ERIDOS Ch 2: Calm Before the Storm (LANGUAGE!)

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ERIDOS Ch 2: Calm Before the Storm (LANGUAGE!)

#1 Post by Moviedude18.0 »

Well, after a year of planning, character designing, writing, re-writing, re-tooling the story, and other writer's block-related woes, I...still don't have this story entirely planned out. I do however have enough for the prologue. So, without further adeue, I present...

ERIDOS

EDIT January 28, 2012: I decided to tweak the prologue slightly. Nothing major, just some alterations that matter in the revised first chapter in terms of dialogue.

Table of Contents:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2


Prologue:

Wasteland: the only word capable of properly describing the piles of dirt and rocks which covered the surface of the forsaken planet. The suns were setting, bathing the landscape in spectacular combinations of red, violet, and gold. A cool breeze signaled the coming of the night time chill, as well as the feeding hours of the local wildlife. It was across this treacherous terrain that a lone man marched-assault rifle in hand-in a gray T-shirt, fingerless gloves, black-red inlay patterned pants, and tanker boots.

“Surrender, or we will be forced to shoot you down!”

Suddenly, a flash of fur bolted across the landscape. The creature, just barely within the man's keen line of sight, was out in the open. The man noticed a large bush of weeds nearby and decided they would provide the perfect cover.

“Warning! Warning! Shields at 25 percent capacity. Main engine critically damaged. Hull integrity lethally compromised.”

The man squatted in the weeds, picked up his rifle, and took aim. Through his scope, he could see the fat bodied, six-legged, bug-eyed mammal as it quietly stalked a yet smaller animal.

Alarms blared as the pilot tried every maneuver he knew to shake his pursuers. Ion blasts continuously struck the hull of the ship. The display showed his shields were at 10 percent. “[censored]!” he cursed as another ship screeched past, delivering its payload. There were simply too many of them. He was out of options...

The man waited, like the animal, for the perfect chance to strike. The smaller creature stopped, giving the larger the chance it was waiting for.

“Warning! Should you engage FTL drive, engine integrity will be compromised.” The warning was ignored, and he typed the commands into the computer. After inputting the final command, the computer began a countdown .

Suddenly, the larger creature pounced, and quickly overpowered its prey. In mere seconds, the smaller was dead, and the larger now enjoyed the spoils of victory.

“Hyper jump in five...”

A last-moment adjustment was made to his aim.

“...four...”

He pressed the butt of the rifle closer to his shoulder and put his finger on the trigger.

“...three...”

The trigger was half-pulled; his steel gray eyes fixated on their target.

“...two...”

Suddenly, as if by instinct, the animal looked up. Not that it meant anything; its fate was sealed.

“...one...”

Like a bolt of lightning, the ship took off at warp speed. The moment the attackers were a few light-years away, a violent quake shook the entire craft. The engines failed, the ship exited warp speed, and the pilot found himself snared by the gravity of a nearby planet.


The man sauntered towards his decapitated target, his black hair swaying in the breeze. The wound was cauterized and smoking, and the animal's head rolled but a few inches from the body. “Better you than me,” the man said as he bent down and grabbed the corpse by its tail. “I didn't manage to land a half-destroyed ship on this chunk of rock just to starve.”

He put the animal in a satchel before flinging it over his shoulder. He paused to look at the setting suns. It truly was a beautiful sunset-perhaps the only beautiful thing he would encounter on this forsaken world. Wishing to avoid any encounters with any wildlife, he began the trek back to his campsite, thinking of how rotten his situation was. His pursuers would undoubtedly use the trajectory of his ship to follow him. He could use his deep space radio to listen in for passing ships, but he could only get so much out of his ship's batteries. The best he could do was stay cool, keep himself hydrated, scavenge for food, and hope that if they found him he could figure out a way to escape.

He would survive. If nothing else, he was certain of that. There was simply too much work to be done for him to die on this miserable little piece of rock...
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
Well, what do you guys think? Like it? Hate it? Not enough? Errors? Critique is more than welcome, as I want this to be as good as I can possibly make it. :)
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Re: ERIDOS (Minor language warning)

#2 Post by Donnellson86 »

I am very intrigued by this story. I hope to see it continue and can't wait to read more. I'm afraid that a proper critique is beyond me at the moment as I am severely tired.
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Re: ERIDOS (Minor language warning)

#3 Post by AlfaWskyDlta »

me likey :mrgreen: ... more?
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Re: ERIDOS (Minor language warning)

#4 Post by KyeRaor »

The prologue certainly seems interesting Moviedude, Lemme see some more!
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Re: ERIDOS (Minor language warning)

#5 Post by Moviedude18.0 »

Well, I'm glad you three like the story. ^_^ Since you asked so kindly for more (and it's been around a month since I last updated this thing... -_-) I present for your reading enjoyment:

ERIDOS
CHAPTER 1: The Hunt
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Take a moment to imagine outer space. Now imagine the emptiness of a single point just on the outer rims of a system of planets. Imagine the sight of twin stars, miraculously sharing the center of a solar system, the forces of gravity overcome by the greater forces of alike electrical charges. The sight would be both amazing and beautiful; arguably the most impressive thing mortal eyes could ever gaze upon.

