Twokinds needs your help!

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Escobar
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#151 Post by Escobar »

Comic for Monday, January 10th, 2011

Panel 4: "That magic always come at a cost." Could be "That magic always comes at a cost." or "That magic will always come at a cost."
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Coatlus
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#152 Post by Coatlus »

Hello Tom, and everyone else.
I'm not sure whether this is the right place to approach you about this but I'll do it anyway.

Have you ever Considered translating your comic into other languages? I was thinking I may offer translate the entire comic into Spanish as I speak both English and Spanish fluently. The main reason I thought of this was because I'm currently in mexico and would love for my friends to read the comic as I'm sure they would like it, problem being there English is at about the same level as Nanati's.

If you have any interest in this at all please email or PM me.

:potatoes:
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Sebbie
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#153 Post by Sebbie »

Comic for Saturday, August 13th, 2011

From the discussion thread:
Moviedude18.0 wrote:A small grammar nitpick: "they're" isn't capitalized in the third panel like it should be.
PhycoKrusk wrote:especially Alaric who, without all that fur, I imagine is ripped
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#154 Post by Marie August »

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=51

7th panel, your should be you're

"But your right. I'm not going to kill you." needs to be "But you're right."


http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=112

6th panel, trace needs to be capitalized

"But trace makes me happy.." needs to be "But Trace makes me happy..."


http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=226

5th panel, to needs to be too

"And tell Trace to back off to" needs to be "And tell Trace to back off too"


http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=229

2nd panel, I needs to be it

"If I wasn't for the fact that I still need you for my mission..." needs to be "If it wasn't for the fact that I still need you for my mission..."


http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=249

1st panel, conserns needs to be concerns

"No, what conserns me is the relationship itself." needs to be "No, what concerns me is the relationship itself."


http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=369

1st panel, then needs to be than

"We have more to worry about then Keidran." needs to be "We have more to worry about than Keidran."
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Flyboy1945
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#155 Post by Flyboy1945 »

A small issue I have with almost EVERYONE I've seen spell these two words over the Internet.

Quiet and Quite,

Quiet-when there is no noise.
Quite- like the British saying "Quite right old chap."

I know I'm being a Grammar Fascist but I thought this would be appropriate.
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Sebbie
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#156 Post by Sebbie »

Flyboy1945 wrote:A small issue I have with almost EVERYONE I've seen spell these two words over the Internet.

Quiet and Quite,

Quiet-when there is no noise.
Quite- like the British saying "Quite right old chap."

I know I'm being a Grammar Fascist but I thought this would be appropriate.
...how is this at all relevant to the comic?

Anyway, taken from the comic discussion thread for the November 10th, 2011 comic:
Dog Master wrote:I just noticed that there is a slight sentence error in panel 4 where Trace said ; " It would only take a small detour for us to get in AN out with the gold." when Trace should've said ; "It would only take a small detour for us to get in AND out with the gold."
PhycoKrusk wrote:especially Alaric who, without all that fur, I imagine is ripped
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tony1695
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#157 Post by tony1695 »

Did no-one notice the whole "insistant" thing? It should be "insistent."
The only reason I've taken so long to point it out is that I thought someone else would have noticed it by now.
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Sebbie
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#158 Post by Sebbie »

In the comic for Wednesday, April 4th, 2012: in panel three, "lanturn" should be spelled "lantern."
PhycoKrusk wrote:especially Alaric who, without all that fur, I imagine is ripped
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Gradivus
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#159 Post by Gradivus »

In the first panel of the strip for Wednesday, June 20th, 2012, "led" is misspelled. It should read "I haven't exactly led..."

Present: I lead
Past: I led; I have led.

