The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#646 Post by Hayate » Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:57 am

Him wrote:
JediGuy wrote:Don't mind me, just stirring up tea, trouble and people's hopes.
I hate it when you do this.
Give him a warning for necro-posting :P
This post fills you with Determination :squirrel:
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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#647 Post by JediGuy » Wed Jan 25, 2017 2:26 am

Hayate wrote:
Him wrote:
JediGuy wrote:Don't mind me, just stirring up tea, trouble and people's hopes.
I hate it when you do this.
Give him a warning for necro-posting :P
On the contrary, I'm merely inquiring as to the further development of meaningful content in this thread.
Magic is merely science that we have yet to understand.

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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#648 Post by Hayate » Wed Jan 25, 2017 2:31 am

JediGuy wrote:
Hayate wrote:Give him a warning for necro-posting :P
On the contrary, I'm merely inquiring as to the further development of meaningful content in this thread.
Don't lie, you are just here to crush hopes as swiftly as you raised them.
This post fills you with Determination :squirrel:
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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#649 Post by Schrodinger » Wed Jan 25, 2017 2:35 am

JediGuy wrote:
Hayate wrote:
Him wrote:
JediGuy wrote:Don't mind me, just stirring up tea, trouble and people's hopes.
I hate it when you do this.
Give him a warning for necro-posting :P
On the contrary, I'm merely inquiring as to the further development of meaningful content in this thread.
I, for one, welcome the new activity. Gives me some incentive to complete my next vignette.
What was it the spider said to the fly...

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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#650 Post by Dadrobit » Wed Jan 25, 2017 2:12 pm

Hayate wrote:
JediGuy wrote:
Hayate wrote:Give him a warning for necro-posting :P
On the contrary, I'm merely inquiring as to the further development of meaningful content in this thread.
Don't lie, you are just here to crush hopes as swiftly as you raised them.
Monster!

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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#651 Post by TheMouse » Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:41 pm

Hopes, dashed. Sad mouse.
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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#652 Post by Twippit » Tue Feb 28, 2017 4:36 am

TheMouse wrote:Hopes, dashed. Sad mouse.
Dammit, Mouse!
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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#653 Post by Him » Tue Feb 28, 2017 1:49 pm

I am here to perpetuate the cycle of hate and misery.

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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#654 Post by TinyVoices » Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:01 pm

Him wrote:I am here to perpetuate the cycle of hate and misery.
This thread is 90% trolling. :grin:

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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#655 Post by Schrodinger » Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:08 pm

TinyVoices wrote:
Him wrote:I am here to perpetuate the cycle of hate and misery.
This thread is 90% trolling. :grin:
90% trolling, 5% anger, 5% actual fiction.
What was it the spider said to the fly...

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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#656 Post by JediGuy » Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:16 am

Schrodinger wrote:
TinyVoices wrote:
Him wrote:I am here to perpetuate the cycle of hate and misery.
This thread is 90% trolling. :grin:
90% trolling, 5% anger, 5% actual fiction.
But that last 5% is worth dying for...
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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#657 Post by Schrodinger » Sun Jun 25, 2017 8:41 am

Ah, screw it. I don't think I'll ever be completely satisfied with the work. Damn perfectionist tendencies.


It's not every day you find yourself in the back of a van that's been converted into a mobile apartment. This one in particular belongs to a friend that I had planned to meet earlier only to find his vehicle parked on the corner and him nowhere in sight. Given the hours he keeps, he's probably out getting some dinner despite how early in the day it is. Rather than stand outside and wait I instead elect to invite myself into my friend's home. The brown panel van is locked, of course, but that doesn't pose much of a problem for me.

The inside is... interesting to say the least. An example of schizophrenic decor. The back is a disorganized mess of tossed clothing, old masks, and sketchbooks full of works at various stages of completion. In the middle is a dirty old mattress with equally worn sheets which I take a seat on. By contrast, the driving area is pristine; almost factory new. He never did like people seeing his mess.

A minute passes, then two, then five. Then I hear the sound of keys outside and someone unlocking the door. The owner, a short and wide... thing of a man wearing a panda mask, one Joshua Madoc, opens the driver's side door and climbs in carrying a large and worn plastic mug shaped like a dog's face. Settling in, he begins to eat something I can't identify but smells like the tripe used in dog food mixed with spoiled curry and raw sewage. My nose turns up involuntarily and I can't help myself.

"The hell is that crap?"

Joshua bolts up, his head almost going through the roof, and whips around almost leaning on the horn to look at me. It takes him a moment to recognize it's me in the shadows, sitting patiently on his mattress, and starts to relax again.

"Jhee-zus christ, man, that's a [censored] jump you gave me." My eyes are on the fresh impression his skull made on the sheet metal above him. Josh turns back around with a relaxed sigh and turns his attention back to his meal, "And for your information I'm eating... I, uh... don't really know what this is."

"Whatever it is it smells horrendous."

He gives the mug a few sniffs, "Smells fine to me." I sneer at him from the back, "That would explain how you can stomach that slop." Getting distracted. I shake my head and growl, "Nevermind that, do you have what I asked for?"