However...imagine that a sudden, brilliant light pierced the void, and from it materialized a large, impressively built ship. Imagine as literally thousands of probes suddenly launch from the vessel, screeching off towards the system of planets. Imagine the light of the suns, gleaming off the metal and seemingly coating the ship in a soft glow. This ship would never impress like the stars or planets...but to all who recognized the name Aronetta engraved on the starboard side, this vessel terrified more than the power of a thousand suns. With firepower rivaling that of a squadron of lesser ships and a haunting reputation, sentient beings across the solar system were right to fear its name.

Currently, its most terrifying aspect stood facing a glass wall in his personal office.

“Commander Argus.” The call brought the large, intimidatingly built alien out of his stupor and forced him away from the large glass wall. Golden eyes contrasted by sapphire pupils stared back calmly from behind a pair of glasses, complimented by bluish-gray skin and a mess of dark brown hair. Long, pointed, yellow-tipped ears peeked from underneath the hair, and a small snout protruded from his face. The speaker's black long coat and its insignia signified him as the ship's Chief Scientist.

Argus smirked as the speaker sauntered calmly into the room. “Well, if it isn't the great Rio Tepner,” The commander greeted with mock warmth. The larger alien wore armor befitting his rank, which consisted of a chest piece, rounded shoulder guards, gauntlets, a coat tail, and large tanker boots. Being of the same species as Rio, he shared the former's ears and snout. However, his amber eyes, dark gray skin, jet-black hair and matching goatee added an overwhelming sense of menace to his appearance. “I have to admit, it is a rare pleasure to see you out of your laboratory.”

The scientist scoffed. “Please spare me the formalities; they are not necessary,” Rio said curtly. “As I understand it, we have more pressing matters to attend to.”

“Indeed we do,” Argus replied. “By all means, sit down and we'll get right to it.” The two aliens sat down, Argus reclining into a lavish chair behind his desk, and Rio settling for the opposite guest chair. “I take it you are aware of the complications with our latest contract?”

Rio smirked. “From what I've heard, 'complication' is putting it mildly,” he chuckled. “The assignment seemed simple enough, didn’t it? 'Track down and detain one human.' No problem. Yet somehow, this lone human-a mere savage-has somehow outsmarted, outmaneuvered, and outgunned us. And just to add insult to injury, he pulls out the coup de’ grace-despite being cornered by fifteen of our best pilots, his ship shot to pieces, he still manages to escape. I can only imagine how embarrassing this must be for you, commander.”

Argus glared. “Yes...it is,” the commander growled. “And I don’t need you to tell me so. I've been on the receiving end of a [censored] storm from the Council over this little matter. ”

“I'm sure you have,” Rio continued with a satisfied smirk. “Of course, you can't be blamed. Humans aren't like most other savages. Every now and then, a human comes along capable of outsmarting a Turgun or two. Especially the less intelligent of our race.”

Argus growled slightly. “Keep in mind that you were not exempt from the criticisms of the Council, Rio. I believe it had something to do with the, quote 'tedious progress' of your research.”

“If they had somebody they believed could get them faster results, I would not be here Argus,” Rio replied coolly. “Besides, there's no guarantee I would be replaced. After all, it's not always the most capable of us that are elevated to our positions.”

What Argus did next caught Rio completely off guard. Argus didn't glare or growl or show any other signs of anger. Instead, he smiled. “You know, you amaze me Rio. Your words...they're almost like a little fly buzzing in your ear that happens to be too swift to swat. But eventually the fly is swatted, just as your ego is about to be.”

Rio's smug demeanor gave way to confusion. “Excuse me?”

The commander stood up and began to circle Rio, earning a cautiously curious stare from the scientist. He couldn't help but notice the action seemed predatory...as was likely the intent. “You see, I went and re-read your files. As I understand it, you have a hobby of studying human culture and psychology, do you not?”

“Yes...you are correct...” Rio answered cautiously.

“Well, I had a thought. Perhaps the reason this human keeps slipping away is because the men don't know how to think like a human. Yet you do. You understand them like the back of your hand. Given your exceptional intelligence coupled with your knowledge of the savages, I've come to a decision.”