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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#160 Post by Lawlsauce »

Thought I’d add some suggestions on sentence structure as well, just to get the story to flow better. I’m not looking at onomatopoeias, as they’re subjective anyways. Except ‘whimper’. That annoys me -_-
I’m fully aware that most of these will have been pointed out before; I just want to make an up to date list of ALL errors to make identifying if they still exist and correcting them easier. In each instance, I’ve re-written the entire speech-bubble with the error corrected to make it easy to rectify 'em by copy/paste ing the entire paragraph. It’d be a pain in the hearth otherwise. If I’m being an idiot, please don’t hesitate to point out where.
Also, while doing this I found Penpen from Yosh. I think it’s supposed to be him, anyways. Link if you’d like to confirm that for me.
http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=101
http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=112

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=8
First panel, “Well, It’s getting”
Unnecessary capitalization of “It’s”
Correction: Well, it’s getting kinda late. We should camp out here for tonight.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=8
Last panel, “Sound good to- ack!”
‘Sound’ is a noun instead of a verb.
Correction: Sounds good to- ack!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=9
Fourth panel, “She’d been responding to me like she knew what I was saying.”
Using past tense in reference to the person currently engaged with in conversation. Normally used to describe the actions of someone no longer alive or no longer engaged with in conversation.
Aka clumsy wording ;). Also, ‘like’ could be replaced with a more appropriate ‘as if’.
Suggestion: I guess I should have... She’s been responding to me as if she knows what I’m saying.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=11
First panel, “I didn’t mean anything!”
Missing object (I think)? It just sounds clumsy. <-- being a ponce. Suggestion firmly links this as a response to Flora’s exclamation that she won’t let him take her to his city. She confuses a suggestion with a command and Trace is essentially telling her that she has the wrong idea.
Suggestion: I didn’t mean anything like that!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=12
Third panel, “I’d better get the camp supplies.”
‘camp’ is a noun instead of a verb? Just highlighting this in case this isn’t intended.
Possible alternatives:
Ehem, well... I guess I’d better get the camping supplies.
Ehem, well... I guess I’d better go get those supplies.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=13
Last panel, “Atleast she’s asleep...”
Missing space.
Correction: At least she’s asleep...

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=20
First panel, “We’d better get going then.”
“we’d” is not capitalized.
Correction: We’d better get going then. It’s already daytime.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=22
Third panel, “I think you’ll make a fine addition to the alchemist’s guide.”
90% sure it’s supposed to be ‘guild’, sorry if I’m overlooking anything.
Suggestion: Yes, I think you’ll make a fine addition to the alchemist’s guild.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=23
Second panel, “word goes ‘round that your dead!”
Missing apostrophe.
Correction: But then you go missing and word goes ‘round that you’re dead!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=23
Second panel, “I should know where your going.”
Missing apostrophe.
Correction: Do you know how worried I was? As your girlfriend, I should know where you’re going.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=24
Third panel, “Tracy! Your finally back! We thought you died!”
Missing apostrophe, missing contraction.
Correction: Tracy! You’re finally back! We thought you’d died!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=24
Sixth panel, “Your Trace Legacy?”
Missing apostrophe.
Correction: You’re Trace Legacy?

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=25
First panel, “wimper”
Word misspelt.
Correction: whimper (capitalization optional?)

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=25
First panel, ‘Yeah, I’ll “help him out.”’
Misuse of speech/quotation marks.
Correction: Yeah, I’ll “help him out”.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=28
First panel, “Well I’ve gotten everything on the list.”
If this is gonna be sold world-wide, I’d recommend changing ‘gotten’ to ‘got’. Both are correct, but ‘gotten’ isn’t considered good English.
Suggestion: Well, I’ve got everything on the list. The only thing I haven’t bought yet is something for Flora...

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=28
First panel, “Ball of yarn?”
Missing indefinite article.
Correction: What would a half cat half tiger-something want, anyway? A ball of yarn? But I wouldn’t want to insult her.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=28
Second panel, the sign on the roof that reads ‘Jewelry’
Word misspelt.
Correction: Jewellery

