into the ceiling as she spoke. "I wish I knew. Maybe, now that the stress is gone, I have more time to dream?"

"It'd help if you told me what you dreamt of."

"You wouldn't understand." Her response was backhanded and dismissive.

"Then make me understand!" His voice began to rise, and the change in volume took Natani aback a moment. "Nat, I'm here for you. I love you, and I want to understand." He placed his hand on her stomach and began caressing her rippling belly. The defined muscles quivered and sparkled, and Keiths hand slid freely.

"It's just..." she began, trying to build a cohesive sentence. "You need to see." Their eyes met in the dark room, and they silently agreed with what would happen next.

|---------------------------------------------------------|

Two figures scaled the side of a building, their silhouettes standing out in the moonlight. Keith and Natani perched on the roof of the Edinmire àm'ridge house, crouched over. A guard stood at the entrance, watching for possible vigilantes trying to steal their clientele. Keith looked at Natani, and he could read her eyes: pain, hate, and fear. She looked back, steeling herself for what would happen next. Still crouching, they snuck across the roof to the apparent backside of the house and peered over the edge.

Keith's stomach turned, the stench of semen and blood wafting up on warm currents of air turned him back. Natani grabbed his head and forced him to look over the side: several bodies of varying sizes lay strewn over the ground. A large box stood beside the corpses, looming lifeless over the dead.

"There are more inside," Natani murmured, her tone melancholy. Keith turned around and sighed.

"So senseless," he muttered. All at once, he understood her plight. Without Zen to take her mind off the horror, her dreams had come to haunt her. Biting his lip he continued, "what are you going to do about it?"

Natani drew a pair of knives from her robes. "To be honest, I was planning on sending them all to hell." she snorted. "A life for a life, soul for a soul."

"That's no way to fix things," he replied. He knew the feeling, wanting to avenge someone. It was the same feeling that got him exiled.

"It's the only way I know," she stated. Keith was torn. Between the wishes of his mate, moral inclination, and righteous indignation, he didn't know what to do. "If you won't help me, I'll do it myself. I hate this place." She stood and extended a hand to him. He couldn't stop her. He could only take her hand.

Walking over to the front of the house, Natani swung herself over and dropped beside the guard. As he turned, she thrust the knife through his ribcage and punctured his lung. The guard dropped like a rock, an odd coughing sound coming from him.

"what's the plan?" he asked, dropping beside her and regarding the body.

"Kill people, save the slaves," she replied. "Burn the crap out of this place."

"That's good enough for me!" he smiled, fully committed. He held the door open for her and in they walked, each with a knife in hand.

Setting to work, all hell broke loose.

|---------------------------------------------------------|

Keith and Natani weren't at breakfast the next morning. At lunch, they showed up clean and showered and wearing slightly-damp clothes. Trace walked in with a small slip of parchment in hand.

"Hey, guys!" Everyone turned their attention to his announcement. "Says here someone destroyed the àm'ridge house!"

"Crazy," Natani muttered, casting a sideways glance at Keith.
It's been a relatively long journey, but it was fun. I have an idea for another long series, but it's looking to be more frequent, short updates. None of this chapter crap. But before then I just want to write some more short stories.

Anyways, thanks to everyone who read it and gave some feedback, it sucked less because of you guys.
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Re: Silverlocks 11 [COMPLETED][DEFINITELY NSFW]

#48 Post by Technic[Bot] »

Thanks for sharing this with us! Very Nice as usual. you really improved a lot over very little time
My only issue is the tone. The first part is very cute and sweet and then we jump straight to burning down the local brothel. The Transition is a bit harsh.

Now for my customary tangential comments:
Really not sure the french/catalan sounding brothel has a sustainable business model. They seem to kill their captives faster than they can make money out of them. Also they must have an incredible supply chain considering they keep replacing them almost as fast as they are killing them.
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Re: Silverlocks 11 [COMPLETED][DEFINITELY NSFW]

#49 Post by TheMasterOfOats »

Technic[Bot] wrote: Thu Oct 22, 2020 3:46 am Thanks for sharing this with us! Very Nice as usual. you really improved a lot over very little time
My only issue is the tone. The first part is very cute and sweet and then we jump straight to burning down the local brothel. The Transition is a bit harsh.

