Suggestions
- Add a margin to the side of the page, the side that is glued to the spine. That would make it easier to see and read the inner panels, without having to completely stretch the book open ^^.
- Add page numbers. - Sable Dove
- Looking into the above. - Tom
- I just noticed, not all pages are printed completely "straight"/vertical (well, actually almost none are completely vertical; or they were cut a bit off). Nothing serious at all, just pointing it out. (Nothing has been cut off, or even come very close to being, so not a real issue, just a note).
- I love the idea of showing us the note on the last page! [And I wonder, what language is that? Not human clearly, but does Flora know Basitin; I ddin't think Keith understood Keidran?] As for the real suggestion on the matter, bonus for Book Two, how about a printed alphabet if you're planning on adding more of this kind of text? ^_^ .
Corrections
- On the map, the cartographer's noun "strait" is spelled as the adjective "straight". "Basidian Straight" should be "Basidian Strait". - avwolf
- The wrong Chapter page was printed, after Chapter One comes Chapter Three, on second look, it just seems that the page for "Chapter Two" mistakenly says "Three", the actual "Chapter Three" is fine. (Offtopic, I just noticed Tom changed the order of his pages online; no clue how recent, maybe around his archive update; my own archive is incorrect now O o).
- Chapter 1, Page 7 (not including the chapter title page; this is a bit hard without page numbers), last panel: "Atleast she's asleep..."; needs a space between "At" and "least".
- Chapter 1, Last page; no longer includes dialogue of Trace hastily asking if Flora wants anything, yet later he does wonder again what he should get her (just a note of mine, not really wrong).
- Chapter 2, Page 2 (again not including the chapter title page, same note from now on), penultimate panel: "Stupid Beast."; "Beast" should be without capital.
- Chapter 2, Page 3, 3rd panel: "Your finally back!"; should be "You're".
- Chapter 2, Page 5, last panel: "We can travel to my city afterwords."; should be "afterwards".
- Chapter 2, Page 6, 1st panel: "A Ball of yarn."; no capital for "Ball".
- Chapter 2, Page 8, 4th panel: "-SIgh-"; the "I" should be in lower case.
- Chapter 2, Page 10, 5th panel (excluding the "Templar Academy"): "(...) someone to truely care (...)"; "truly" is the correct spelling.
- Chapter 2, Page 13, first panel: "Afterwords, you can do what you like."; should be "Afterwards".
- Chapter 2, Page 14, 4th panel: "Jeez, That's some (...)"; should be "Jeez. That's (...)" or "Jeez, that's (...)" [The last two panels on this page kept some of the older artwork, I like it though ^_^ ; the Keidran language learning has been omitted?].
- Chapter 2, Page 15, last panel: "(...) this Keidran truely does have (...)"; "truly" is the correct spelling.
- Chapter 2, Page 18-19, last & first panel: Flora says "What?" and Sythe replies with "Why? (...)"; either like online, have Flora also ask "Why?", or omit the "Why?" from Sythe's reply.
- Chapter 2, Page 23, last panel: "At least we're finall rid of that (...)"; "finally", slight typo.
- Chapter 2, Page 24, penultimate panel: "(...) has awaken my memories."; should be "awakened".
- Chapter 3, Page 1, Panel 7: "Trace, You know I trust you..."; the 1st 'you' should be without capital. - Arxos
- Chapter 3, Page 2, Panel 1: "Karen was saying you seemed to be un a hurry."; 'un' should be 'in'. - Arxos
- Chapter 3, Page 2, Panel 3: "There's a city nearby."; is said twice in a row. - Arxos
- Chapter 3, Page 5, Panel 3: "Free Keidran are not aloud in the city..."; "aloud" should be "allowed". - Oro_Kai
- All above this corrected. - Tom
- Chapter 3, Page 3, Panel 1: "It's a Templar Mana Battary."; "Battery" I assume.
- Chapter 3, Page 3, Panel 4: "Please, Stop this, Trace!"; should be either "Please, stop this, Trace." or "Please(!/.) Stop this, Trace.".
- Chapter 3, Page 3, Panel 4: "I am the grand Templar!"; should be "Grand Templar" as it's the title, and it has got a capital every other time.
- Chapter 3, Page 4, Panel 3: "she's just a child!"; capital on "she's" [Also, the note in the background, "Posing as a shopkeeper." it seems the jewellery store wasn't his first time .].
- Chapter 3, Page 6, Last panel: "G-grand Templar?"; should the second "g" not be capitalized as well, same reason as before, because it's the title?
- Chapter 3, Page 7, Panel 1: "(...) the Festival tomorrow."; should "Festival" start with a capital?
- Chapter 3, Page 7, Panel 3: "...this place really is peaceful..."; as it's not connected to the previous sentance (by "..." I mean), shouldn't this sentance start with a capital too?
- Chapter 3, