Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (COMPLETE)

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Favorite story? (re-voting open)

Entertaining Possibilities
0
No votes
Two of a Kind
1
33%
Full House
1
33%
Dead of Night
0
No votes
Castling
0
No votes
Fool's Mate
1
33%
About That Apron
0
No votes
Adult Humor
0
No votes
The Day Before Her Birthday
0
No votes
 
Total votes: 3

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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW]

#31 Post by avwolf »

amenon wrote:
avwolf wrote:[...], but Dead of Night is very good. It's just the cure if you've been feeling simply too happy lately. Very powerful work. I feel like it was important to be written, now that I've read it, but I guarantee you, I'd never ever have been able to write anything like it myself. It just...Gets you right here. Thanks, amenon.
So I've been turning this around in my head. I understand why you would not have written Entertaining Possibilities, as you said back in the day -- possibly also could not have, in the sense that the story was probably in a blind spot for you -- but why would you "never ever have been able to write anything like [Dead of Night]"?
Writing an ending? I struggle writing endings to vignettes, let alone writing an ending to someone's story. Dead of Night is a wonderful, heart-breaking, beautiful, tear-jerking ending. I loved it, but I could never have written it. Some characters you know how their story ends; and that ending is a part of the story. I think I could do that. But the character in question is not that kind of a character. Their ending is not just a natural progression of their story -- their life doesn't need to be completed by their death, I guess you could say. (Filing off identifying remarks so as not to ruin too much.) I will give you that it is a weakness for me, and something I should probably try to fix, but I could not have written it, let alone made it so poignant.
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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#32 Post by TheMouse »

I find it a little silly that there was worry about "outing" me. Yes, beta reader and you write fun stuff.
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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW]

#33 Post by amenon »

avwolf wrote:Writing an ending? I struggle writing endings to vignettes, let alone writing an ending to someone's story.
But it isn't the end to their story, because the story is being told wildly out of order. There's only one tone, one sort of feeling, one kind of thought, that the EP sequence as a whole -- or their story -- can end on, and this most assuredly isn't it. That, still remains to be written. And Dead of Night isn't even the chronologically last piece, because I already did Two of a Kind. (The continuity may be different, but that doesn't necessarily mean that ToaK and DoN have no relevance to each other.)

Granted, it is an ending, but... what does Dead of Night really tell you? Why is it still an amenon story? Or is it?
TheMouse wrote:I find it a little silly that there was worry about "outing" me. Yes, beta reader and you write fun stuff.
Well, in the general case, I'm trying completely shamelessly to get people to post here. And see, it worked once already :grin: (That's 2/5 of my beta readers; avwolf was the only one with the first draft -- and I wonder if he's read the final, hmm? Hmm? -- and you were one of two people with the third (and unless I did some line edits I forgot about, final.))

In your case specifically: Trust is a bit of a departure, and I reached out to you for reasons completely unrelated to any of my previous writing, so it would have been downright unseemly for me to namedrop you and thus imply that I have your readership in general.

Though if I do, I could totally use more cover quotes for (Knot) Too Late :P
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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#34 Post by Jonesy »

As promised, I've had a read of the stories. Been a while since I read the original, but I think I've still got the gist of it.

Too Late did a good job of setting an atmosphere of melancholy and lost love. There were a few things that seemingly happened between it and the original that didn't completely sink in on the initial read-through, though. And it did seem to end before the romantic conclusion I was expecting. But otherwise, it was pretty good. Really felt like Keith and Nick were two old friends dealing with unresolved romantic tension.

Full House I enjoyed more. Introduced me to some ships I never thought possible ( :natani: and :Maddie:? Who knew.). Something did seem a little off about Maddie's characterization early on, but I put that down to her growing out of some of her comic-era silliness (though once she and Natani got together, she seemed a bit more like the Maddie we know and love). The story was also much longer than I expected, and kept going long after I thought it would finish. The scene with Zen and Natani's link flooding with feelings seemed like the sort of thing you'd use in the, for lack of a better term, climax. But other than that, I found the various relationships fairly believable, or at least moreso than they might appear at face-value. I think I also enjoyed the tone a lot more than Too Late, what with it being more lighthearted and less sorrowful. That, and the sheer amount of polyamory going on under one roof was kind of amusing in its own right.

Now, I must try and think up some comparable stories based on H&L...