Rio's eyes widened in incredulous shock. “Sir, you don't mean you plan to-”

“-assign you to a retrieval team?” Argus interrupted. With a sense of triumph that proved utterly crushing to the scientist, the commander said,“That's exactly what I intend to do.”

Rio furiously shot out of his seat. “Commander Argus, I am on the threshold of a breakthrough-a breakthrough!” Rio objected with the enraged indignity. “Surely the Council has raised an objection to this...madness!”

“I've already talked to the Council, and no objections were made,” Argus replied. “Your charm and connections can only go so far without any results to back it up. Your precious little Council buddies won't save you this time.”

Rio's rage soared. “I don't have time for this!” he seethed. “I have experiments to conduct, subjects to observe, and data to analyze-and all of it must be overseen by myself! I can't just hit a pause button on the test subjects Argus!”

“Then re-run the tests,” Argus replied nonchalantly.

Rio's anger hit a climax. “You fool!” he yelled. “Don't you realize what it is I'm trying to accomplish!? Don't you!?I will not allow you to jeopardize my work just because of your-!”

You will do as commanded!” Argus roared. “You brought this upon yourself. Your orders are as given, and If you don't follow them I promise I will throw you in the brig and charge you with treason! Do you understand me?

For a moment, Rio stared at his commanding officer dumfounded. He quickly regained his composure and replied with subdued malice, “I understand perfectly, commander.

“Good,” Argus replied as he scrutinized the scientist. The commander returned to his desk, picking up a small datapad and holding it in the air. “This is everything we know about the target.” Argus threw the device at Rio, who caught it and glanced at its contents. “Take it, study it, and wait for my order. We've managed to determine he dropped out of FTL-speeds in the Rings of Fire. When the probes discover what planet he's on, you will lead a retrieval team to apprehend him. You are not to return until he's either captured or you procure evidence of his death. Have I made myself clear?”

Rio looked up from the datapad. “I understand sir,” he replied calmly.

Argus nodded. “You're dismissed then.”

The scientist wasted no time in leaving. He calmly left the office, glided through the metal halls, and darted into the nearest restroom. Rio reached the sink and just stood there, staring into his reflection, simmering over his orders. For a moment, Rio did nothing but stare, enveloping himself in the silence. Then he roared, and the mirror was shattered by an angry fist.

“What was he thinking...? What was the Council thinking!?” Rio growled angrily at himself. Something was wrong. Rio always had their support and for a very good reason-what changed? Only after a few minutes did Rio finally register that his hand was bleeding. He let out a large, frustrated sigh. “No matter,” he said to himself. “A lone human, no matter how abnormal, is no match for me.”

Resolved in the quick completion of his task, Rio wrapped his hand in a towel until he could have it properly bandaged. As he traversed the halls of his ship, he began to read the datapad given to him. At the top was a picture of the target, a pale-skinned man with jetting black hair, steel gray eyes, and a short but broad goatee.

Underneath the picture, in large bold letters, was his alias: “Eridos”.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

The man awoke sweating to the broiling heat of mid-day. He groaned as he groggily reached for his canteen and drank from it. He glanced at first at the twin suns ablaze in the sky, then at the sheet of metal used as a makeshift roof. He made a tic mark with his knife, culminating in a total of seven. The man sighed as he rubbed his hands through his messy black hair. He reached over, grabbed a large, thin blanket, and used it to create a makeshift cloak to protect his pale skin against the burning suns. He then sauntered from underneath his shed to examine his campsite.

The metal sheet-his shelter-was a piece of his ship's wing, dragged and propped against what remained of the hull. A small portable gas stove lay nearby, alongside a small collection of pots and pans wrapped in another blanket. Off to the side was his double-barreled assault rifle, loaded and ready should he need it. A huge container lay in the open, ready to collect any rain water should it appear. The man shook his canteen. Hopefully, that would be soon.

The man then set about checking the rest of his camp, making sure no wild animals got into the little food he could store. Satisfied that his provisions were safe, his attention turned to the deep-space radio. He expected just to hear static, just as he had for the last seven days. He was thus almost overcome with shock when he heard a distorted voice crying out, ”Midday, midday, this is the FS Scotty. We've come under attack and are in need of assistance immediately. Engines are at critical levels, and we've been boarded by an unknown party. The attacking ships appear to be Turgun, but beyond that we can't-”

Suddenly, just like that, the voice was silenced and the static returned.

All the man could do was blink. “What...the hell was that?” he asked himself. All he could do was stand there, listening to the static of his radio. He expected static-at best, the captain of a public transit shuttle or some space-trucker, not an SOS from a ship under attack by the Turguns. Just then, a loud boom pierced the silence of the wasteland and grabbed the man's attention. High above was a small dot barely visible in the bright blue sky. It was soon realized that the boom was the sound of a ship re-entering the planet's atmosphere.

