The Serpent Queen

[TheLoreiConstruct00]

This is a project I've had on my back-burner for quite a while. I'm curious to see if it appeals to anyone here. It is NOT related to Two Kinds in any way, but is just a fantasy style story I wanted to work on. Please enjoy and give whatever feedback or criticism you'd like.

Chapter One: Royal Introductions

My footsteps echo off the marble entranceway of the palace’s foyer. To me, my leather wrapped feet barely make a sound, but it is obvious from the stares I am receiving that I am entirely alone in my opinion. The fact that I appear to be far too underdressed to be allowed in the palace doesn’t help, either. My rather plain-looking tanned leather vest and breeches must make me look more like a beggar than a man of high station.

Soldiers, scholars, and servants alike spare me a look of barely contained contempt before they pass. It is apparent that I am both welcome and unwelcome at the same time. The silver coin medallion around my neck, symbolizing my position as ambassador, is probably the only thing that ensures my safety this far into the palatial quarters.

The long hallway I continue down is flanked by magnificently carved pillars every dozen feet or so, along with a pair of burly guards wielding long-hafted spears. Each set of guards watch my approach with a mix of both disdain and annoyance. Thankfully, they let me pass without incident. Although I overhear one of the last of the guards hissing to the other, “Damn two-legs.”

Dealing with the intolerable is a diplomat’s job, but I can’t help but sigh as I continue further into the palace. Tradition is always one of the hardest things to overcome, and some have more, much more, to overcome than others.

I enter the antechamber to the throne room, adorned with exquisitely detailed murals of victorious battles and benevolent royal figures, and I am greeted by no less than a dozen royal guards. I am, of course, stripped of my steel-headed axe as well as my family’s ceremonial dagger. This is nothing new, but being disarmed does have the appropriate effect. I feel naked and weak without them.

Again, though, it is nothing I have not endured here at the palace before. The Queen wants those who come for an audience to realize just how powerless they are before her. Her sense of drama is as predictable as ever.

Flanked by two pairs of guards armed with menacing-looking sickles, I am brought into the throne room and I cannot help but be amazed yet again as I take in my surroundings. Court functionaries stand along the outskirts of the immense dome-shaped room. Looking up I can see the massive glass ceiling that allows the sun to shine even here, so far underground. Centered in the room, however, bathed in the waning sunlight sits the massive throne that is the true wonder of the chamber.

The couch-like throne is carved from a single, enormous chunk of golden oak, brought here ages ago from the long-dead Muross Forest. It is wider than it is tall, to accommodate serpent anatomy, and cushioned with some of the finest cloth available; and that cloth is dyed the deep, crimson red that symbolizes royal power. Adjoining the throne are large curtains of purple silk, a rare and lavish material for any ruler. And in the ruddy sunlight filtering down from the distant glass ceiling the throne seems to glow.

However, it is not just the throne that seems to glow, but the figure atop it as well. The Queen is the embodiment of authority and power to her people. Crimson red scales cover her from head to tail, while black and gold circles pattern her back. The scales on her neck and chest are as golden as the ornate jewelry of her crown and necklace. An emerald, that matches the color of her eyes almost perfectly, the size and shape of a predator’s canine tooth sits atop a solid gold ring on her right hand.

I stop within a handful of paces from the throne to kneel and bow my head before the Queen and utter my formal greeting, “Greetings to her Majesty, Queen Loresh’k of Serkenna, from the free city of Dalai. I, Ambassador Tal Vosseen, have returned to your great city this day bearing important news from Lord Governor Acuma.”

My greeting is met with silence.

For a fleeting moment I entertain the thought of looking to see if the Queen has even heard me. But then I remember that I would like my head to stay attached to my body. And another moment passes in silence before I hear a powerful exhale. A puff of smoke washes over me and I have to try hard not to cough on it. As the smoke lingers about my head, I hear a dark, melodious voice speak, “Rise, Sir Tal.”

I do as I am told. I rise to stand before the Queen, and as I do I can see the slender tube of a hookah pipe held between her delicately manicured fingers. Atop a wooden stand, also carved from a single piece of golden oak, sits a gold and silver hookah and a tall, slender bottle of red wine. A half-empty glass with a gold rim sits next to the bottle.

“It has been quite some time since your last visit, Sir Tal, it saddens me that only grave news brings you back to my city this day,” the Queen says as she lifts the pipe to her lips and takes another long pull. Again, she exhales the smoke in my direction, and I catch a cool hint of fresh-cut mint as the smoke envelopes me.