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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#35 Post by Cyon »

Jonesy wrote:As promised, I've had a read of the stories.
Welp, it's 2am so I guess I should get in on this too...
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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#36 Post by amenon »

(Let the record show that I have no dirt on Cyon; they seem to have wandered in by themselves :P)
Cyon wrote:Welp, it's 2am so I guess I should get in on this too...
So how'd you get along? There's a few pretty good hurdles in there for the unwary reader :grin:

Jonesy wrote:As promised, I've had a read of the stories. Been a while since I read the original, but I think I've still got the gist of it.
Thank you!

... and now that you've done the heavy lifting, there's also two SFW short stories near the end of the second page of this thread: EP #4, Dead of Night -- which may or may not actually make it into the final volume. It may actually be too deadly to publish -- and Trust, a cute, contemporary piece to rekindle your will to live after the previous.

You know, in case you can still handle more :P
Jonesy wrote:Too Late did a good job of setting an atmosphere of melancholy and lost love. There were a few things that seemingly happened between it and the original that didn't completely sink in on the initial read-through, though.
What sort of things are you thinking of?
Jonesy wrote:And it did seem to end before the romantic conclusion I was expecting. But otherwise, it was pretty good. Really felt like Keith and Nick were two old friends dealing with unresolved romantic tension.
So you felt it should have had something more definitive? (I would have said explicit, but that might be misunderstood in this context :P) Do you have an ending in mind?
Jonesy wrote:Full House I enjoyed more. Introduced me to some ships I never thought possible ( :natani: and :Maddie:? Who knew.).
It's the Higgs Boson of Twokinds slash; long theorized, but the technology to perform experimental verification just wasn't there :P
Jonesy wrote:Something did seem a little off about Maddie's characterization early on, but I put that down to her growing out of some of her comic-era silliness (though once she and Natani got together, she seemed a bit more like the Maddie we know and love).
What, if anything, did you make of Maddie and Zen?
Jonesy wrote:The story was also much longer than I expected, and kept going long after I thought it would finish.
Overstayed its welcome, then? I did say to drop it if you felt like it, but I suppose at that point there'd be quite a bit of inertia to just be finished with it.
Jonesy wrote:The scene with Zen and Natani's link flooding with feelings seemed like the sort of thing you'd use in the, for lack of a better term, climax.
It was the climax, so to speak :grin: Followed by falling action, followed by denouement -- which is actually a pretty glorious pun, in context -- followed by the ending. If you would've been happy with the story stopping at the climax, then I think I must've already failed you much earlier. By that point, there should be so much buyin that the end is essentially free.

Hmm. This isn't exactly your usual fare, right? Was it uncomfortable to read? Do you think you would've felt differently if it was PG? (Mentally replace all the sex with particularly clever Parcheesi. Or maybe Calvinball :P)
Jonesy wrote:I think I also enjoyed the tone a lot more than Too Late, what with it being more lighthearted and less sorrowful. That, and the sheer amount of polyamory going on under one roof was kind of amusing in its own right.
Well, the title isn't just one half of a poker pun :grin:
Jonesy wrote:Now, I must try and think up some comparable stories based on H&L...
H&L, the next generation? :grin: I'm a little sad that I never figured out how Kasamine part 3 should have gone...
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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#37 Post by Cyon »

amenon wrote:(Let the record show that I have no dirt on Cyon; they seem to have wandered in by themselves :P)
Cyon wrote:Welp, it's 2am so I guess I should get in on this too...
So how'd you get along? There's a few pretty good hurdles in there for the unwary reader :grin:
Well judging by the title I was pretty wary of what this was about when I started reading. I've only looked at your first story so far, but let's just say that avwolf's cover endorsement was accurate...
Hands down the best-written fanfiction I've ever read, will definitely read some of your other works (just found out about "Dead of Night" and "Trust", so those are next on the list). It took some unexpected turns which honestly made it harder to follow, especially after Natani and Zen swapped, but you really managed to capture the essence of the moment. I'm not one to judge writing styles much in a good story so I don't have any advice, but keep it up!
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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#38 Post by Jonesy »

amenon wrote:
Jonesy wrote:As promised, I've had a read of the stories. Been a while since I read the original, but I think I've still got the gist of it.
Thank you!

... and now that you've done the heavy lifting, there's also two SFW short stories near the end of the second page of this thread: EP #4, Dead of Night -- which may or may not actually make it into the final volume. It may actually be too deadly to publish -- and Trust, a cute, contemporary piece to rekindle your will to live after the previous.

