[FWC 16] 2020

Post all your stories, poems, and haiku's here!

Moderator: Moderators

Post Reply
Message
Author
HugMePlz
Apprentice
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat May 02, 2015 1:58 pm

[FWC 16] 2020

#1 Post by HugMePlz »

2020
By Marley Hughes
Prologue
The year is 2020, the year is where things happen, and the year is when everything changed. Major events that happened in the year included the third world war, the fall of North Korea, and the development of more advanced technology than man has ever created. Thanks to said technology, poverty strickened parts of the world have been able to grow, and many people now have access to certain things they didn't have in decades gone by. Of course, these advanced technologies do not benefit themselves without their mishaps, as seen in this story. The setting is the aforementioned year on December 18, in the bustling city of Newstown, Virginia.
Main Story
"I am going to play a prank on my parents," Philip thought "they will be fooled by it." And so, with a click of a button on his Invisimatic 2000, he disappeared... from appearing of course, though he was still in his bedroom. As he turned invisible, his mother came into his room. "Philip," she said, "it is time for dinner." She looked around, but did not see Philip. "Hmph," she grunted, "I suppose he be with his friends." And she walked down stairs.

Sometime later, Philip's mother came back home in distress. "I cannot find Philip," she exclaimed, "I looked downtown, I looked at the school, I looked at the supermarket, and I looked at the city dump, but I cannot find Philip!" Philip himself was listening to this in amusement. "Where's his Invisimatic?" said Philip's father, who had also been listening to his wife's panic call. Philip was certainly glad he put the setting on his device which assures that it doesn't disappear with him, as he new this would come next from his mom's mouth. "In his bedroom, on the floor," she said, "So there's no way he could've disappeared with that!" Philip was strongly aware that his parents didn't get how the Invisimatic worked. "Well then," spoke Philip's father, "the search begins!" That was all while Philip could enjoy himself from his parents' company.

The search lasted for almost two hours. One hour in, Philip became extremely exhausted from the fun he was having. And then went to sleep without turning himself visible again.

Philip woke up to this conversation in his room. "Well ma'am," someone said "I'll tell you what, this version of the Invisimatic has been forced to be recalled by the manufacturer because of children that decide to leave this certain lever on so that the device does not disappear with them." Philip forgot that he was still invisible, and was alarmed. He tried to snag the device, but was too slow. Suddenly, the person which Philip now recognized as the sheriff aimed the device towards the ground. "Or otherwise at least destroy it." And with that, the sheriff threw Philip's Invisimatic 2000 at the ground, completely breaking the device. The Invisimatic fired bright sparks and glowed the room white. When the room stopped glowing, and when the now broken Invisimatic died out, Philip noticed his lifeless body on his bed. Philip, now with dread, realized that he was dead.

The sheriff, the mother, and the father looked at Philip's corpse with shock. "Or maybe not." the sheriff said with guilt. Philip's mother broke down, and Philip's father comforted her. Philip, now regretting his decision to play this fatal prank, and now permanently invisible, was crying as well. "Well," he said to himself sadly, "that's what you get for living in a technologically advanced year without anyone knowing how to operate these things." His parents and the sheriff weren't listening.

Suddenly, Philip brighted up. "But hey," he thought, "at least in this state, I can steal another Invisimatic without getting caught." And with that, Philip ran out of the house and went into the convenience store close by. There, he noticed trucks consuming unopened packages of Invisimatics. In a dream, he snatched one, and ran back to his house. Back home, he went to his room, lied next to his dead body, and pressed the button to make himself reappear, though this time, the Invisimatic disappeared.

Next morning, he woke up to the door in his room opening. His mom was there, looking at him with shock. She ran to her son and embraced him. Philip was happy, but not in a sad way as he knew that it was only a prank... a terrible prank that he would never repeat ever again.
The End

[NOTICE: ANY SUGGESTED FIXES FOR THIS STORY ARE WELCOME]
Image
Image
Image

i lurk

User avatar
Jarlath
Citizen
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 3:51 pm
Location: Near a loving wife in Canada.
Contact:

Re: [FWC 16] 2020

#2 Post by Jarlath »

Very nice concept and premise for a storyline. I am assuming that it was a dream sequence after he fell asleep on the bed.

I would add one single line near the end as the dream sequences was realized. maybe after "it was only a prank..."
Suggestion:
it was only a prank... Glancing at the Invisimatic on floor; a terrible prank that he would never repeat ever again.
Just my personal opinion, take it for what it is worth.

Post Reply