The Bleak Streets of Twokinds: A Twokinds Forum Noir Story

[Wynni]

AAAaaaavie, your rabid public demands the next installment.

Even if it's just a couple paragraphs.

Pretty please?

[avwolf]

Alright, fair enough. I've actually got about a page written up, but I've been hoping to do at least two pages, since otherwise the updates seem really slim to me, but you're right, I've sat on it long enough. My folks are in town visiting my brother and I this weekend, but I'll post it up as soon as they head home and I can shift my attention.

-- Okay --
As promised, here's the latest installment. Pardon if the ending of this one's a little weak... I needed to get it to a place where I felt like I could stop, and the hour's getting pretty late for me to put together quality work. I hope everybody enjoys it.


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The last time I marched into a dark building, I got hit in the face with a shovel in the instant it took for my eyes to adjust to the lack of light. This time I didn't plan on taking the chance. I let Loquacious take the lead, clicking the safety off as loudly as I could manage.

"Alright, whoever you are. If you haven't assumed room temperature yet, you might want to introduce yourself politely, before I help you break your habit of breathing," I shout into the darkness. I'm not really sure if I expected a response. If this was the guy who was going to be lynched, he might want to keep hiding. That's assuming he was alive at all.

"Avwolf? So Keldoth found you..." A voice murmurs out of the darkness, punctuating its sentences with a wet, choking cough, like a case-a-day smoker gargling through soaked burlap. I don't recognize the voice immediately. That, in and of itself, is somewhat surprising. I know damn near everyone in this forum. Okay, that's an overstatement. But I still have at least a passing acquaintance with most of the regulars. A face materializes into the light. A young male wolf, with brown fur, glasses, and not the clearest complexion. He's not one of the regulars, but something tickles in my head. I've seen this wolf before. "I thought I'd landed myself in the cooking pot last time I let my gums flap, but this time, all I did was show my face and I almost got it removed." The wolf eyes my thoughtful scowl and extends a hand. "Lupe. Lupe --"

"The Luigiian," I finish, taking his hand and meeting his gaze. I've placed the mug, and I have a pretty good idea why he'd get jumped by a batch of goons.

"You've got a good memory," he tells me, smiling, like he's reassured by that fact. He shouldn't be.

"Sure I do. You're the guy who ran that story about the city in that news rag. Implied some rather unkind things about the Founder even. Damn near got you strung up before we realized it was half or better satire and you were almost a fan yourself."

"Yeah," he looks away. Eye contact's a challenge to a wolf, one that Lupe's not willing to get into. "But that's why I asked Kel to find you, after he helped pull me out of the rubble. You were one of 'em who figured out the score." I nod. I remember. "Listen, Avwolf, ya gotta help me."

"I don't 'gotta' do [censored], Lupe," I snort. "These are my streets, and it'd probably do good for the peace and quiet if I put you on ice myself."

"Please, Av. I didn't come to cause no trouble this time! I wanted to be a part of this. This city's famous all over the 'Net. I can't trust anybody else to help me outta this." He's sweating so bad, I think I could load Loquacious with the beads from his forehead.

"Calm down. I don't make a habit outta smoking wiseguys without having a good reason for it. But if you want me to get to the bottom of this and extend my protection, you're going to have to do what I say. Cross me and I'll leave you for the pitchforks 'n torches crowd."

"S-sure," Lupe stammers. Good. A little fear'll help him keep his edge. It's when you get complacent that somebody's gonna come and give you a lead injection.

"Alright, stick close. I know a place we can go that you'll be safe. Nobody crosses Momma."

"If you say so..." He gathers up a little briefcase and tries to settle his bowler more squarely on his head. The kid isn't even packing. He really didn't come to cause trouble this time. I slip Loquacious back under my coat and head for the door. Keldoth and Kilroy are milling around the scene when I step outside with Lupe in tow.

"[censored], Kel," I say, "The Luigiian? You could have told me that I'd be lookin' at something this big."

"Would you have come if you'd known?" Keldoth asks, raising an eyebrow. I shoot him a wry smile.

"Well...I suppose you've got a point there." I look around, gathering the others into the conversation with my gaze. "Alright, so Lupe here wants to join our happy family, but some of the brats and possibly a feuding uncle or two would prefer he be rubbed out. He's asked me to deal with this situation for him. So I figure --" I'm cut off by the sound of squealing rubber. Now that's just rude.

I turn and see a car swerving around the corner to head right for us. Bullets do a staccato tap dance on the pavement at our feet. I shove Lupe in the direction of Kilroy, who takes the hint and runs with it, grabbing the wolf and diving behind some blackened rubble. Keldoth pulls out a magnum revolver, bulky enough that I'm not sure where he was hiding it and big enough for somebody to make jokes about him compensating for something. Then I've got Loquacious' comfortable weight in my palm, and I'm sighting down the barrel. Good thing that the gunner's in a fast moving car and doesn't have any skill with their little popgun. They haven't gotten close to hitting either of us. Keldoth and I start throwing bullets back in their direction, only ours have a little more care and patience behind them. A tire goes out on the car with a sound like hand grenade in a hot air balloon and the car swerves dangerously. Keldoth smiles. I snap a fresh magazine into my rod. The car takes a hard jerk and rushes down an alleyway halfway up the street.