The man dashed to his ship and grabbed his gun, pointing it skywards as he retreated behind his ship. “Looks like this is it,” he muttered as he steeled himself for the upcoming battle. He watched the skies, ready for anything, but as the ship got closer he began to realize it wasn't a Turgun ship. Not only was it was too small, but the design was too circular-almost orb like. “What the-wait a minute,” he muttered as he lowered his rifle. “Is...is that an escape pod?” Just then, something else dawned on the man: the rockets were getting louder, and the pod was getting bigger. Two plus two was quickly added, and with a look of almost indescribable annoyance the man couldn't help but utter, “Oh [censored]...”

The escape pod crashed with a thunderous boom, kicking up clouds of dust and dirt. The consequent concussive blast was powerful enough to knock the man off his feet and send him rolling along the dirt. He came to a stop a full thirty feet away from his ship, coughing and choking on dust. Luckily, a small wind quickly cleared the air and revealed a large impact crater a mile or so away from his camp. The man, who was still catching his breath, promptly got back to his feet. He realized if the escape pod's trajectory had been even a few degrees off he would have been dead.

The man-robbed of his makeshift cloak in the chaos of the crash, lungs filled with dust, and his clothes covered in dirt-slowly marched towards the crater, making a point to retrieve his assault rifle along the way. He made it to the crater's edge and dropped onto his belly. He pulled out his rifle, aimed it at the door, and waited for whoever-or whatever-would come out.

Suddenly, the doors hissed open and a humanoid alien limped out of of the escape pod. The man could see through the scope of his rifle that whatever the passenger was, it obviously wasn't Turgun. It wasn't even three feet away when it suddenly collapsed face-first into the dirt.

The man sat aside his rifle, slid down the crater, and rushed to help the injured alien. “Hey, you okay?” he asked in a gruff voice as he reached the passenger. He dropped to one knee and flipped the alien face-up. What he saw next made him gasp.

She was a furred humanoid with digitigrade feet and a long tail with a large tuft at the end. Her fur was a cream yellow, with the exception of her short white muzzle, white belly, and black-tipped limbs. Black spots dotted her shoulders, forearms, and tail, with three extra spots under her left eye. The fur around her eyelids was black, as was the fur at the tip of her large, pointed ears. Her wavy hair was a bright gold, and her pink nose vaguely resembled the shape of a heart.

Yet it wasn't her physical appearance which surprised the man. It was something visible only to him which made him gape in bewilderment. “How...how is this possible?” he asked himself in a low whisper.

A small groan brought him out of his confused stare. It was then he noticed the huge gash in her right thigh. The man looked at the alien for another moment- contemplating something-before hoisting her by the arms and dragging her back into the escape pod.

“What's...what's going on...?” the alien mumbled confusedly. “Wha...where am...I? Who...who are you?”

Shh, save your strength,” the man replied. He gingerly sat her on the floor of the escape pod and snatched a first-aid kit from the wall. The man brought out his knife, cut a hole in her pants around the gap, and applied disinfectant and gauze. “There, that should stop the bleeding,” he said as he tightened and tied the final knot. The alien managed to open her eyes, bright green orbs with small slits, and stare at the bandaging. She tried to get up, but only managed to slump against one of the seats, groaning the entire time. She tried again, but the man grabbed her shoulders and kept her seated. “Hey, listen to me! I've managed to stop the bleeding, but you've still lost a lot of blood. You really don't need to be moving right now.”

“...who...are you?” the alien feebly asked.

The man ignored the question. “You need to get some rest,” he said coolly. “You're experiencing the side effects of major blood loss. Without a blood transfusion, the best you can do right now is stay still and not move.”

She weakly shook her head. “Don't worry...I'm fine. I'm just...dizzy from the crash.. I'll be...”

She tried to stand up again, but the man gently grabbed her shoulders and forced her back down. “Listen to me if you want to live!” the man almost hissed. “You've lost too much blood to be moving, understand? Stay here and rest, and I'll be back in a little bit with some food and water.”

The alien nodded her head, and the man gave a small smile. He got up to leave, but a black furred hand shakily reached out and grabbed his pant-leg. “Wait,” she uttered. The man turned to look at her. “Before you go...can...can I at least know your name?”

“There will be plenty of time to talk later,” he replied quickly. “I need to get you some water. I'll be right back.” He tried to leave again, but her grip tightened. He turned and saw her bright green eyes staring imploringly into his own.

“Please...” she uttered, her tired face somewhat nervous and almost frightened. “I...appreciate your help...I really do...but I'd feel better if I at least knew who you were.”

The man blinked and stared at the alien curiously. Finally, after a long pause, the man answered, “Eric. My name is Eric.”