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=28
Fourth panel, “Ah, A customer. Oh, the grand Templar himself”
Inconsistent capitalization of the proper noun “Grand Templar” and unnecessary capitalization of ‘A’.
Suggestion: Ah, a customer. Oh, the Grand Templar himself I see.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=28
Last panel, “To win the favor of a Templar,”
Word misspelt.
Correction: To win the favour of a Templar, she must be quite a fox!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=29
Second panel, “This is a SubtleSeed Crystal.”
Inconsistent proper noun. Throughout the rest of the comic it’s referred to as a ‘Subtleseed crystal’.
Suggestion: This is a Subtleseed crystal.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=29
Fourth panel, “For you, Great Templar, no charge.”
Inconsistent proper noun. Throughout the rest of the comic the position is referred to as ‘Grand Templar’. Though it could just be a title of respect. Help a guy out here.
Suggestion: For you, Grand Templar, no charge.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=29
Fifth panel, “Wow, really.”
Possible missing question mark.
Suggestion: Wow, really? Thanks!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=30
Third panel, “I should have never”
Clumsy word order. A positive then negative statement; ‘should have’ (positive) and ‘never’ (negative). Better to make it all one negative statement.
Suggestion: Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I should never have let him go into the city, even if he has no memories!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=30
Fifth panel, “I should be home”
Highlighting lack of preposition. Not entirely incorrect, just highlighting it.
Possible alternative: I should be at home, getting ready to be married!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=32
First panel. “I have never seem such power”
Word misspelt.
Correction: Amazing. I have never seen such power in someone so young.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=33
Third panel, “A keidran?”
Missing capitalization of a proper noun.
Correction: But why? She’s Flora! Isn’t she like you? A Keidran?

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=33
Fourth panel, “she’s Keidran!”
Missing indefinite article.
Correction: We’re two different races! I’m a Basitin, she’s a Keidran!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=35
First panel, “Afterwords,”
Word misspelt.
Correction: Afterwards, do what you like. I won’t be with you, though.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=35
Fourth panel, “I’m different from other Keidrans!”
Please correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the plural still Keidran?
Suggestion: No! No! Of course not! I’m different from other Keidran!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=36
First panel, “Er, sorry if I did something wrong.”
Just another flow suggestion.
Suggestion: Er, sorry if I offended you. You don’t have to take it if you don’t want-

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=37
Sixth panel. “Lets see...”
Missing apostrophe.
Correction: Well, sure. Let’s see... grass is ch’rall.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=39
Second panel, “Uh, Flora? ...what is it?
Ellipsis in the wrong sentence.
Correction: Uh, Flora...? What is it?

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=41
Above first panel, “Error: Flora should be wearing the necklase”
Word misspelt.
Correction: Error: Flora should be wearing the necklace

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=47
First panel, “Why do I feel some confused over”
Uhh.... temporary vegetable transformation?
Correction: What am I going to do? Why do I feel so confused over some human?

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=47
First panel, “he’ll do if finds me?”
Missing word. Couldn’t be [censored] to look up the proper terminology.
Correction: I wonder what he’ll do if he finds me?

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=47
Last panel, “wimper”
Word misspelt.
Correction: ..whimper..

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=49
Fourth panel, “it’s seems your”
Unnecessary contraction.
Correction: I’m assuming that means “yes”. Well, it seems your foot is broken.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=49
Last panel, “I wont let anything happen to you. if your with me, no one will lay a hand on you.”
Two missing apostrophes and a missing capitalization of the subject of a sentence.
Correction: I won’t let anything happen to you. If you’re with me, no one will lay a hand on you.

That's all I have time for today, will update later. Due to the fact that it's 3am -_-'
http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=50
Fifth panel, “Your coming with US!”
Missing apostrophe
Correction: Oh, no you don’t. You’re coming with US! It’ll be fun! Like an adventure!
http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=51
Seventh panel, “But your right”
Missing apostrophe
Correction: Oh, I think they’ll have little choice in the matter. But you’re right, I’m not going to kill you. There are much worse fates in life.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=52
Last panel,"looks like your naked again"
Missing apostrophe
Correction: 'cause it looks like you're naked again.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=53
First panel, “into the city is it pretend I’m your slave.”
Two sentences meaning roughly the same things joined badly.
Correction: Anyway, the easiest way to get me into the city is if you pretend I’m your slave.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=54
Second panel, “What’s the fun in that.”
Punctuation error.
Correction: Aww. What’s the fun in that?