I bow my head, as much in acquiescence as to escape the smoke, “It is true, Your Majesty, it has been several years since the last time I saw Serkenna. I must admit to a sense of wonder each time I visit, however, as there is always something new and wondrous to behold in your city, Your Grace.”

The Queen smiles, her emerald eyes flashing, but she seems to wave the courtesy away with a flick of her wrist. “Yes, yes, Sir Tal, your skill at flattery remains as poetic as ever. Now, my little one, tell me what grave news the Lord Governor wishes me to know since you have traveled so far to deliver it in person.”

She reaches for her wine glass as I clear my throat, “Your Majesty, as you know the wolves on the eastern fringe of your territory have become…unruly as of late. We in Dalai have heard of attacks along your border, attacks that have not gone well for many of your frontier villages.”

The throne room is silent once more as the Queen sips her wine and stares at me with those sharp, green eyes. She places the glass down very deliberately before saying, “You have heard correctly, Sir Tal, as the saying goes: the wolves are at the door. And as such, I have dispatched forces to deal with any further incursions, and I do not expect to hear about this little problem again.”

It is obvious to me that she’s telling me what I want to hear, and it is just as obvious she doesn’t know what I know.

I smile and say, “That would, of course, be enough to deal with the small border skirmishes that you have been experiencing.” The Queen nods her head as she reaches for her wine glass again as I continue, “However, it is not small skirmishes that you will be facing but an all-out war, Your Grace.”

Her hand stops just shy of her glass. “What,” she hisses as her head slowly turns toward me, “did you just say?”

I take a deep breath before answering and I turn on my heel. I have this terrible habit of pacing that only comes out when things become deadly serious. “Several weeks ago after we heard of the … incidents along your border, the Council at Dalai decided to investigate the matter discreetly using our contacts within the wolves’ Headmen.” I turn again quickly on my heel, “From that we learned that the wolves attacking your border belong to the three largest wolf clans, all of which have openly defied the Headmen’s orders to leave your land in peace.”

I spin on my heel and continue pacing, “These clans make up nearly half of the total estimated wolf population, and it appears that they are out for both blood and land, Your Majesty. Your land. They seek to renew the hostilities that the free cities worked so hard to end two centuries ago.” I stop and face the Queen again, “You are right, the wolves are indeed at your door. But you are not alone. The free city of Dalai is prepared to stand with you, Your Majesty, that is, if you would have us.”

For a moment the Queen eyes me with curiosity before refilling her wine glass and saying, “And what, Sir Tal, would the Free City of Dalai be able to offer in support? Your soldiers protect the city and, unlike a kingdom such as my own, you do not have enough to both send to war and defend your own walls. Your steel may be of the finest craftsmanship I have ever known, but you cannot possibly produce enough to supply our war effort.” She sits back into her throne sipping at her wine before continuing, “So, I would very much like to hear your Lord Governor’s proposal. If he is half the capable leader that he is rumored to be, then perhaps I just might be in luck.”

Again, I bow my head in acquiescence, “You are correct that Dalai would not be able to commit soldiers to battle, nor would it be able to supply your entire army with weapons and armor. Both would be ruinous to Dalai. Stripping it of proper defenses, while it sits so close to the wolves’ territory would be an invitation to disaster. While not equipped for sieges of walled cities, the sheer volume of wolves would overrun any defense we could mount in the absence of our soldiers.” I raise my hands palms up as I say, “And turning over all of our steel production to your war would bring Dalai to its knees economically. While I am sure that your kingdom could pay for a large amount of steel, I doubt it could do so for long enough to end the conflict before it would become difficult to pay. And we have depended on our steel trade for centuries; an interruption on this scale would empty our treasury within a very short period of time.”

“But,” I say, raising a hand, before the Queen can interrupt, “there is a way to damage the wolves’ ability to wage war without Dalai openly entering into the hostilities.” I turn and begin to pace again, “To be brutally honest, the wolves are warriors almost without peer. For centuries before the free cities became involved their aggression was problematic, inter-tribal warfare ravaged the wolves’ population while deadly raids against neighboring territories were commonplace. After the first Free Cities helped to bring together the wolves’ tribal chiefs into a loose governing body, there was finally an entity with which to negotiate. The resulting, relative, peace is mostly because all of the Free Cities agreed to limit the number of weapons sold to the wolf tribes. Although, I doubt you knew that, Your Grace, we have kept our intentions on the matter rather secretive. And this brings me to the proposal given to me by my Lord Governor, to deliver to you: Dalai, and the other Free Cities, will cease all weapon sales with the wolf tribes until they respect the peace laid down in the Tribal Armistice. Dalai will also serve as a neutral agent for negotiations and will continue to advocate for peace with the Headmen. The only condition the Lord Governor has stipulated is that if the wolves should attempt to take Dalai, Your Majesty’s forces would come to our aid.”