The alien smiled. “Tammy...Marco. Thank you...for...helping...” with that, Tammy succumbed to her exhaustion and passed out. Released from her hold, Eric turned to leave, but stopped to take one last look at the alien. He couldn't get over what he saw every time he looked at her.
“I need to know,” Eric said to himself. He got back on his knees and removed the glove from his right hand. His eyes started emitting a violet glow as he reached out and placed his hand on the alien's forehead. After a few moments, the glow dissipated and the hand was withdrawn. “...What are you?” he asked himself as he re-gloved his hand.

Eric got back on his feet and stared at the alien. He had a decision to make, and it needed to be made now. After a few minutes turned into an eternity, he left to go get the water he promised. He just hopped his decision wouldn't come back to haunt him later...

_____________________________________________________________________________________________


Well, I hope you guys enjoyed that. I had a hell of a writer's block deciding how exactly this chapter needed to go down, but then again I've always been horrible with beginnings.

I have a question to ask: does the story seem very unique as it right now? I have things which I plan to reveal over time that I think will make the story more unique, but lately I've been wondering if the story, in its early stages, might be perceived as "bland/uncreative/cliche/etc." and turn off people reading through the beginning. I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this. :)

Other than that, critique, comment, questions, and speculation are welcome, so have at it! :grin:

Oh, and I went and tidied up the prologue a little bit. Nothing drastically story-changing, just some nit-pick corrections... >.>

EDIT January 28, 2012: Altered this chapter quite a bit. It doesn't affect the overall story, but it alters characterization and pacing a bit. That, and the slightly altered events give me somewhere to launch from next chapter. :)
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Re: ERIDOS Chapter 1: The Hunt (Mature language warning)

#6 Post by AlfaWskyDlta »

I think that so far it's pretty original. I can, however, see where your concern about originality comes from. There are so many sci-fi plots that involve space travel and conflicts between alien races out there that it is nearly impossible not end up comparing them. I think that, despite having the basic elements of a more traditional sci-fi plot, your story really does have enough unique elements to set itself apart. As long as the plot keeps us all guessing you should have nothing to worry about.
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Re: ERIDOS Chapter 1: The Hunt (Mature language warning)

#7 Post by Darkfur »

I'm interested...
i would like to see more please!
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Re: ERIDOS Chapter 1: The Hunt (Mature language warning)

#8 Post by Moviedude18.0 »

I should have replied much, much sooner, but thank you Alfa and Darkfur for your opinions. They are greatly appreciated. ^_^

I would just like to let you guys know that yes, I am still working on this story. I've just been doing a lot of brainstorming for it is all. I actually went back and revised the prologue and first chapter a bit. Nothing really changed in the prologue save Eric's plans for survival, but the first chapter has actually gone quite a bit of tweaking to hopefully show off the characterization better and improve the pacing (I thought the exchange between Argus and Rio went a little too quickly, with not enough characterizing banter between the two, and that Eric and Tammy's introductory scene was a little too slow and a little wordy). I promise to try to quit revising past chapters after this point, but that becomes difficult for me as I go back and re-read older chapters before writing new ones. ^_^'

Chapter two is in the works, and I'm hoping I'll have it done within a week-maybe two. There's going to be the first major twist too, so I'm really excited to write that out. Let me know what you think of the revisions (if you have any comments to make about them), or what you think of the story in general if you're a new reader! Hopefully I will be back soon with another chapter! :D

(Oh, and can anyone explain to me how to link to specific posts in a thread? Eventually, this thread will go over one page and I need a way to link to chapters in the future... ^_^')
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Re: ERIDOS Ch 1: The Hunt (Revised+announcements!)(LANGUAGE!

#9 Post by Donnellson86 »

If I remember right the little paper icon in the top right corner is the link. Also sorry for not commenting on the last chapter. So I shall say it is a great piece, it just has a couple of minor spelling errors.

I hope I was some help.
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Re: ERIDOS Ch 1: The Hunt (Revised+announcements!)(LANGUAGE!

#10 Post by Moviedude18.0 »

Donnellson86 wrote:If I remember right the little paper icon in the top right corner is the link. Also sorry for not commenting on the last chapter. So I shall say it is a great piece, it just has a couple of minor spelling errors.

I hope I was some help.
*Clicks little paper icon*

*Sees url change*

...well I'll be... XD Thank you Donnellson. And, thank you for the compliment as well. Of course, I have to admit I'm surprised there's spelling errors. I know for certain my spell-check isn't catching anything (well, anything that isn't misspelled on purpose such as "Wha-what", "datapad", etc). I don't suppose you can recall where these errors are at?
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Re: ERIDOS Ch 1: The Hunt (Revised+announcements!)(LANGUAGE!

#11 Post by Moviedude18.0 »

Sorry to double post, but...

