Rant/Vent/sad thread

[Talaisan]

You might benefit from a study and consideration of bushido or other warrior philosophies, Moddex. I've taken interest in some of them, but never really settled into one particular school of thought.

After dealing with some similar thoughts and worries, I eventually came around to the realization that the only way to really accomplish anything in this life is to be willing to put that life on the line for the sake of doing what you personally feel is worth doing. I'm really bad at explaining this, but I'll try and sum up the most important points.

Every moment could be the last one. Accept that every breath you take could be the last, but don't let that understanding still you. Instead, allow the knowledge to bring you clarity of purpose. As you live out your life, consider whether you would be proud to die at this very moment. If the answer is no, spend what breath you have working toward a 'yes'.

Accept yourself. Understand yourself. Change yourself. No one can do any of those, but you.

There is always something you can change for the better. If ever you run out of things to occupy you, there is always something you have overlooked.

I'll be the first to admit I have a hard time keeping to these guidelines, especially the second. But falling back on these got me through a lot of things.

[Drisk Kayne]

I never thought I'd find myself posting in this topic. This morning, I woke up at 4:30 so I'd have enough time to finish a huge research paper for science class. I really wanted to have finished this yesterday, but the person I'm working with on the project didn't finish his part of the work until late, and I needed his part to be able to finish my part. Eventually he sent me the files with his work, but did it at 9:30 at night, at which point I could no longer work on it. Thus, the 4:30 wake up time and probable falling asleep in class later.

[Trabian]

things that managed to irritate me today: non retarded brothers (atleast officially. >.>) that are lazy as hell when asked to do something but act all aggressive when you have them wait 1 minute when they ask something of you.


/vent off.

Addendum: being awake most of the time when the rest of the forum is asleep or not home. :s

[SpeedFreak]

ok so about a year ago i had a little battle with depression (not like even family noticed since they really don't care to much) and of course that was on my birthday...and that day i was REALLY close to jumping out of the car when my dad was driving me to some class...thank god the door was locked. but now im alittle more then a week from my b-day and fights are starting about stupid stuff...cept there really bad....yay my mom deff hates me right now and same with my dad...im starting to get all depressed again and just want them to leave me alone and i want to get sick so i can be left alone. and now there going back on there word and taking me to chcago durring my birthday where...i get to sit in a hotel room with my sister (who has autism and does not let anyone do anything) and my stupid little brother...and my other brother (younger by 18 months) gets to stay home. grah life sucks

Edit: oh yea this family fight thing that is making me all depressed happened cause I didn't want to shave untill the morning...

[/vent]

[Keaoden, The hidden]

I'm a puppet master and its frustrating.

Let me explain a bit. Okay, I'm good at manipulating people, really good, scary good. Its just so easy for me to make predict people and what they do. Even more so the ones that are closest to me.

I've always been a very quiet person, I've never had a huge deal of friends, never been close with any of my family, I've always just sat in the background and watched. When I talk, its usually very little and very well thought out. I'm careful with what I say, putting thought into every word, every sentence, even into the way I say it.

I constantly run scenarios in my head about the situations I'm in. Trying to predict and assess every facet of every element of my life and the people in it. As far back as I can remember I've been doing this, and after all this time its just become so easy. Even if I just meet someone I can usually predict their behavior and actions by just watching them for an hour or so.

Now to why its so bad. I've gotten tired of it, its so hard keeping each and every act up, trying to remember whom I am for whom, which mask do I use for what occasion. Its tiering, and I just want to stop, but I've been at it for so long I'm not sure how to.

[Kilroywuzheere]

Easy, just stop thinking and act on impulse. I could be just like you, puppet master. I could present a new face to each person. I could plan out every detail. I could, but I don't. When you think to do something, do it. Don't bother planning things out in real time. Even if it's still a reflex, go with your first plan unless you KNOW saying/doing that is a REALLY bad idea. If you act like you, you'll probably get some more friends, and much closer friends.

[Keaoden, The hidden]

Then the paranoia and self-doubt start to come up, again. I have a lot of issues with trusting anyone even myself. And whats worse is I can't even remember what my real self looks like.