Now for my customary tangential comments:
Really not sure the french/catalan sounding brothel has a sustainable business model. They seem to kill their captives faster than they can make money out of them. Also they must have an incredible supply chain considering they keep replacing them almost as fast as they are killing them.
Yeah I get that. I was planning on breaking this chapter into 2 to smooth the transition but I just wanted to finish it. And yeah the supply chain must be great. Suspension of reality is what it’s about I guess but that is a pretty big plot hole.
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Re: Silverlocks 11 [COMPLETED][DEFINITELY NSFW]

#50 Post by Technic[Bot] »

You could also posted them as separate chapters even if they said the exactly same thing.

But Please do not take my comments to seriously I like to obsess over meaningless details that nobody really cares. A personality quirk really.
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Re: Silverlocks 11 [COMPLETED][DEFINITELY NSFW]

#51 Post by TheMasterOfOats »

Technic[Bot] wrote: Fri Oct 23, 2020 2:50 am You could also posted them as separate chapters even if they said the exactly same thing.

But Please do not take my comments to seriously I like to obsess over meaningless details that nobody really cares. A personality quirk really.
haha no problem it all helps!
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Re: Silverlocks 11 [COMPLETED][DEFINITELY NSFW]

#52 Post by Bellhead »

Sorry it took me so long to read this. I've had life crap to deal with, and I couldn't really spend the time to read it through properly.

This was quite a nice resolution to everything that happened up to this point. And as far as the change in pace with Keith and Natani raining holy hell down on that brothel, I think it was right on, honestly. That scene was disturbing enough the first time, so there was just enough of a reference to remind us of that without bringing the whole thing back into the spotlight. Also keep in mind, Technic, that Natani is a trained assassin, and Keith is a trained military soldier, both of whom have experience killing and infiltrating. Saying "all hell broke loose" is pretty much all you need to know.

Natani went in with the mindset of justice and righteous fury, which Keith didn't have since he wasn't there, but he knew how much it meant to Natani and wasn't about to leave him to battle his demons alone. There are several stories and series where the main characters head into battle, into the mouth of hell, etc., and they usually begin with something simple like that. Something like, "You coming, or what?" "Might as well" *screen fades out with heroes facing a never-ending horde*

The end of Angel was like that.
Spoiler!
Three main characters, one injured, face literally thousands of demons, some flying, and the series ended with a line like,
"Here they come. So what's the plan, you take the thousand on the right, I take the thousand on the left?"
"Personally, I'd like to slay that dragon. See you on the other side."
I don't see this as that far off. We know what's going to happen, one way or the other, and we know the main characters in-scene will be fighting together as one, and they'll be fighting for what they believe in. In short, it ties up loose ends, with a tight character bond, fighting an enemy of (essentially) pure evil. It was a fight we all wanted, after what we saw in there, and I think "all hell broke loose" is like saying, "everything elsewhere is wrapped up and happy, and the darkness is about to be destroyed, but it's still a happy time".

That was the best end that could have had, in my opinion. It worked well, nicely done.
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Re: Silverlocks 11 [COMPLETED][DEFINITELY NSFW]

#53 Post by TheMasterOfOats »

Bellhead wrote: Mon Oct 26, 2020 1:45 am Sorry it took me so long to read this. I've had life crap to deal with, and I couldn't really spend the time to read it through properly.

This was quite a nice resolution to everything that happened up to this point. And as far as the change in pace with Keith and Natani raining holy hell down on that brothel, I think it was right on, honestly. That scene was disturbing enough the first time, so there was just enough of a reference to remind us of that without bringing the whole thing back into the spotlight. Also keep in mind, Technic, that Natani is a trained assassin, and Keith is a trained military soldier, both of whom have experience killing and infiltrating. Saying "all hell broke loose" is pretty much all you need to know.

Natani went in with the mindset of justice and righteous fury, which Keith didn't have since he wasn't there, but he knew how much it meant to Natani and wasn't about to leave him to battle his demons alone. There are several stories and series where the main characters head into battle, into the mouth of hell, etc., and they usually begin with something simple like that. Something like, "You coming, or what?" "Might as well" *screen fades out with heroes facing a never-ending horde*

We know what's going to happen, one way or the other, and we know the main characters in-scene will be fighting together as one, and they'll be fighting for what they believe in. In short, it ties up loose ends, with a tight character bond, fighting an enemy of (essentially) pure evil. It was a fight we all wanted, after what we saw in there, and I think "all hell broke loose" is like saying, "everything elsewhere is wrapped up and happy, and the darkness is about to be destroyed, but it's still a happy time".

That was the best end that could have had, in my opinion. It worked well, nicely done.
Oof sucks to hear you've got crap (that sounds weird), but thanks for taking the time to read this all and leave feedback.
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