ERIDOS
CHAPTER 2: Calm Before the Storm
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
“Rise and shine sleepy head.”

The gentle call was just enough to disturb the alien’s sleep, but it was the wafting odors of cooked meat that finished the job. Tammy groggily sat up and saw Eric-lit against the night sky by the flame of a campfire-holding a plate of meat staring invitingly at her. For a moment she was confused-she expected to wake up inside her escape pod. Instead, she was surrounded by the remains of another ship, underneath a make-shift tent. “Where...are we?” she asked groggily.

“My ship,” Eric answered nonchalantly. “It gets really hot on this planet during the daytime. If I left you inside the escape pod you would have died of heat exhaustion. So I came back with water, woke you up long enough to give you a drink, and then carried you here. You’ve been asleep all day.”

“I feel like I could go back to sleep right now,” Tammy yawned as she slowly stood up and limped to the campfire. With a pained grunt, she sat down beside the human and accepted the offered plate of meat. The alien seemingly inhaled the food within minutes, and Eric couldn’t help but question if she even tasted anything. Once she finished, she sat aside the plate and let out a contented sigh. “Thank you,” she said warmly. Then she added, “Not just for the food, but for everything.”

Eric was slow to reply, seemingly more concerned with chewing his food than answering her. “You really shouldn’t think too much of it,” he finally replied after swallowing a mouthful. “Consider me nothing more than your average Good Samaritan.”

Tammy was a little put-off by such a reply. The lack of emotion in his face when speaking made her feel very uncomfortable. “O...kay...” she started awkwardly. “Well, I still appreciate it either way. I mean, I probably would have died if it wasn't for you.”

“Probably,” Eric replied as nonchalantly as before. He took another bite, leaving Tammy to suffer under the awkward silence. Finally, after swallowing another mouthful, he asked, “So, what happened that brought you here in an escape pod?”

“My ship was attacked,” Tammy answered.

“I figured that much,” Eric replied dryly. “I meant what specifically happened?”

“I’m…not entirely sure,” Tammy admitted. “I was on a public cruiser heading for the human colony on Apollo Theta, staring into space from one of the window seats. One moment I’m stargazing, then the next thing I know alarms are going off and I’m running into an escape pod. Something exploded and a piece of shrapnel flew into my leg. I saw something coming through the smoke, so I panicked and hit the emergency eject. The rest is a blur; all I really remember is watching as the pod got further away from the cruiser and crashing onto this planet.”

“So you have no idea who or what attacked you?”

Tammy shook her head. “Not really,” she answered. “I never did see any of the attackers. I heard some people shouting something about space pirates, but other than that I don’t have a clue.”

Eric grimaced. He knew the Turguns were desperate to get him, but to go to this length…? ”What are they up to…?” Eric muttered to himself.

Tammy's ears twitched. “Ex...cuse me?” she asked confusedly.

“Hm? Nothing.”

“But…didn’t you say something?”

“No. You’re probably just hearing things.”

Tammy stared at the human, but eventually let the matter go. Once again there was an awkward silence between the two. Eric ate the rest of his dinner, and Tammy allowed her eyes to wander. After awhile, they drifted to the dark-haired human and his unusually pale skin. As she examined her rescuer, Tammy eventually noticed something on Eric’s right arm. “Hey, what’s that?”

Eric blinked. “Huh?”

“That!” Tammy pointed to a tattoo. It was a black fox with thorns coming out from behind it. “What is that?”

Eric paused. Then, with a face as deadpan as a stone wall, he answered, “Well, that is what is commonly referred to by most people as a 'tattoo'.”

Tammy wasn't impressed. “I figured that much. I mean, what's it for? Why'd you get it? What’s it mean?”

Eric shrugged. “I happen to like foxes. They're revered as wise, cunning animals on Earth-to the point the Earthen Japanese incorporated them into their ancient mythologies. I didn't realize I needed a particular reason for having a tattoo.”

“Well... you don't,” Tammy admitted defensively. “It’s just…I’d swear I’ve seen that tattoo before. I'm trying to remember where...”

Eric shrugged again. “There have been plenty of designs incorporating foxes before. There’s no telling how many times you’ve seen something similar.”

Tammy let out a frustrated sigh. “Yeah, I guess you're right,” she relented. “Still, it’s bugging me that I can’t remember…”

“You know, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Eric cut in. “What exactly where you doing out in space to begin with?”

Tammy blinked. “Umm,excuse me?” she asked with a hint of incredulity.

“Well, you're a Lorian, right?” Eric continued.

The mention of her species made her noticeably unhappy. “Yes...and your point is?”

“I know about the Lorians. You’re race isn’t the space-faring type,” Eric replied coolly. “More importantly, most Lorians aren't wearing human clothing, let alone military tags.”