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=61
Fourth panel, “we have plenty of male Keidrans”
Not 100% sure, but I think the plural for Keidran is still Keidran.
Suggestion: In that case, we have plenty of male Keidrans.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=62
First panel, “This the our room.”
Misused article.
Correction: This is our room.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=62
Second panel, “Its wonderful!”
Missing apostrophe.
Correction: Ah! It’s wonderful!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=63
First panel, “I’ve been meaning to apologies”
Misplaced plural.
Correction: Oh, Trace. I’ve been meaning to apologise for the way I’ve been acting today. It was silly of me-

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=67
First panel, “Think about what your doing!”
Missing apostrophe.
Correction: Think about what you’re doing! Something was in that milk!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=69
First panel
On an unrelated note, Trace’s pants change from a tiger pattern to just brown o_O DocRossim did the colour though, so it’s not Tom’s issue.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=70
Fifth panel, “poor widdle Kiedran!”
Misspelt Keidran.
Correction: Hey, don’t hurt the poor widdle Keidran!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=75
First panel, “The new Grand Templar is suppose to be going”
Wrong tense.
Correction: The new Grand Templar is supposed to be going through the village about now!


http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=76
First panel, “the humans are destracted”
Misspelt ‘distracted’.
Correction: <Well, now that the humans are distracted, tell me, Flora..>

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=79
First panel, “You’re sentence is death.”
Superfluous apostrophe.
Correction: Your sentence is death.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=79
Last panel, “Your going to be the death of me”
Missing apostrophe.
Correction: You’re going to be the death of me, Flora.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=89
First panel, “friend of your’s”
Superfluous apostrophe.
Correction: So who is this “friend” of yours, exactly?

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=94
Third panel, “break thru my barrier?”
Not sure if ‘thru’ is spelt this way on purpose.
Correction: What!? How did you break through my barrier?



http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=99
Last panel, “I can sence the hatred”
Misspelled ‘sense’.
Correction: I can sense the hatred in her heart already.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=100
Seventh panel, “back them”.
Wrong word used, ‘them’.
Correction: But I was young and stupid back then.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=100
Seventh panel, “I wont make”.
Missing apostrophe.
Correction: I won’t make the same mistake again.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=100
Seventh panel, “be quite”.
Wrong word used, ‘quite’.
Correction: Oh, be quiet.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=100
Last panel, “if I’m lucky”.
Missing capitalization of ‘if’.
Correction: I’m 21 now. If I’m lucky, I may live to see another two or three years, but I can’t protect you forever.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=103
Fourth (?) panel, “unless honor is restored”.
Misspelled ‘honour’ and possessive article omitted.
Correction of spelling mistake: ..unless honour is restored..
Correction of both grammar and spelling: ..unless your honour is restored..

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=104
Cover, main title, “The Weight of Armor”
Misspelled ‘Armour’, possibly a name...? Correct me if I’m wrong.
Correction: The Weight of Armour

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=106
Eighth panel, “Don’t come in here!”
They’re out side, so this makes little sense.
Suggestion: I.. uh... ehm... Don’t come over here! I’m naked!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=107
First panel, “I’m glad your.. okay.”
Missing apostrophe.
Correction: Trace, I’m glad you’re.. okay.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=121
Last panel, “maybe if he was here with us”.
Changes in tense make little sense.
Correction: Then again, maybe if he was there with us.. we might have actually found the portcity.....

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=128
Second panel, “Occationally”.
Misspelled “Occasionally”.
Correction: Occasionally, they will snap out of it, but...

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=131
Sixth panel, “just wanted to appolog-“.
Misspelled half-word, ‘apolog-‘
Correction: I just wanted to apolog- Hey!

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=133
First panel, “she might take it”.
‘she’ not capitalised.
Correction: I really don’t want to avoid Flora. She might take it the wrong way.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=134
Last panel, fullful the contract.”
Misspelled ‘fulfil’.
Correction: It’s time to complete my mission and fulfil the contract.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=141
Fourth panel, “arriving on mainland nearly starving to death”
Missing definite article, bad use of the verb ‘starving’.
Correction: After arriving on the mainland starved nearly to death, a group of fox Keidran happened to find me.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=143
Fourth panel, “M-maybe your right...”
Missing apostrophe.
Correction: M-maybe you’re right...