[BlueFoxx]

really? all-out ranting? let-it-all hang loose, et it out of my system sort of thing?
boy i have a long list...
you know, i think i'll just make some sort of collage thing with words and take a pic, then post it. cause typing will be too slow and too legable...im not sure i want everythign right out there...> .> out there but not clear is good though xD
edit: here is a to it's folder on my site. beware, its not pretty [pretty much all my faults, bad habits and dark secrets that fit onto one page without being clearly legible]. if its down then the computer crashed, as windows does [the site is on my personal desktop machine, trying to fix that but lack of cash and no im not going to file hosting > .>]
[link]

ok fine, not so much a rant as just a collection of some of the things clouding my mind day in and day out...

[EvilSobe]

Within the span of a year my dad nearly died, and my brother tried to commit suicide (multiple times). Shortly afterward my dog died... Instead of taking time off from college I decided to try my luck at eighteen credits worth of summer classes, and I ended up nearly having to be locked away at a local facility for what I like to call "the crazies".

On the plus side I managed to quit smoking during my short stay. I just chew lots of gum now. Lots of gum.

Its weird, because I've been able to deal with my grandmother having breast cancer, and losing my great grand mother (we were really close), or my friend who I considered an older brother. I guess I'm just not as strong willed as I used to be. ^_^

The worst part is I can't talk to my little brother anymore. It just makes me so angry, because I've been battling with major unipolar depression since I was thirteen. He could've come to me, and said anything. He didn't. So there's a lot of anger still there I guess... I mean life hasn't been dandelions and rainbows on my end, so I can relate to some of the things he's been through. But to try and end his life, right in front of mom and me... I don't know...

Blah.. I talk too much. Sorry.

[FoobyKamikaze]

I haven't been able to play Guitar Hero for a few days (yes, it's a lot, considering it's only been out a few days), and I managed to find time today. I fired up the Wii and went online to try and find some Pro FaceOffs. In GHIII, PFO's were where people played on the same difficulty. Same notechart, same challenge. Only the better player won. In GHIV, Pro faceoffs are played by two people on the difficulty of their choice. I just lost to some newb who played easy.

Here's where the problem comes in, and why this makes no sense at all: In order to make up for the different amount of notes in each difficulty, one note is worth a lot more in easy than it is in expert. This guy I played got about five times the amount of points I did per note. So since he was playing on easy, he could hit every freakin' note. However, he didn't. I was watching him, and he missed a good sixth of the notes. Yet I still lost. There is nothing that resembles old-PFO, so I'm rather pissed at Activision right now.


I invite any and all "lol guitar hero" and "guitar hero sux" comments. I don't know how I'm going to be able to appreciate this game as much now, considering the song creator was a huge let-down as well <_<






And just so you can't label this as a game rant and throw it over there: I also had an incredibly difficult math test. Teacher gave us a review to study off of. The review and test were nothing similar. So now my B+ in that class is going to plummet even further.

[Ryusen]

Well, I got back my last exam from my Materials class. I managed to get a 74. After a 35 point curve.

Seriously, if a professor has to give that high of a curve just to have a passing test average, that might mean something beyond "the students need to study more".

[GreencoyotE]

I have been told my max height won't be much, right now I'm 5'1.5" feet tall, I'm guessing my max will be about 5'3" dunno why but I just feel horrible about all this.

[BlueFoxx]

I invite any and all "lol guitar hero" and "guitar hero sux" comments. I don't know how I'm going to be able to appreciate this game as much now, considering the song creator was a huge let-down as well <_<
just so you can't label this as a game rant and throw it over there: I also had an incredibly difficult math test. Teacher gave us a review to study off of. The review and test were nothing similar. So now my B+ in that class is going to plummet even further.

guitar hero is a boring game xD
and boo @ pop-tests >. >

[Kanako]

*bangs head against table*
*bangs head against table Again*
*bangs head against table Again*
*bangs head against table Again*
*bangs head against table Again*
*bangs head against table Again*
*bangs head against table Again*
*bangs head against table Again*
Stupid teacher i just got in trouble for doing my work, dumb *****

[FastChapter]

Sister thought it would be funny to put one of my brass thumb tacks on my computer chair. Nothing like a 2nd grade gag from the 80s...

It turns out my right [censored] cheek is capable of bleeding for a good ten minutes.