Rant/Vent/sad thread

[coal]

A [censored] day and this is how it starts...

Well, another night spent breathing in sand dust, on my dad's office reno... That place is a was a [censored] box, to tell you guys the truth, It was. Even before my Dad, my brother, and I went around cleaning friggen ash trays and hangers from behind the radiators. We are sanding it so that the guy sanding the main floors will be able to varnish the floors without getting permanent dust crap on the ground. Cause I know he would.I then spend 5 hours of my life breathing wood dust in and coughing. And now my pants are covered in the stuff. And I still get to be sick.

Ok so the worst is over, I guess he brings us to the stairs while we eat some pizza he order. After a while he tells us that we are probably going to be moving into the place that we are renoing right now, Without his long time girlfriend (in the eyes of the law married). We've been living together for 5-6 years right now and she's like [censored] family to me and IT SUCKS.

Me being young and all I'm going to start blaming myself now, Okay? And now I don't get to spend the holidays relaxing right? I get to spend it renoing whats going to be our new place/office! and that includes installing 2 more bathrooms, and building like 1o friggen walls and not even the furniture and I'M GOING TO MISS MICHELLE. I HATE MOVING. The last time I moved the movers held our stuff practically hostage in their van and charges my Mom like an extra 500 dollars just to take it to the new place. AND IT DOESN'T HELP THAT MY DAD IS A DO IT YOURSELF GUY.

Also my marks are kinda bad in school now, but I'm working on that, and I'm trying not to be so anti social, BUT this is making me depressed and frustrated...
Why couldn't he tell us [censored] sooner. >_<

I'ma gonna go cry a bit K?

[Sage Asuka]

Sick Sage is sick. And stupid. I have a take home chem quiz I'm lost on with no help. Still working on my final project. And I have my Java final coming up.

...I want to crawl under a rock and stay there.

[Verilidaine]

Aww. *gives Asuka some tea and warm blankets* Relax yourself up, mmkay? Even though you have a lot of work, when you're not working, don't think about work. Think about sleep and warm. I'm about to enter finals too. We'll suffer together, at least. >.<

[furryfanatic]

i want snow dammit!! here in England we rarely get snow, but when we do its generally 12/15 inches :3 like last year! it was the first snow fall that large in 18 years!

[gangman5]

Has anyone had one of those day when nothing has gone wrong but everything feels wrong?
Thats me today. Just an avergae day, nothing out of the ordinary. yet it all feels so old and so wrong to me. I feel like theres a black hole in my heart, just disconnecting me with the human race.

Many things have happened recently, an old friend from germany I haven't seen since we were 6 has has come back to New Zealand, she and her family own a local golf shop. My nana has left for austrailia to see her other children one last time, she doesn't have many left. I've finished school for the year and now have all the time in the world to do what I want.

But dispite all the christmas cheer and joy, I feel empty. Nothing suprises me, nothing thrills me, and this month just feels like any other month. all blending together into a numbing grey mist.

There is no one I have a connection to, not my friends, certinally not my family, and no significant partner. I know by know you all must be getting tired of my little whines about mu depression on here, but I think these last few things are what keep me going. without this, I think I might do something stupid and get myself killed. I really don't want this anymore, I want to get away from everyone and everything in my life and just...live a life I want for myself.

maybe one day it'll be the way I want were I can be happy in my daily life and maybe share such joy with someone I love, but not now. not now.

[Sage Asuka]

Unintentionally pulled an allnighter. See, sometimes if my throat is even bothering me just a little bit it makes me feel a little sick to my stomach. So everytime I went to lie down I'd suddenly feel like throwing up. So I'd sit back up and try not to. This process was repeated for about 3 hours before I finally went 'screw it' and tried to play some videogames to relax. This just tensed me up more. So now I'm here working on my projects.

[Scherzo]

Dangit! My little brother's locked himself in the bathroom so I can't get to my contact lenses before I leave.

(some 100th post, huh?)

[SeriousSamuel]

The last month have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I've been trying get contact with people at my school, but it's not easy. It's not easy to know when it's a good moment to say something or even what to say. It's my philosophy that there is no true meaning to life, rather that it's the things you make meaningful that is meaningful, and that you shouldn't worry too much nor take take yourself too seriously. It's a pity I can't make myself follow those two rules. I'm not sure if my hormones are contributing to my constant ups and downs, but one thing is for sure, everything used to be so much easier before everyone told me I was diffirent and when I didn't actually care whether or not I was alone.
I miss that guy.

[FlySpy]

Wall-o-text

I spent my last year feeling like that, still am to be correct.(and just for a minor comparison, last year I reached 18 and my birthday was just another average day, why? cause I lived it like that)
There's a saying in Hungarian for this problem, roughly translated: "Don't wait for the roasted pigeon to fall in your mouth"
right now I want to try something new, a new "cure" for this, so to say, so I set up plans for myself, just to make my days more interesting, for example short range plan: I want to learn to play the guitar, and I started to save money for one and for a few lessons. Long range: I will want to learn to fly, I mean a plane and later helicopters, but thats far ahead.

so yeah, don't wait for things to get better, they won't if you do nothing about it. And don't end it, don't get yourself killed, boredom is not deadly, it's a minor discomfort.
Remember life is not boring, it's what you do is boring.
(Films and sitcoms are tricky, you know they don't show everyday life, they show a persons memorable moments, there can be weeks between episodes, don't compare your life to them)

[Sage Asuka]

cold migrated to my ear and stomach. Ew. So I'm deaf and my stomach won't stop feeling nauteous from mucus overload. Lovely.

[Holy_458]

I just saw another Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 trailer.

It actually gave me a physical reaction along the lines of this:

[Sage Asuka]

I just saw another Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 trailer.

It actually gave me a physical reaction along the lines of this:
*picture*

I lack a tv so I am spared

[Verilidaine]

Aww. I thought it looked kind of fun. Though if I didn't know that the guy who's making them is the son of the man who invented them, I'd probably have the same reaction.

Ugh, I can feel a migraine trying to start. If I don't move too much it's okay. >.<

[Sage Asuka]

Eh, I grew up with the cartoon and that one really old video where they travel around the world so I tend to prefer those >3> although I am happy to see Jeanette. She was my favorite. Maybe this should be put into the media board as a general 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' discussion before I run things off topic.

[WindDragon]

Just a terribly busy day overall...(_ _ )
Helped my dad move out of one house and into his house for ~6 hours, then my brother had a birthday party which he was late to due to the above reason. Meanwhile at home, he also spent 8 hours downloading Maple Story, which failed to download in the end and therefore a complete waste of internet time...