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=145
Last panel, “keep watch of Trace!”
Incorrect preposition used?
Correction: Oh, yeah, Saria! I’ll go get her, you keep watch over Trace.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=164
Second panel, “know that human’s cannot ever”.
Superfluous apostrophe.
Correction: She needs to know that humans cannot ever be trusted. She is stubborn, but with my help, she will realize it.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=165
First panel, “once she accepted”.
‘once’ not capitalized.
Correction: Once she accepted my help, it was easy...

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=165
Fourth panel, “You really have no idea.”
Makes more sense if this was a query.
Suggestion: You really have no idea?

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=170
Third panel, “it wont be able to effect us...”
Missing apostrophe and a little verb confusion.
Correction: It may be all-powerful, but without a body, it won’t be able to affect us...

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=185
Second panel, “you’re hold on that”.
Superfluous apostrophe.
Correction: Because of him, your hold on that Keidran is fading.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=185
Third panel, “you wont be able to control”.
Missing apostrophe.
Correction: Soon you won’t be able to control her at all.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=190
First panel, “his.. he’s just gone.”
Used ‘his’ instead of ‘he’s’.
Correction: Yeah, Trace. It’s Euchre.. he’s.. he’s just gone.

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=191
First panel, “when the border got close..”
I think the writer means when the border was closed, as I don’t think it moved at all.
Suggestion: We even came here when the border got closed.. when it became dangerous, because of the Keidran.

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logdog102
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#161 Post by logdog102 »

I don't think a I can even begin to say wich comics you put "then" insted of "than" in but I could tell there were at least 100 of them. I'm sory if my spling is off but this tablet is small Android (WTF) hard to use. Now how do a I start a new paragraph?
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Go on, shoot me.

Tigrrl
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#162 Post by Tigrrl »

:flora:

The most recent set of suggestions were excellent. (By the way, I was an English major and have worked professionally as an editor. I would be happy to help edit your writing any time).

The commenter was a British English speaker - they offered several spelling recommendations on words which were correctly spelled in American English.

Please skip the following:

***
http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=28
Second panel, the sign on the roof that reads ‘Jewelry’
Word misspelt.
Correction: Jewellery

Actually, in American English, "Jewelry" is the correct spelling.
***
http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=28
Last panel, “To win the favor of a Templar,”
Word misspelt.
Correction: To win the favour of a Templar, she must be quite a fox!

Same as above, in American English, the correct spelling is "favor."
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http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=104
Cover, main title, “The Weight of Armor”
Misspelled ‘Armour’, possibly a name...? Correct me if I’m wrong.
Correction: The Weight of Armour

"Armor" is correct.
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The correction is still slightly wrong:

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=134
Last panel, fullful the contract.”
Misspelled ‘fulfil’.
Correction: It’s time to complete my mission and fulfil the contract.

"Fulfill"
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This is more of a diction suggestion:

http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=164
Second panel, “know that human’s cannot ever”.
Superfluous apostrophe.
Correction: She needs to know that humans cannot ever be trusted. She is stubborn, but with my help, she will realize it.

While "cannot ever" is technically correct, we would usually say "can never." Also, the second comma is optional. Here's my suggestion:

"She needs to know that humans can never be trusted. She is stubborn, but with my help she will realize it."
***
Thanks for writing and drawing one of my favorite comics ever!!!

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Escobar
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#163 Post by Escobar »

In the page for Sunday, April 21st, 2013, I think it's panel eight, there is an extra "it".
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HeckobA
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#164 Post by HeckobA »

Friday 30 August 2013 (today).

In the fifth panel Flora says "Another Keidan" instead of Keidran.
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avwolf
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Re: Twokinds needs your help!

#165 Post by avwolf »

Comic for Thursday, September 5th, 2013

In Natani's final dialogue box, she says "it's only as good at the memories." The line should read, "it's only as good as the memories."
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