The Queen seems deep in thought as my voice echoes into silence. Her left hand idly traces the emerald on her right hand as she finally speaks, “That would place some severe restrictions on the wolves’ ability to fight, which is unless they decide to attempt to take Dalai and the other Free Cities. But I’m sure the Lord Governor already has a plan for that, clever man that he is. For the moment, however, I am pleased that he is willing to come to my support and I am tempted to agree to his terms. Unfortunately, I cannot agree to his proposal at the moment. I will need to consult with my war council before I can give a proper reply. You understand of course, Sir Tal?”

I bow my head quickly, “Of course, Your Grace, the Lord Governor would not wish you to rush to a decision. If that is the case, then with your leave, my Queen, I will find an inn on the surface for the night while you come to a decision. If I recall correctly, the Golden Fang has accommodations for two-legged travelers such as myself.”

Before I can turn to leave, the queen’s light laughter fills the room.

“Sir Tal,” the queen says around a gentle-looking smile, “what kind of host would I be if I could not find a room for a respected diplomat such as you? We will find you a room, something suited to both your status and your special needs.”

With that, the queen uncoils her long, serpentine body from the throne and makes her way towards me. I bow as low as I can, knowing the queen is judging my every move, and quickly say, “That is most gracious of you, Your Grace, and quite welcome. Two weeks’ nonstop riding does take its toll on you.”

A slender finger slides under my chin, pulling my head up to face the queen. For a moment, I am lost in emerald eyes that glow with power and absolute control. Just like U’laan. The thought comes and goes so quickly that I can’t be sure it was there before the queen’s voice breaks the spell.

“Come, my little one, let us find you that room,” the queen says as she begins gliding away down a corridor to my left. I walk at the queen’s elbow, still a little dazed, while a pair of guards follow a few paces behind us. The hallway is rough-hewn sandstone with an arched ceiling. Torchlight catches on gold-plated bricks in the floor that form intricate patterns.

“I have an ulterior motive for having you spend the night here at the palace,” the queen says as she glances sidelong at me, “if U’laan had found out that I forced you to sleep on the surface she would have never let me hear the end of it.”

I can’t help but laugh, “Oh, and why is that so, Your Grace?”

“She still wears the bracelets you gave her for her twentieth birthday, you know the ones. U’laan simply refuses to wear anything else. She’ll stare into them and claim that she can see traces of fire in the liquid emerald engraving. It’s almost as if,” the queen looks at me out of the corner of her eye, “you knew exactly what to get her.”

I would never admit it to Her Majesty but I spent weeks searching for the perfect gift, but nothing seemed to fit the profile my agent in Serkenna had sent me of the princess. While any old trinket would make a fine gift, fawned over during the course of the visit and then discarded afterward, I wanted something more permanent. Fortunately for me, an old rodent prospector from Almas came peddling his gems, which had included a number of liquid emeralds, just a day before I was set to leave.

Mystics have always said that liquid emerald, a rare type of emerald that can be molded and shaped like metal, is a conduit to the ethereal. I personally, do not place much stock in the ethereal, but the princess was obsessed. If my informant was correct, and the princess claimed to have some mystic power, then nothing could be more appropriate. It cost me more than I’d like to admit to have the golden wristbands inlaid with the expensive gem, but it was worth it to find something that impressed the princess so much.

“Well, what twenty year-old girl wouldn’t appreciate gold bracelets inlaid with fine gems? Besides,” I say with not a little satisfaction, “Your Highness is still wearing the emerald ring I brought as a gift during my first visit to Serkenna.”

The queen holds her hand up as we round a corner and the ring’s tooth-shaped emerald catches the torchlight perfectly. I still remember picking it out from a selection of jewels brought to me by a fox merchant years ago. The original rough stone had cost a small fortune, but it was the perfect size for the cut I wanted, everyone knew how much the queen hated the wolves and a ring that looked like an emerald tooth, pried from a wolf in her mind, would no doubt please her. Still, I would never have imagined the queen wearing it after all these years, or perhaps she is just wearing it today because I am here?