Finishing another slurp with a noise of affirmation he sets the mug beside him and reaches into the passenger side, pulling a stack of papers from the glove box. He checks them briefly before turning and handing them to me. I take the stack from him and start reading. They're all articles from the Bad Webcomics Wiki, a tabloid rag that runs on caustic reviews like Avwolf runs on caffeine.

Flipping through them the subjects are varied: one with an abortion from the perspective of the fetus, one from an objectivist tap dancing around his incest fetish, another about a busty bovine on a farm, slap-stick lesbian pornography, a comic with literal cut-and-paste art, the ever infamous Jack Chick, and even our own little burg. Most of the articles read like genuine care was put into them. A good structure and valid criticism amid the lampooning. Some, however, seem like they were written by people who took the crass logo of the publication at face value and [censored] out the same kind of sophomoric shock humor you'd read from the Encyclopedia Dramatica. I recognize one of the repeating names and grin wide.

"What are you looking for, exactly?"

I flip the pages back over and drop the stack on Josh's bed, "A little bit of context."

"This about Lupe being back in town?" I glance up briefly. Not surprising that he knew about that. Josh's paranoia keeps him in the know of the goings on in this town. Comes in handy when my eyes are focused elsewhere. "Now which little birdy told you that?" He fidgets and is about to answer before I cut him off, "Ah, don't tell me. It'll spoil the fun of finding out for myself."

He turns back around in his seat and stares out the windshield, a brief repose passing through him before reaching down to resume his meal. We stay silent for a few moments; him eating and me giving his home-on-wheels a second look over. Assorted masks are strewn about and mixed into the mess behind the driver's seat. I remember some of those.

Black. Through the windshield I can see a blacked out car moving past us. Joshua is talking to me and I'm only half paying attention. The rest of me is mulling over Lupe and his history with our forum. It's one of the few things people still talk about that happened after I rolled into town. How long has it been now? Feels like forever. I open the file again and check the date on the article on the Founder. The thing that still gets people's dander up even now, years after the fact. I guess the subtlety of satire is lost on some people, not helped by the cold read of text on a page.

Joshua is ranting about werewolf media again. "I just get sick of seeing the same damn song and dance about the pack this, full moon that... I want something different, ya know?" I shut the file and stow it away in my coat for later inspection. "The mythos has always been about being in conflict with one's animal urges. Think Jekyll and Hyde. It's the fear of losing your humanity."

I let loose a wicked chuckle and a mad grin, "I, on the other hand. I fully embrace what I am." Josh turns and gives me a concerned look. He turns back and starts to nervously tap on the steering wheel. "Still," he pauses for a thought, "It's getting crazy out there, bro. And I don't just mean the odd wacko like that horse guy on the soapbox."

I flash a wry grin and sigh, "We live in interesting times, my friend." I lift myself up from his bed and step to the door, popping the lock and sliding it open to step out onto the curb. Adjusting my hat and coat I call back to him, "Just keep your head down and stay out of the way. It's going to get a lot noisier and a lot messier before it's over." He gulps as I shut the door behind me and turn to the sidewalk.

Black. A black SUV parked across the street catches my eye. The same black vehicle from earlier. Now, normally I'd think nothing of it since the area has plenty of food establishments to suit your tastes. But this one was parked facing the wrong direction, or the right direction if you drove around the block and came back the other way. And the fact the occupant is still inside trying to hide from view. With a snort I turn up my collar and pretend I hadn't noticed him. Then, when I step into his blind spot, I dash across the street with my piece in hand holding it low to my hip and just out of view of bystanders. The occupant is shuffling around trying to spot me again as I come up to the driver's side widow. Aiming the muzzle where the sap is sitting through the door I tap the glass with my free hand, "Roll it down or I'll bust it myself."

A moment of panicked shuffling and the tinted glass starts to slide downward and a distinct white stripe on a black helmet comes into view. I recognize the shape and colors immediately and stow my weapon away again. "Dammit, Rookie. What are you, a spook now?" I can't see his face but I can tell he's sweating bullets.

"H-hi! Didn't think you'd catch me, Schro!" He nervously tries to it laugh off like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. "Just... sightseeing is all." I lean into the window, my grin long since faded from my face. "Sightseeing, huh? Is that what they call tailing someone these days?" Rook's a good guy, makes his bread as a cartoonist of sorts but he's always looking for some action. Standing straight I pull a notepad out and begin to scribble an address as I walk around to the other side and enter the passenger seat. Tearing the page out and handing it to him as I buckle myself in to the black behemoth. "Want to be a spook for a day? Head to that address."

I recline into the seat as after he takes the directions and fires the engine, "And next time, if you want to remain inconspicuous, use a silver sedan. No one notices those."
What was it the spider said to the fly...

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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#658 Post by Him » Tue Jun 27, 2017 8:37 am

Ooh, enter character Rookie. I'm glad to see a continuation even if it isn't from Av. Keep up the good work.

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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#659 Post by Schrodinger » Sat Jul 01, 2017 8:46 am

Thanks for that Him, I'd love to hear some feedback on the writing. I already have plans for the next vignette but I don't know if I want to make my fictional counterpart's actions fully divulged.
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Re: The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

#660 Post by JediGuy » Fri Nov 24, 2017 6:02 am

Hey, Schro, I like the vignette! Makes me think I need to re-write one of mine...

And hey, trigger warning, yadda yadda.
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