Tammy suddenly became self-conscious of her green tank top, blue-navy patterned cargo pants, and military dog-tag necklace. “Oooh, I see what you're getting at now,” she said as realization came. “I'm not from Loria, Eric. I was adopted when I was a couple of years old and raised by a human in the military named Polonius Marco.”

Eric did a double-take. “Wait a minute; did you say ‘Polonius Marco’? Isn’t he the sergeant who led the expedition on Loria when it was discovered?”

“The very same,” she replied proudly. “This is his dog tag from when he was a marine. I wear it to remind me of him.” Tammy chuckled. “It seems silly I know, but it’s just really comforting for some reason-as if by wearing the necklace he’s always with me.”

A small smile spread across Eric’s face. “You must have a really good relationship with your adoptive father.”

“As far as I'm concerned, he is my father. He loves me just as much as he'd love a human daughter...” Tammy let a small sigh escape her solemnly smiling face. “I was actually on my way to see him when this whole mess started. Now I’m not even certain if I’m going to get off this planet.”

The dark haired man nodded in agreement. “I know how you feel…”

Nothing else needed to be said. The silence returned, and both Human and Lorian sat in contemplation of their situations. The fire which they huddled around was beginning to die out and the mess of weeds and sticks which fueled it were transforming into glowing embers. Eric randomly noticed that Tammy seemed especially distraught. “You okay?” he asked.

Tammy snapped out of her meditations. “Oh, yeah I’m alright,” she replied hastily. “I was just thinking about…stuff.”

“Okay then… Well, I’m going to bed,” Eric proclaimed. “I’d suggest you do the same. A little more rest won’t hurt you.”

“Yeah, yeah, blood-loss, blah-blah-blah…,” Tammy replied jokingly. “Well, goodnight!” As Eric got up and walked away, Tammy turned away from him to fish around in her pockets.

However, they were completely empty.

“No…” Tammy uttered in terrifying realization. She searched more frantically, very desperate to find whatever the item was. “No…no-no-no-no-no!”

The noise caught Eric’s attention. “Hey, what’s the matter?” he asked confusedly as he turned around.

“This can't be happening…where is it?” Tammy shot up from her place and hurriedly limped to her tent, throwing aside blankets in the search for the mysterious missing object.

“Hey, calm down!” Eric shouted as he followed. ”What's going on?”

“I can't find it! I...I can't find it!” Tammy cried in utter despair.

“Find what?” Eric questioned. “What are you looking for?”

“It's a small pill-bottle,” Tammy answered as she continued searching through the blankets. “It...it has a prescription I need, and it's been too long since I last took it. I need to find it!”

“Hey, calm down!” Eric shouted. “You don’t need to be moving around this much! Sit down and-”

“I don’t care about my stupid leg right now! I have to find that medicine!” Tammy growled. When she realized her tone, her panic seemed to increase and she doubled her efforts. After five fruitless minutes of searching, Tammy shot up and grabbed Eric by the shoulders. “Eric, please, we need to go back to the escape pod! It has to be there...it has to be! I need that medicine! Please!

Eric pulled the Lorian's arms off of him. “Tammy, listen to me; we can't go back tonight! You're hurt, and God knows what’s out there right now. If something attacks us and I can't shoot it in time, you won't be able to run away. I promise we'll go in the morning, but I can't risk it tonight.”

“You don't understand!” Tammy threw out her hands in frustration and bared some of her teeth. “I have to have that medicine! If I don't get it soon, I’ll-”

The pleading was cut short by a loud, blood-curdling scream from far off in the distance.

“What…was that?” Tammy asked in a frantic whisper.

“I…don’t know,” Eric replied. “It wasn’t pained, so it wasn’t an animal being hurt. It wasn’t anything I’ve heard from the wildlife either. It almost sounds like a battle cr-” Eric froze. “Oh [censored]…” He ran and got his assault rifle. He grabbed the weapon, checked to make sure it was loaded, cocked it, and turned on the scope. “Tammy, go hide-now!” he commanded as he held up the weapon.

The Lorian freaked out at the sight of the rifle. “Whoa-whoa-whoa!” she cried frantically. “What’s going on here?”

“I’ll explain later,” he grunted. He ran back to her, pulling out his pocket knife. “Take this,” he instructed her. “There’s a button on the side that activates the super-heated edge. If you feel threatened, stab whatever is threatening you. Understood?”

“Yeah, but-”

“This really isn’t the time,” Eric interrupted. “There’s something out there, and whatever it is its about to attack us. Go hide now, before whatever it is comes and-”

A deafening, horrifying scream interrupted him. Eric snapped to his left just in time to see something really big running straight for them. “Get out of the way!” He pushed her aside with just enough time to dodge the large, glowing axe swung at head-chopping level.