Before I can ask, we stop before a large oak door embroidered with the Queen’s sigil in silver filigree. “Here is your room, Sir Tal, something you should find suited to your status,” the Queen says as a guard opens the heavy door revealing a room large enough to be a small home. “Be sure to get a good night’s rest. I’m sure we’ll have much to discuss tomorrow. Until then, little one.” She turns to go and I bid her goodnight and bow, she smiles over her shoulder as she leaves.

I close the door behind me as I enter what can only be described as an expansive stateroom. The center of room is dominated by an elaborately carved wooden table nestled just close enough to a wide fireplace to be comfortable. There is already a fire burning, warming the otherwise chilly room. Rather than having a separate bedchamber, as most rooms would, this stateroom follows traditional serpent design. Meaning the bed is not in an adjoining chamber but sits in the corner of the room and is much lower to the ground than normal.

It doesn’t take long to find my bags, the ones I left with the guards outside the palace, placed neatly beside the hearth. So the Queen planned to have me stay the night all along. I didn’t bring much beyond a few changes of clothes and a few odds and ends, so I don’t bother unpacking.

Just as I finish checking my belongings there is a light knock on the door. Unlatching it, I open it to the sight of a small, perfectly white young serpent bearing a tray of food and tea. She curtseys quickly but gracefully as I open the door, balancing the tray perfectly as she does so, “Milord Tal, the queen sends her apologies that you came too late for dinner, but bid me to bring you something to eat and drink.”

I step away from the door and invite her into the room. She thanks me quietly and glides into the room and swiftly places the tray on the table.

There is a soft clink of fine ceramic as the girl pours the steaming tea into a tall cup, then she sets the table. There is warm bread with spiced meat, candied fruit slices, and wheat crackers for the tea.

I can hardly keep from drooling over the food as the servant girl sets it out on white and blue ceramic plates. As she finishes, I stand next to her and say, “Thank you for the food, I’ve been on the road and it’s been quite a while since the last time I had a good meal.”

She smiles briefly but glances nervously at the floor as she pulls the now-empty tray off the table and holds it to her chest. “Your lordship is most welcome, but the meal is from the queen, not from me,” she says as she bows and makes for the door.

“Wait,” I say as she reaches for the door, “I can’t possibly eat all this food. Please, sit, help me eat some of this. I give you my word not to keep you long enough to get you in trouble." I try to sound as inviting as I can because it is obvious that she is nervous. “I've never liked eating alone, and the time spent on the road has left me wanting for good company.”

The servant girl looks absolutely at a loss for words. I can see her picking imaginary food bits from the platter as she holds it against her chest, “I-if that is what milord wishes, then I suppose I can stay for a bit before the mistress misses me.” She glides over to the table and coils herself into the seat, still looking nervous.

I chuckle lightly and she glances up at me, surprised. “You don’t have to keep calling me milord, I’m not actually a lord of anything. They only call me that because it is much easier to say than High Ambassador Tal Vosseen. If anything, you may call me Tal, I’m not much for formality when I’m not on dealing with royalty. It is easier to say, and suits me better than some noble title. But what,” I ask with my most endearing smile, “is your name, young one?”

“My name is Driss, milo-,” she says before stopping mid-word, “Driss is my name . . . Tal.” She replies sheepishly, almost as if calling me by my name was unthinkable.

I bow my head lightly as I say, “It is a pleasure to meet you, young Driss.” She glances at me shyly as she folds her hands in her lap and as she awkwardly responds in kind. “How long have been working here at the palace?” I ask, hoping to draw her out and get her to talk more as I sip at my tea.

“I’ve been working here at the palace since I was eight,” she responds, “I started as a dishwasher and cook’s assistant.” She smiles, as if remembering something fondly, but the smile fades quickly. “That was eleven years ago, when my old master sold me to the palace’s head of staff.”

For a moment, for just a heartbeat, I’m sure I heard wrong. But a quick glance to her tail, lying beside her chair, tells me otherwise. I mentally curse my inattention as I place the cup back on the table. There’s no excuse for this kind of mistake.

The serpents are the only people to actively continue the practice of slavery. A thousand years ago, when the serpent empire was three times as large as it is now, it was a necessity to keep the empire functioning. But over time as the empire slowly began to shrink, the serpents’ slaves were liberated, leaving only the few remaining in what is now the serpent kingdom of Khons. Suddenly, the only slaves the serpents had were those among their own race, not as if that would stop them from continuing that tradition.

