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templarUSA
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#826 Post by templarUSA »

ahh but never forget old doctor who
"I have found that duct tape and bubble gum pretty much binds the universe together"

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Vay
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#827 Post by Vay »

well, i could make tons of posts with all the quotes i have, most of which must have been taken. or i can just go to the source.

http://www.quotationspage.com/subjects/

But my favorites are:

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"
-Scott Adams

"We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true."
-Robert Wilensky

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."
-Unknown

"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
-Elbert Hubbard

"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish."
-Euripides

"Faith is a cop-out. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can’t be taken on its own merits."
-Dan Barker

"If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age."
-George Burns

"A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic."
-Joseph Stalin

"For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
-Johnny Carson

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."
-Isaac Asimov

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."
-R. D. Laing

"War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory."
-Georges Clemenceau

"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness."
-Joseph Conrad

And some funny ones about reality:

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
-Albert Einstein

"Everything is a dangerous drug except reality, which is unendurable."
-Cyril Connolly

"I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it."
-Garrison Keillor

"The real distinction is between those who adapt their purposes to reality and those who seek to mold reality in the light of their purposes."
-Henry Kissinger

"Realism...has no more to do with reality than anything else."
-Hob Broun

"Reality is nothing but a collective hunch."
-Jane Wagner

"Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it."
-Jane Wagner

"Reality is something you rise above."
-Liza Minnelli

"I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it."
-Mary Chase

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
-Philip K. Dick

"Humankind cannot stand very much reality."
-T. S. Eliot

24 down 25,976 to go

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Thief
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#828 Post by Thief »

"Be careful about reading health books- You may die of a misprint."
-Mark Twain
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Insomniac
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#829 Post by Insomniac »

"This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My rifle and myself are defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life. So be it...until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen."

God, I love Full Metal Jacket, and I love the Marine Corp. Hoorah!
From the Sergals and Sergal Lovers channel of F-List's chat system (Beyond NSFW, by the way): Honey, you ain't the only abnormal sergal in here. We got three pink northerns, a fairy, and a dork with a talking sword.

grimz
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#830 Post by grimz »

"How the hell does one manage to hit himself in the balls with a sledgehammer?"
This is what I thought right after I had nearly swung a sledgehammer into my own crotch. In my defense I was carrying a huge bunch of tools when this happened.
An ancient proverb summed it up: when a wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life.
-Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

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Scalfin2000
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#831 Post by Scalfin2000 »

"Very often, the light at the end of the tunnel is a train." Talking head on ABC News.

"Well, I guess we now know what Dick Cheney keeps in that man-sized safe: the Dick from 1994." Jon Stewart after seeing a clip of Dick Cheney in a 1994 interview saying that if we invaded Iraq it would be a quagmire and Iraq would fall apart so violently that there would be pieces everywhere.

Luca Fox
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#832 Post by Luca Fox »

"Success is a journey, not a destination."

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MeaCulpa, S.C.M.
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#833 Post by MeaCulpa, S.C.M. »

"Why is it that the important debates about the moral state of the world die in about two weeks, but the random quote thread is still catching replies two years after it was made?"
-Me, after looking at the date of the first post on this thread
VERY, GOOD

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Insomniac
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#834 Post by Insomniac »

"College isn't a dream, it's a plan" Freaking.....EVERYONE!!!

"College isn't a plan, it's a dream" My First Aid teacher, and one of my school's baseball coaches. 8)

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Wynni
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#835 Post by Wynni »

Because in about two weeks, you can cover near about every angle of the debate--- and still convince no one to change their mind (and convince yourself that everyone needs to think like you do).

This thread is entertainment. The human mind's need for entertainment -- and to be entertaining in turn-- never fades, and will remain constant.

(heheh, my hubby's keyboard has a working comma! woot!)

and the moral state of the world at large? Largely unchanged after all this time: why? The whole range of human behavior will always be represented in the general population. Law of averages I'm afraid.
Image Wielder of the Wooden Spoon. Boogeymen and Slendermen everywhere beware.
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IT'S A LION!
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#836 Post by IT'S A LION! »

"If websites were songs, The Website would be the hallelujah chorus sung over a kickin' hip-hop beat with a jaw-dropping banjo riff.
If websites were animals, The Website would be a cross between a platypus and a pangolin with wicked saber-teeth and a bag of treats for all the good girls and boys.
If websites were movies, The Website would be all six Star Wars films—starring a wizard named Gandalf and an eclectic orc named Jim—packaged into one unbelievably shiny and attractive box with a fearsome and plaid dinosaur on the front."
--one of my good friends (and co-authors) describing his website (modestly titled "The Website")

"Baravelli, you've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it."
--Groucho Marx in Horse Feathers
MrFlyingAmoeba wrote:Could fifteen minutes with Geico save you fifteen percent or more on your car insurance? Can a psychotic former Black Ops agent turned dragon-man with a .50 cal machine gun babysit Kevin McAllister from Home Alone?

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Particle Ghost
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#837 Post by Particle Ghost »

"I think it vain and self-advertising that people find the need to quote themselves in this thread."
Me, this thread.
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Nuff
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#838 Post by Nuff »

"We all know there will only be 3 things left on this planet after the nuclear holocaust. Cockroaches, duct tape and Cher's face"

can't remember where I heard it but it made me laugh.

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Slade Doobiedog
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#839 Post by Slade Doobiedog »

"Life is a journey. Wok with friends."
--above an entrance to a Chinese restaurant
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Talonmaster Zso
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#840 Post by Talonmaster Zso »

"Life is a Journey. Shame about the Destination." ~ Unknown

"Paranoia is a very comforting state of mind. If you think people are out to get you, it means you think you matter." ~ Unknown
Human (n): Susceptible to or representative of the sympathies and frailties of human nature.

Loud & Proud Humanist. Malignant to Misanthropes.

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