Elf and Dwarf strips - serious critique only

[falconire]

I've drawn ten strips called Elf and Dwarf and would like some feedback on them - art, color, jokes, etc. Please no one word answers or rude replies. Overall I'm wondering if it would be viable to put it online as a webcomic.

[Ryusen]

Because the internet needs more WoW spinoffs.

*hears moderators in the distance*

[A.J./Kho]

*mirths quietly in the corner while awaiting mods*

Censors will keep you from getting banned.

*hands over a few*

[FastChapter]

Ech... sorry, I don't condone webcomics if they condone hate-speak. Put on some big-boy pants, grow up, and go away.

[Nuff]

Well, it's not funny. The swearing seems unnecessary and it's about as original as every other WOW rip. Plus, I think making your first post on a fourm a promo post is something an anus would do.

[epion04]

Quite frankly, there is NO tact in the jokes..... wow I must say I am all but dumbstruck at this. If there was a single joke in there than did not get turned into a gay joke or used to make another gay joke, I could not find it.

As much as I hate this phrase, Nb4Lock.

[avwolf]

It has nothing to do with WoW.... It's a D&D comic. I mean, they even say it in one.

*sigh* That said, I do agree that a lot of the gags are lacking in tact. Take the first comic, for instance. Rather than making it a classless slur on homosexuals, it might be better just to leave Dorf sighing heavily and rolling his eyes. There's plenty of things about D&D to mock and deride (or even about meta-D&D, which seems to be more your goal), without getting into simply offending people (readers quit reading as soon as you offend them, so it's best not to simply blatantly offend people, especially early on). I do approve of the comic between Baltar and Phineas, though I can't say I particularly get a "joke" out of it, it's a reasonable poke at the way some people approach the game.

[zhimoda]

...Alrighty...so I read the first four...and stopped. I suppose if you put more thought into the "jokes" and lost the hate speak and near unnecessary amount of swearing it'd be better. I lost desire to read it after the first few, from the other posts I've seen it doesn't sound like it changed much from there. Personally I just didn't find it funny. The artwork definitely looks appropriate for a comic meant to poke fun at something, but the dialogue needs a lot of work in my opinion.

[FastChapter]

I've got a funny WoW joke he could use:

[2. Trade] [FastChapter]: WTS [WebComic of Failure] 10 copper pst.

[GD]

How old are you, twelve? Swearing's not that funny you know.
The art isn't terrible, there are worse comics out there, but you should really improve your wit to balance that out if you want to start a webcomic.

I've got a funny WoW joke he could use:

[2. Trade] [FastChapter]: WTS [WebComic of Failure] 10 copper pst.

That wasn't funny either. Seriously FC, you need to stop making WoW jokes.

[Nuff]

No you see GD, WOW is a joke

[Kilroywuzheere]

I got to strip two. The closest thing to funny was the idea that an elf and a dwarf would actually hang out together. And that got a "Huh, this might be worth checking," at best.

--slaps a big ol' "FAIL AS A WEBCOMIC!" stamp on this thread--

Trust me, if you can't get people to read past the first two comics, you fail.

[Chaosye]

I actually thought this might have been about Dwarf Fortress when I saw the title.
BOO

[A.J./Kho]

I actually thought this might have been about Dwarf Fortress when I saw the title.
BOO

Good point. THAT, would have made a hilarious webcomic.
Elven Caravans arriving at a Dwarven fortress scorched by magma and angry deunk dwarves glaring angrily at the dwarf who made this trap to kill off the elves.

"Uhm...what's with the mega-death trap?"
"Ach, laddee Is'naw a wee prollum sept foah the bloke 'oo nerrly kilt us all while we were drinkin' our booze in the dining hall!
Never saw suchs a dwarfin follee."

*minutes before* Okay. If I hit this wall, it should unblock the waterflow so us dwarfs can have a nice indoor waterfall!
*Bonk*....AAAGGGHH~! IT BURNS!!

to put it short, put character in the characters.

[FastChapter]

How old are you, twelve? Swearing's not that funny you know.
The art isn't terrible, there are worse comics out there, but you should really improve your wit to balance that out if you want to start a webcomic.

I've got a funny WoW joke he could use:

[2. Trade] [FastChapter]: WTS [WebComic of Failure] 10 copper pst.

That wasn't funny either. Seriously FC, you need to stop making WoW jokes.

O.o Harsh...