You know, in case you can still handle more :P
I'll try and check it out sometime. I promised myself this year I'd spend more time reading and writing, but I'm not doing terribly well with that already.
amenon wrote:
Jonesy wrote:Too Late did a good job of setting an atmosphere of melancholy and lost love. There were a few things that seemingly happened between it and the original that didn't completely sink in on the initial read-through, though.
What sort of things are you thinking of?
Mostly what's the deal with the various other characters by the time the events take place. Maddie gets talked about, and I assumed Natani and Zen died of old age, but I don't recall much else about the rest of the cast (except Kat, who's apparently a playwright now, according to the second story). But there was a bit that said Keith was ordered to kill Natani, and that really threw me a bit, and I thought Keith might have actually killed her. Then I remembered it was an event from the comic.
amenon wrote:
Jonesy wrote:And it did seem to end before the romantic conclusion I was expecting. But otherwise, it was pretty good. Really felt like Keith and Nick were two old friends dealing with unresolved romantic tension.
So you felt it should have had something more definitive? (I would have said explicit, but that might be misunderstood in this context :P) Do you have an ending in mind?
I thought they were going to go all the way, but they didn't get quite that far. That's not to say what happened was 'incorrect', but that was just my assumption.
amenon wrote:
Jonesy wrote:Something did seem a little off about Maddie's characterization early on, but I put that down to her growing out of some of her comic-era silliness (though once she and Natani got together, she seemed a bit more like the Maddie we know and love).
What, if anything, did you make of Maddie and Zen?
As characters, I thought they were fine, aside from the initial uncertainty with Maddie. As a couple, I can see it working, given that they're both playful when they want to be.
amenon wrote:
Jonesy wrote:The story was also much longer than I expected, and kept going long after I thought it would finish.
Overstayed its welcome, then? I did say to drop it if you felt like it, but I suppose at that point there'd be quite a bit of inertia to just be finished with it.
I don't think it overstayed its welcome, as such. It just went on longer than I expected after the... 'climax'.
amenon wrote:
Jonesy wrote:The scene with Zen and Natani's link flooding with feelings seemed like the sort of thing you'd use in the, for lack of a better term, climax.
It was the climax, so to speak :grin: Followed by falling action, followed by denouement -- which is actually a pretty glorious pun, in context -- followed by the ending. If you would've been happy with the story stopping at the climax, then I think I must've already failed you much earlier. By that point, there should be so much buyin that the end is essentially free.

Hmm. This isn't exactly your usual fare, right? Was it uncomfortable to read? Do you think you would've felt differently if it was PG? (Mentally replace all the sex with particularly clever Parcheesi. Or maybe Calvinball :P)
I did want to see where it was going, and I assumed it'd keep going for a while after the climax. But there was a point or two where I thought "Is this actually drawing to a close, or are we still going?"

And while it's not the sort of thing I read frequently, it's not completely alien. I wouldn't say it made me terribly uncomfortable. Content-wise, it's small potatoes next to Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons. That got nasty at times (not to mention being about 1.6 million words longer than Full House), but I persevered and was duly rewarded.
amenon wrote:
Jonesy wrote:Now, I must try and think up some comparable stories based on H&L...
H&L, the next generation? :grin: I'm a little sad that I never figured out how Kasamine part 3 should have gone...
If it's any consolation, it's inspired me to make a prequel detailing Jessamine and Kasa's relationship, as they become more and more intimate with each increasingly loathable suitor she has to deal with. I've got a good idea of how the basic framework would work out, but it's going on the backburner until H&L is finished and made publishable.

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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#39 Post by amenon »

Cyon wrote:Well judging by the title I was pretty wary of what this was about when I started reading. I've only looked at your first story so far, but let's just say that avwolf's cover endorsement was accurate...
I love how he worded that thing :grin: Delightfully avwolvian. If you haven't yet, you should check out his story, Desire for Orders. (It's utterly glorious, and so, so worth it.) Then, you should send him a PM and tell him what you thought. That'll draw him back to the forums, and make him suspicious; he might check this thread, and see this, and be amused, and then remember there's still an open question for him upthread. And if I got really lucky, he might pick up on something one of you has said, and if all the stars aligned, actual discussion that doesn't directly involve me might actually occur :P (And yes, this is how long my shots have gotten.)