The derogatory nickname for slaves, ‘fork-tails,’ isn’t actually just a nickname. Since tattooing and branding doesn’t work on serpents, as they molt every few years, slavers needed a way to tell slaves apart from regular citizens. What the slavers decided to do was as unique as it was horrific. Slaves would have their tails split down the middle to the first bone in the tail. It allowed for easy recognition at a distance and, most importantly, it could never truly be undone.

Driss’ tail was split to the first bone, and it was something I should have noticed as soon as she came into the room. “Forgive me, Driss, sometimes I forget where I am and the customs that come with that. I should have noticed and kept from saying such an insensitive thing.”

The young serpent smiled nervously, “It’s not as bad as one might think. The Queen is very kind to her servants, she’s only ever harsh if you do something to offend her or if you steal,” Driss suddenly looks me in the eye and says excitedly, “Not too long ago the queen told me that she was very pleased with my work and that she was glad she chose me that day all those years ago.”

Suddenly the serpent girl looks very young as she quietly says, “That was the happiest moment of my life.”

For just a moment she looks like any other young girl, any other serpent girl at least, and not some poor slave girl. A part of me wants to console her, to try to tell her that she doesn't have to always be a slave, to tell her that she can be something greater. But I can't. Not in this city, not in this kingdom. Instead I smile back at her and tell her that she should be proud.

By now I've made short work of the tea that Driss brought, as well as the bread and spice meat. Driss has barely touched hers, but I understand her reluctance to eat the food she brought for me from the queen. All of a suddenly I'm feeling very tired, the long journey mixed with the warm tea and fresh food has relaxed me to the point of exhaustion.

Apparently my exhaustion is evident on my face. Driss glides out of the chair and to my side saying, “Are you alright, milord? You look positively weary.”

For just a moment I don't think I'm going to be able to answer her due to my tiredness. I find enough strength to respond, “I believe that it might be time for me . . . to rest for the night, it has been a long and tiring journey from Dalai. I could do with . . . a full night's rest right about now.” I tried to get out of my seat but find that my legs cannot seem to hold my weight. Driss is suddenly at my side with an arm ready to help me to the bed. I barely managed to mumble my thanks as I collapse onto the soft cotton covers.

Driss’ face hovers close to my own for a brief moment before her lips brush against mine lightly. After a moment she presses harder, her forked tongue pressing into my mouth. Abruptly she breaks off the kiss and pulls her head back looking intently into my eyes. She is saying something quietly, a harsh whisper, but I can’t make it out. Despite the sudden passion of the kiss I still can't seem to keep my eyes open. The last thing I see is my eyes close slowly are the young serpent girl's hands unbuttoning my tunic.

[Dadrobit]

Well, that took a turn that the end. Overall a fun story.

Not gonna lie, it took me a around a full half of the story to figure out what felt so "wrong" with your storytelling that kept me asking, "why does this sound odd?"

Then I realized, "Ah, first person present tense, that's why." Not saying it's bad, just jarring when I didn't expect it, I had to re-read it after I realized what was going on. My internal film noir detective monologue voice kicked in and it was smooth sailing from there.

As for a teeny bit of critique, (and perhaps this may just be me) take a look at:

"Looking up I can see the massive glass ceiling that allows the sun to shine even here, so far underground. Centered in the room, however, bathed in the waning sunlight sits the massive throne that dominates the chamber."

The use of "however" indicates that something in the current statement is contradicting something mentioned just previously. I believe it was your intention here that it contradicts the "so far underground" bit, but as the justification for the sunlight shining was already stated in the same sentence, your use of "however" in the next feels a bit awkward. Perhaps restate the improbable location in your contradictory sentence, something along the lines of: "And so/Thusly, despite its subterranean nature, centered in the room and bathing in the waning sunlight..."

[TheLoreiConstruct00]

Thanks for that, I've changed the line to match a little more appropriately

[Phaing]

Well, that was different!

Could I get a more explicit description of what a Serpent is? I may be dense, but at first I thought it was a Dragon Kingdom, but now its more like Yuan-Ti.

Good stuff, a heroic Dimpolmat surrounded by some very strange folk, will you continue?

[TheLoreiConstruct00]

I have most of the second chapter written already, but I must admit I did kind of lose my steam on the project a while back. I'd love to try to give it a go again, maybe I can get the ol' creative juices flowing again.

Aaaand this is the picture that inspired the story, shows what the serpents look like.

Spoiler!