"Stay put!" I shout, running down the street. I need to see where the car's going. The crunch of metal on metal tells me that what I really need to see is where the occupants are going, because the car has reached its destination. I round the corner and my eyes verify what my ears already knew. The car had buried itself halfway into a dumpster, like so much garbage. The doors were all thrown open and the sound of footsteps echoed through the alley. There was no way I'd catch any of these schmucks now. I check the car over quickly. If they'd been watching for Lupe to show his face, it was more important than ever that I get him to Momma's. Blood on the seat cushions makes it obvious that Keldoth and I hit more than their tires, at least once. Otherwise, the car's clean. Still has that "new fake leather" smell. I run my hand through my hair and slip my hat back on. Maybe this going to be a more complicated than just placating a batch of easily riled up Newbs. I wander back to the others near the burned out thread.

"So," Keldoth prompts, "How many of them did we get?" I sigh in response.

"They all got clear and disappeared," I say, shaking my head, "Though at least one of them's got a little token to remember us by." Kilroy snorts a laugh while Keldoth chuckles darkly. "So here's the deal: Those guys might've been Newbs, or they might've been somebody higher up the food chain. I'm not sure yet. But it looks like somebody's made Lupe's immediate future, or rather a lack thereof, to be a pretty high priority. I've gotta get him somewhere safe."

"Momma's?" Kilroy asks, his burger hat still hanging slightly askew. I nod.

"I figure that's the best bet. Keldoth, mind putting your ear to the ground? See if any of the furless have heard anything? You're more likely to get something out of them than I am." Keldoth nods.

"I'll catch you later, Av. Good luck, Lupe." He heads off, sliding his piece back into the holster deep in his pinstripe jacket.

"Kilroy, would you head down to the Newb's territory and poke around there for me? I'll meet you there after I've dropped Lupe off. If we're lucky, we'll catch some of the Newb Gang who'd been involved in the flaming. Maybe even some of the triggermen from that car wreck."

"Sure," the weasel nods, his manic grin growing broader at the thought of administering some 'back crackings' to a few rambunctious Newbs. "You probably ought to see if you can find Spike too. He might have heard something."

"Mmm. Yeah, that's a good point, Kilroy. I'll try to catch him too. Thanks. And take care."

"Nobody'd dare mess with the burger!" Kilroy laughs. I glance over at the Luigiian.

"Looks like you're really getting popular, Lupe. I haven't had anybody shoot at me like that in a while."

"See why I need your help?" Now that he'd gotten over his welcoming party and wasn't panicking any longer, Lupe was taking the situation in stride. "People are already trying to kill me, and I didn't do nothin' this time."

"Yeah, well, don't worry about it. Nobody'll mess with you where we're headed."

[Nuff]

I haven't got much to say other then I enjoyed it and keep up the good work Av

[Sithil]

Seems like you're bringing a whole batch of members into the story, eh? Sounds terrific. Poor, poor Luigiian. It was never fair how you were first treated here.

Once again, a terrific work done, avwolf. I'm on the tip of my seat for the next part.

[Dlemon]

Loved it and cant wait for more! I really enjoyed it. But that raises a small question that I dont know the answer to and am afraid to ask. What happened to him when he first joined?

[Sithil]

But that raises a small question that I dont know the answer to and am afraid to ask. What happened to him when he first joined?

We sent assasins to where he lives. But they were cheap, and failed.

[avwolf]

But that raises a small question that I dont know the answer to and am afraid to ask. What happened to him when he first joined?

He didn't join the first time his Twokinds review was found by the forums, though he did come by to see what comments we were making (and proceeded to make sarcastic remarks about them on his website ). We were pretty rambunctious about it that time, though. I'm not proud to admit how worked up we got about it. I'm also giving myself a bit more credit here than I deserve -- while I put together that the article was at least partially satirical, I wasn't entirely convinced I could believe that was the case. If somebody wanted to unify swaths of the forum for nefarious ends, uniting them behind a banner calling for TheLuigiian's blood would be a pretty reasonable way to go about doing it.

-- Also --
I'm glad you guys are enjoying it. I've got a lot of forumgoer cameos planned, since it would be a pretty boring rendition of the forums if it were all about me. Of course, you already know this, Sithil. Once I've introduced more of the dramatis personae, I think I'm going to lay an open challenge to people to write their own vignettes into the world if they'd like (though that's partially because I think having avwolf hit in the face with a shovel as a running gag would be pretty funny). Everybody's got their own stories to tell, after all.

[Dlemon]

Thanks for answering my question and I cant wait for the next installment, Keep it up.

[Wynni]

Looooove it!

Hmmm, wonder who this mysterious Momma could be

Avie, you've even got my husband reading. He loves noir style, and quick wit. You've heaping helpings of both sweetie. Kudos!

[Verilidaine]

Sweet, update. I'm really excited to see where this is going.

Heh, this prompted a lot of digging around in the forum archives for the events being described...I really like how you took pure conversation and something as nonexistent as an internet forum and turned it into a town.

And, quite selfishly, I'm pretty eager to see if/when I get in here and what on earth I'll be up to

[Sable Dove]

Very interesting. I'm waiting patiently and/or rabidly for more.

[Kilroywuzheere]

XD This. Is. Awesome.

I wish I came down here more often. I'd have noticed this sooner. X3

Keep up the good work. I laughed quite a bit.

[FoobyKamikaze]

I find it funny how I recently went through the Chicago level in Timesplitters 2 a week or so ago. The drive-by shooting in that didn't end up very well either.
XD


Go go go Av!

[FastChapter]

This is just a riot to read, Av! XD I can't wait to see Kinuki make an appearance, *nudge nudge*

[[Yokel]]

*Joins in nudging Avwolf.*