I'm really glad you liked it! These are written to be read, so it's really nice when someone does, and even better when they enjoy it ^^
Cyon wrote:Hands down the best-written fanfiction I've ever read, will definitely read some of your other works (just found out about "Dead of Night" and "Trust", so those are next on the list).
Not knowing how much fanfiction you read, I will choose to take that as a compliment :grin:

Dead of Night won't work unless you've read Full House, but Trust is totally fair game whenever.

Actually, let me list the stories, since I've made it very unnecessarily complicated for the sake of a joke that was originally supposed to be temporary.
So! We have:
  • Entertaining Possibilities (2nd edition). The original story. 17k words. In its own book. Nice and tidy.
  • "Two of a Kind". One of two alternative sequels to the first story. 10k words. The first of two stories in (Knot) Too Late
  • "Full House". One of two alternative sequels to the first story. 53k words. The second of two stories in (Knot) Too Late
  • Dead of Night. The fourth story in the sequence. Could end up cut, but probably won't.
  • Story #5, currently being worked on.
  • Story #6, currently being worked on.
(If you don't like sad stories, it's okay to skip "Two of a Kind", and it's recommended to skip Dead of Night. But I didn't write them for nothing, so...)

And then, we have Trust, which doesn't really have anything to do with any of the others, and is set any moment now in the comic. (Meaning, for posterity, 'after Chapter 18.') It's a cute little story ^^
Cyon wrote:It took some unexpected turns which honestly made it harder to follow, especially after Natani and Zen swapped, but you really managed to capture the essence of the moment.
That'd be two of the hurdles I mentioned :grin: But as far as the clarity one is concerned, that section is the most confusing my writing gets. So if you made it through there, you should be okay on that front! I may eventually bite the bullet and do a third edition of EP, to fix some more of the readability issues, but I'm concerned that the problems are pretty deeply connected to the feel of the story. And since the story has already been released, I don't really want to change it out from under people. If someone comes back to it later, it should still be what they remember.

Hmm... I probably will give it one final round of fixes, though. It is the first story, and I'm asking people to read a lot, so it should be representative. Going to be tricky though.
Cyon wrote:I'm not one to judge writing styles much in a good story so I don't have any advice, but keep it up!
Oh, Jonesy is a bit of a special case in that respect. He's mostly here because I pretty much called in the favor from helping him with his story, Human & Lupusad. (Can't miss it; second biggest thing on the forums, after avwolf's Bleak Streets. If you give H&L a chance, give it a few chapters; the beginning is rough, but as I recall it gets better pretty quickly. It's no small thing, though; 29 chapters and 190k words, as of this.) So if Jonesy's presence here feels a little like I've got a gun to his head, that'd be why :P

All kinds of reader reactions are really useful, so really, pretty much anything you can think of to say about the stories, or what reading them was like, is very much appreciated! There's so, so much I'm still guessing about, since people aren't exactly going around writing book reviews or arguing things out :grin:

Oh, and thank you for reading, and please fill out the poll at the top if you haven't. You can always amend it later if you read more.


Jonesy wrote:I'll try and check it out sometime. I promised myself this year I'd spend more time reading and writing, but I'm not doing terribly well with that already.
Very well; you are free to go. Thanks for reading :P
Jonesy wrote:(except Kat, who's apparently a playwright now, according to the second story).
Ahhhh. See, Kat as a playwright is a really, really good idea, but it's not actually what she is up to in this continuity. (And this is a very fine demonstration on the usefulness of beta readers and reader reactions!)
Jonesy wrote:But there was a bit that said Keith was ordered to kill Natani, and that really threw me a bit, and I thought Keith might have actually killed her. Then I remembered it was an event from the comic.
There's a pretty easy case to be made for writing these stories to be more easily approachable. Perhaps even to the point where they'd be accessible to someone who isn't really even familiar with the comic. (Though how they'd come across such a thing...) And taking that approach would, of course, also help with things like this.

But my intuition always says no. The way I'd verbalize it is that I don't want to be telling people what the characters look like, or what the events of canon were, because that gives them room to flat-out disagree. If I start by assuming that the reader is very conversant in Twokinds (my ultimate, prototypical target audience is avwolf, for heaven's sake :P), then it's much better to let them keep their own interpretations and context as much as possible, rather than impose my own.