Eric saw that the attacker was a large, reptilian looking monstrosity more than seven feet tall with three clawed fingers, dinosaur-like feet, and a large fanged snout. Its garments were that of crude arm and leg armor, worn military pants, and a decorative loincloth. A tuft of fur grew from its chest and head, and tentacles dangled from the sides of its face. Large eyes, black as the night sky with terrifying yellow slits for pupils, stared hungrily at him.

Just as Eric was about to shoot the beast, something hit him across the face and sent him and his weapon flying. He landed against the hull of his ship, almost too disoriented to recognize the follow-up slash of a battle-axe before rolling out of harms way. With a ferocious growl, Eric got back on his feet, grabbed the monster's arm, tugged forward, and slammed his fist into the alien's gut. He followed up with a kick to the knee and finished with an uppercut to the tumbling monster’s jaw. The creature stumbled, then blacked out and fell onto the dirt.

Now that its comrade was unconscious, the first monster- joined by two more of its compatriots-formed a circle around the human. Eric's eyes were glowing violet, and a similar glow seemed to surround his hands. “What’s the matter, none of you can take me by yourself?” he roared. “Well then,C'mon!There’s plenty of me to go around!”

They obliged. The three charged him, their weapons raised and their battle cries deafeningly loud. Eric rolled around the strike of the first with inhuman speed, grabbing its arm and twisting it out of its socket before pushing the alien away. He grabbed the arm of the second mid-swing, pulled him off balance, and flung him into the path of the third's blade. He grabbed the falling axe of the second, spun in a circle, and tossed it into the chest of the first attacker just as he was getting back up. As the third pulled his weapon-hissing from superheated metal meeting bodily fluid-out of the backside of his comrade, Eric leaped up, kicked the alien in the chest, landed, grabbed the falling blade, and struck down the third. The alien promptly fell down and died.

Eric pulled the weapon out of the body. He noticed that even more of the monsters seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Recognizing that he was horrifically outnumbered, Eric raised the battle axe, the glowing blade illuminating his face against the night sky, and prepared for the worst.

Eric!

Eric snapped to his left and saw Tammy in the iron grip of two of the monsters. They held her suspended from the ground, one for each arm, with an axe blade hovering inches from her throat. The glow dissipated from Eric's eyes, and he grudgingly threw aside his weapon. The aliens swarmed him, beating him to a pulp from all sides. Once he was good and bruised, they pinned him and tied his arms behind his back. A command was given in an alien language, and two of the monsters held up the human so that he could stare into the eyes of what he assumed to be the group’s leader.

Several things stood out about this alien. While most of the aliens were about seven foot tall, this particular alien was closer to Eric’s six. His armor was newer and even came with a chest plate, and his garments seemed more ceremonial than practical. His blood-red hair was incredibly bushy, and the orange pupils of his black eyes seemed to glow with curiosity. “I have to say, human, you’re not quite like the rest of your kind,” the alien spoke in a condescending, raspy sort of voice.

Eric, bruised and beaten as he was, managed a double-take. “Did…did you just speak English?” he asked incredulously.

The alien shrugged. “If ‘English’ is the name of this alien tongue, then I suppose I did.”

Eric paused. “How?” he demanded.

“I don’t think you are in a position to be asking questions right now,” the alien replied curtly. “Normally, I would just have you killed, but the Voda wishes an audience with you.Consider yourself lucky.” The creature punched Eric in the stomach and turned to face its comrades. ”Take them away,” he casually growled in his native language.

The aliens obeyed and proceeded to marching away from the campsite. “Let me go!” Tammy screamed as she struggled against her captors. “Please, I need to get to my escape pod! I have to have that medicine!” The pleas were promptly ignored and the band of hostile aliens, prisoners in tow, marched on towards parts unknown.
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Donnellson86
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Re: ERIDOS Ch 2: Calm Before the Storm (LANGUAGE!)

#12 Post by Donnellson86 »

I have to say you're ability to write a fight scene is quite remarkable. I can't wait to read more.
Insanity is curable...but craziness is not.
Giving a shout out to all the Furcs out there.
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Div. 13 Story
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The Maskmaker
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Re: ERIDOS Ch 2: Calm Before the Storm (LANGUAGE!)

#13 Post by The Maskmaker »

All it needs is pictures. How about a comic? :kathrin:
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Zev
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Re: ERIDOS Ch 2: Calm Before the Storm (LANGUAGE!)

#14 Post by Zev »

I am constantly amazed by the skill and talent of the writers and artists of this forum, and I am pleasantly surprised you are able to do both so well, I am unable to do any critiques as I am currently pressed for time but you made a pretty neat story Moviedude, I like it alot.

I look forward to the next chapter. :)

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