Twisted Reality - Important Notice - 10/26/11

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TunnagDuine
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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#151 Post by TunnagDuine »

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Your story may be in the well-populated genre of post-apocalyptic survival stories, but that's where the similarities end my friend! Your ability to throw the reader around through twists and turns that cannot be expected by any reader. Again, wonderful story.
Nuke School takes the phrase "In one ear, out the other" to a whole new level. The training goes in one ear, EVERYTHING ELSE goes out the other.

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JediGuy
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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#152 Post by JediGuy »

Wow, a sudden surge of readers and new fans! Is it, like, Fiction-awareness week?

Thanks, to all of you, and to all my still-dedicated readers; again, you don't know how much your words mean to me as I create my own. Chapter 22 is in the works, but I need to stop letting school kick my [censored] and get down to it!

EDIT: That said, while I'm always working on the story, I'm still looking back and trying to figure out what I can do better. I emplore you, the readers, to tell me what needs fixing or what, in your eyes, could be done more effectively and efficitnely. Thanks if you do, thanks if you don't. No worries!
Magic is merely science that we have yet to understand.

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Gekkey Matthews
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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#153 Post by Gekkey Matthews »

Wonderfully terrible plot. emotional and descriptive. but.....

You don't really know anything about how gun's work. have you ever fired an rifle or pistol or shotgun. If you shoot a shotgun without pulling it to you, you can dislocate or bruise your shoulder badly. A .22 rifle has terrible accuracy at ranges over 300 feet. and at distances more than that there is a chance that it will deflect around your skull is not dead on, just giving you a nasty cut. If you do hit head on, it won't come out the other side, but rather bouncce around inside the skull. A a desert eagle is almost impossible to aim with one hand or even hold, and it doesn't come in .45 magnum. There is a .44 magnum and a .45 ACP, but no .45 magnum. The Desert Eagle comes in .357, .44, and .50AE.

So please. If you're going to write a story with guns in it, don't take all your information from screenwriters who have never even seen a gun fire a bullet and game programmers who make the guns fair instead of real.

If anyone knows more about guns than me and can point out any errors, please do so.

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JediGuy
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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#154 Post by JediGuy »

Gekkey Matthews wrote:Wonderfully terrible plot. emotional and descriptive. but.....

You don't really know anything about how gun's work. have you ever fired an rifle or pistol or shotgun. If you shoot a shotgun without pulling it to you, you can dislocate or bruise your shoulder badly. A .22 rifle has terrible accuracy at ranges over 300 feet. and at distances more than that there is a chance that it will deflect around your skull is not dead on, just giving you a nasty cut. If you do hit head on, it won't come out the other side, but rather bouncce around inside the skull. A a desert eagle is almost impossible to aim with one hand or even hold, and it doesn't come in .45 magnum. There is a .44 magnum and a .45 ACP, but no .45 magnum. The Desert Eagle comes in .357, .44, and .50AE.
First, I should note that the .45 Magnum DE was a bit of an inside joke between myself and a few of my RL friends / readers. I continously, purposefully give it that calibur rating to get on their nerves. That said, I had forgotten about it, and I'll go back and get rid of it.

Further, though, I have shot a gun. Several, in fact. I was the firing range director for two years at a summer camp; I've shot shotguns, .22's, AK-47's, a .357 revolver, and an HK USP. I've pegged dimes at 50 feet with a .22, thanks. Not to berate you, of course, but I know how bullets and ballistics work. As for the .22 comments, do you mind me ask where you got that from? I don't remember specifying that any of their weapons were .22's; Malini's rifle is a .30-06.

Next note: Wolf Keidran are physically larger (and, by association, stronger) than a normal human. These, combined with a shotgun designed for humans, and a dabble of creative license for the sake of cool, bring the end result. I do try to be as technically factual as I can be, within the realms of fantasy.

Last note: "Wonderfully Terrible." I hope you mean terrible as in "Dark," and not terrible as in "Bad," because that won't fly.
Magic is merely science that we have yet to understand.

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Gekkey Matthews
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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#155 Post by Gekkey Matthews »

Her personal rifle is a .30-06, or the one she had in the beginning, because in the (third?) chapter her rifle was a .22.

*five minutes later*
you wrote: Chapter 4:

...