(Ironically, I'm pretty sure avwolf would appreciate my reasoning, but still ultimately disagree with my approach :P)

Of course, it also plays into my preferred style of storytelling, but that's something I don't really want to go any further on record about. The more I explain about what I'm doing, the less hope I have of unbiased reader reactions in the future.
Jonesy wrote:I thought they were going to go all the way, but they didn't get quite that far. That's not to say what happened was 'incorrect', but that was just my assumption.
What, you were expecting me to write smut? How dare you, good sir :P
Jonesy wrote:I did want to see where it was going, and I assumed it'd keep going for a while after the climax. But there was a point or two where I thought "Is this actually drawing to a close, or are we still going?"
Do you remember what those points were?
Jonesy wrote:If it's any consolation, it's inspired me to make a prequel detailing Jessamine and Kasa's relationship, as they become more and more intimate with each increasingly loathable suitor she has to deal with. I've got a good idea of how the basic framework would work out, but it's going on the backburner until H&L is finished and made publishable.
Consolation? That's the grand prize! I would love to read that story :grin:
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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#40 Post by Cyon »

amenon wrote:
Cyon wrote:Well judging by the title I was pretty wary of what this was about when I started reading. I've only looked at your first story so far, but let's just say that avwolf's cover endorsement was accurate...
I love how he worded that thing :grin: Delightfully avwolvian. If you haven't yet, you should check out his story, Desire for Orders. (It's utterly glorious, and so, so worth it.) Then, you should send him a PM and tell him what you thought. That'll draw him back to the forums, and make him suspicious; he might check this thread, and see this, and be amused, and then remember there's still an open question for him upthread. And if I got really lucky, he might pick up on something one of you has said, and if all the stars aligned, actual discussion that doesn't directly involve me might actually occur :P (And yes, this is how long my shots have gotten.)
I now have the PDF downloaded, all I need is some free time to read it :P It's just a matter of time before I "make him promise to finish it"
amenon wrote:(If you don't like sad stories, it's okay to skip "Two of a Kind", and it's recommended to skip Dead of Night. But I didn't write them for nothing, so...)
And then, we have Trust, which doesn't really have anything to do with any of the others, and is set any moment now in the comic. (Meaning, for posterity, 'after Chapter 18.') It's a cute little story ^^
I like feelsy stories. It's good to have emotional moments from time to time, and with a title like that I can hardly not take a look at it. Will be reading all of the stories at some point in the future no matter what, especially after the effort you've put into them!
amenon wrote:
Cyon wrote:I'm not one to judge writing styles much in a good story so I don't have any advice, but keep it up!
Oh, Jonesy is a bit of a special case in that respect. He's mostly here because I pretty much called in the favor from helping him with his story, Human & Lupusad. (Can't miss it; second biggest thing on the forums, after avwolf's Bleak Streets. If you give H&L a chance, give it a few chapters; the beginning is rough, but as I recall it gets better pretty quickly. It's no small thing, though; 29 chapters and 190k words, as of this.) So if Jonesy's presence here feels a little like I've got a gun to his head, that'd be why :P
Ah I was wondering, I'd seen some posts about writing contests where he had referenced Human & Lupusad. 190k words is no mean feat, so I can't promise that I'll have it finished anytime soon, but give me enough time I'll be posting a colossal review :wink:

no spoilers plz
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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#41 Post by Jonesy »

amenon wrote:
Jonesy wrote:I thought they were going to go all the way, but they didn't get quite that far. That's not to say what happened was 'incorrect', but that was just my assumption.
What, you were expecting me to write smut?
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amenon wrote:
Jonesy wrote:I did want to see where it was going, and I assumed it'd keep going for a while after the climax. But there was a point or two where I thought "Is this actually drawing to a close, or are we still going?"
Do you remember what those points were?
Zen and Nick having coffee the morning after seemed like it wasn't going to lead to any new... 'encounters'. I can appreciate that things are still winding down at that point, though.

Plus, if Jakob and Zyanya can do it the morning after, I'm sure Keith, Nick and Zen can.
amenon wrote:
Jonesy wrote:If it's any consolation, it's inspired me to make a prequel detailing Jessamine and Kasa's relationship, as they become more and more intimate with each increasingly loathable suitor she has to deal with. I've got a good idea of how the basic framework would work out, but it's going on the backburner until H&L is finished and made publishable.
Consolation? That's the grand prize! I would love to read that story :grin:
Well, sometime I'll clean up the basic idea, and PM you what I'm planning for your thoughts. But I doubt I'll be fleshing it out too much until I've touched up H&L.
Cyon wrote:Ah I was wondering, I'd seen some posts about writing contests where he had referenced Human & Lupusad. 190k words is no mean feat, so I can't promise that I'll have it finished anytime soon, but give me enough time I'll be posting a colossal review :wink:

no spoilers plz
I'll be on the lookout for it, then.

