Super Mario Ramblings

[ghastmaskzombie]

Alright, the gist of this is that I've become obsessed with the Mario series lately, and I've noticed so many weird things about his world that I just have to share them with people. And I hope to my maker that I find other people who think too much about silly video games, and they (that means you) feel free to join in.
Honestly, I don't really know if this is a sensible kind of thing to start a thread about, because I'm an aspie and I'm new to forums and as Sheldon Cooper would say "I don't know the protocol for this." Seriously, if this is a weird thing to post, please tell me. Be sure to specify further if it is a weird thing to post, but not technically inappropriate. But that is neither in the here nor in the there. That's a Mario quote, actually: Welderberg, Super Paper Mario.
Anyway, by the break of day I'll have another post here that actually has a bunch of those thoughts I was talking about, specifically about the recurring enemies of the Mario franchise. I just need maybe an hour or so to gather my thoughts. I probably should have done that before I began to write this post out, but I thought I already had until just a moment ago. I'm also currently in a state of mind that is very unfamiliar to me so I'm kind of effectively drunk, which is also why I'm providing all of this irrelevant, unsolicited information. Dammit, end post.

[ghastmaskzombie]

So, here are some of those thoughts I was talking about.
Bob-ombs are clearly automatons. They run on clockwork, they walk like robotic stereotypes, and they have no fear of their own deaths. Heck, the Monty Moles on Isle Delfino even upgraded to digital Bob-ombs. Yet Admiral Bobbery mourned the loss of his wife Scarlette. Now, I'm surprised he even knew what mourning was. This is a race for whom kamikaze is a standard greeting, and there's Bobbery treating loss like something special. But let's set that aside and focus on the more important question: could it be that Scarlette, this mysterious, magical woman, taught a machine to love. No, let's set that aside as well and focus on an even more important question: if Bobbery truly is a machine, how did he grow such a magnificent moustache? Surely, wars will be fought over the technology by which robots may grow moustaches. I can see the sequel now. Paper Mario: Moustache Star!
...I think it's safe to say that joke got away from me a bit. Bear in mind it's very late for me and I'm not thinking with 100% clarity. Though I wouldn't have it any other way.
I've also been thinking about Shy Guys. In two Mario spin-offs, a Shy Guy has been shown to lose its mask, and the face behind it was implied to be absolutely terrifying. I noticed that what appear to be the mask's straps turned out to have no connection to the mask, and therefore whatever Lovecraftian horror lurks beneath is capable of holding onto a mask without aid for hours on end, at the very least. Faces should not be able to do that. Of course, if we assume the lack of straps was just an oversight, then it's probably just ugly. If this is the case, then I propose that the cause of their deformity is genetic bottlenecking due to their homeland literally being a toy box. And I always thought it was weird that it was called Shy Guy's Toy Box, rather than Shy Guys' Toy Box. Does it just belong to one of them? I suppose we'll never know.
And now I must stop writing and go to sleep. Past observations indicate that if I stay up another half an hour I'll start to exhibit signs of psychosis, and I don't want that.

[ghastmaskzombie]

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