Mikhail cleared his throat. "Sniper," he said in a low, gravelly voice, "Take 'em out." Malini opened her mouth, apparently about to retort, but Kathrin made a slight motion with her hand and she closed it. Shrugging, Malini slipped the rifle off her shoulder and began to move a few feet in front of the group. It was an older model, a semi-auto .22 model, with a dulled, stained wooden stock. The barrel, in contrast, seemed jet black, a nice, metallic shine coming off of it. It looked like Malini had gone over it with a magnifying glass and a brush, or something along the lines, because there wasn't a speck of rust on it.
That would make more sense if it was a Garand (I love! that gun. But after 20 rounds it starts to hurt.) My grandpa owns a .50 desert eagle and took me to shoot it. You can't aim it with one hand (I missed the target and broke the wooden stand and hurt my wrist in the pursuit of cool.) You probably have more experience than me with guns, but it was betrayed by mistakes and the choice of popular cool looking guns over the practical old ones.

I did mean terrible as in 'of terror'.

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JediGuy
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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#156 Post by JediGuy »

Gekkey Matthews wrote:Her personal rifle is a .30-06, or the one she had in the beginning, because in the (third?) chapter her rifle was a .22.

*five minutes later*
you wrote:
Ahh, one of the old bits I didn't (yet) go back and correct. Sorry about that. Though, I should have you know, the .22 is reliably accurate when well taken care of. I pegged dimes at 50 feet ;)
Gekky wrote: That would make more sense if it was a Garand (I love! that gun. But after 20 rounds it starts to hurt.) My grandpa owns a .50 desert eagle and took me to shoot it. You can't aim it with one hand (I missed the target and broke the wooden stand and hurt my wrist in the pursuit of cool.) You probably have more experience than me with guns, but it was betrayed by mistakes and the choice of popular cool looking guns over the practical old ones.

I did mean terrible as in 'of terror'.
^^ Thank you. I do try. As for your other suggestions, I'll try to shape up what I can. And, it would probably be the .357 D'Eagle, but I know what you mean. Note in my defense: He's not standing and holding it in one hand, he's laying down (albiet on his back / side) and using the ground to try and stabalize it a bit.

Still, cool writing is cool.
Magic is merely science that we have yet to understand.

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Gekkey Matthews
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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#157 Post by Gekkey Matthews »

I still say that he couldn't do it. (and wouldn't use a desert eagle.) but, it is your story. So I hold no objections. Please carry on writing it.

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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#158 Post by Glitch »

I've read through you stuff and I didn't see many errors. Guess some people read more carefully than me lol. Also, I'm thinking about starting up my fanfic again and was wondering if you would be my test reader when i finally get around to it. I figure you are a good choice because you know almost the entire story. (fanfic idea swaping at 4 am FTW!)

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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#159 Post by JediGuy »

Glitch wrote:I've read through you stuff and I didn't see many errors. Guess some people read more carefully than me lol. Also, I'm thinking about starting up my fanfic again and was wondering if you would be my test reader when i finally get around to it. I figure you are a good choice because you know almost the entire story. (fanfic idea swaping at 4 am FTW!)
You cheeky [censored], it's about time you got onto the Forums! Sure, I'd imagine I can help. You know my email; I helped Fries with his, too, though I'll admit Code: Lyoko is a bit over my head.
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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#160 Post by Glitch »

i'll check it out. I still need to read it >.>

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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#161 Post by Glitch »

ya, 500's are HUGE. my stepdad owns one. he can't even fire it without messing up his hand lol

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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#162 Post by Glitch »

my family refers to it as the portable cannon.

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Re: Twisted Reality - Chapter 21 - 24 / 8 / 10

#163 Post by JediGuy »

Fear not, guys. Chapter 22 is in the works. It's taking a bit longer than I like, due to a combination of factors -- namely, Halo: Reach and school. Gaming only has a...slightly...higher priority than writing >.>

I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their comments as of late; it's great to see fans getitng tinto the story as much as you guys are. And hey, we're wrangling in more forumers to the story! Tell your friends :P

Oh, and, y'know, a little fanservice doesn't hurt either.
Magic is merely science that we have yet to understand.

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Re: Twisted Reality - Small update and Service

#164 Post by Donnellson86 »

That's cool, JediGuy. I completely understand the whole Halo thing. I lack the skills to play it but the books are enough of a distraction for me. I, personally, don't mind the wait. It just makes the stuff that you write that much more epic. To put it into Gamer context: Picture the E3 floor when the Master Chief theme gets played (only not as large obviously, and all inside my head). I believe that concludes this comment. I look forward to the next chapter.
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Re: Twisted Reality - Small update and Service

#165 Post by Glitch »

you haven't had a post for a while my friend, so I will bump ya. Also, first break, you frank jon and I are Legendary CO OPing Reach

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