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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#42 Post by amenon »

Cyon wrote:I now have the PDF downloaded, all I need is some free time to read it :P It's just a matter of time before I "make him promise to finish it"
And so, the first domino falls... :grin:
Cyon wrote:I like feelsy stories. It's good to have emotional moments from time to time, and with a title like that I can hardly not take a look at it.
Then I'll be so bold as to say that you'll be impressed. In a very real sense, those two stories are the most effective ones I've written. Dead of Night can still make me cry, and I'm generally very unaffected by my own stories by the time I'm done writing them.
Cyon wrote:Will be reading all of the stories at some point in the future no matter what, especially after the effort you've put into them!
I hope you will, and that it'll be worth it ^^ The effort has been very real, but effort by itself is worth nothing. It's results that matter, and I do think my stuff is generally worth reading.

(Though, you should prioritize Desire for Orders :P)
Jonesy wrote:
amenon wrote:Do you remember what those points were?
Zen and Nick having coffee the morning after seemed like it wasn't going to lead to any new... 'encounters'. I can appreciate that things are still winding down at that point, though.
I take it you weren't invested in their thing, then? It must've at least registered as a storyelement, yes?
Jonesy wrote:
Cyon wrote:Ah I was wondering, I'd seen some posts about writing contests where he had referenced Human & Lupusad. 190k words is no mean feat, so I can't promise that I'll have it finished anytime soon, but give me enough time I'll be posting a colossal review :wink:

no spoilers plz
I'll be on the lookout for it, then.
In case you didn't parse it, he was making fun of me. Though, actually going through with it would be... all of the style points :P
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Cyon
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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#43 Post by Cyon »

amenon wrote:
Cyon wrote:I now have the PDF downloaded, all I need is some free time to read it :P It's just a matter of time before I "make him promise to finish it"
And so, the first domino falls... :grin:
(Though, you should prioritize Desire for Orders :P)
Right, onwards!
Who even looks at signatures anyways?

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Jonesy
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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#44 Post by Jonesy »

amenon wrote:
Jonesy wrote:
amenon wrote:Do you remember what those points were?
Zen and Nick having coffee the morning after seemed like it wasn't going to lead to any new... 'encounters'. I can appreciate that things are still winding down at that point, though.
I take it you weren't invested in their thing, then? It must've at least registered as a storyelement, yes?
It seemed a bit secondary compared to everything else, and perhaps a little like a case of adding a hypotenuse to a love triangle. But I can't say I wasn't invested, though.

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Re: Entertaining Possibilities (and sequels!) - Twokinds Smuts - [NSFW] (Sep 2016: EP#4 and Trust)

#45 Post by amenon »

Cyon wrote:Right, onwards!
Godspeed!

Jonesy wrote:Zen and Nick having coffee the morning after seemed like it wasn't going to lead to any new... 'encounters'.
A bit belatedly, but: So, wait, I ended up double-tricking you? In ToaK, you thought that they would bang, and in FH, you thought that they wouldn't? :grin:

The ToaK reaction is pretty expected. (It is, after all, after EP.) With FH, I'm not sure if I'm expecting that there should be expectations one way or another -- it is, after all, after ToaK -- but it would be nice if the reader was hoping for something. That may require a specific audience, though.
Jonesy wrote:It seemed a bit secondary compared to everything else, and perhaps a little like a case of adding a hypotenuse to a love triangle. But I can't say I wasn't invested, though.
I love the phrase 'adding a hypotenuse to a love triangle' :grin:

Since you felt this was a bit secondary, what would you say were the primary stories in FH?


Also, since it came up somewhere else, I have a bit of a puzzle relating to Natani and Maddie, for anyone willing to take it. To quote FH:
Full House wrote: "What am I going to say to her mother?!"
Nick had already been thinking in that direction. He'd be making his report sooner than Keith or Maddie. He discarded the first three responses that came to mind. "That she's showing initiative in matters of interracial relations?"
The question: What is one of those three responses that Nick discarded, that might have immediately come to his mind, but he might not want to state, to the King or in general?
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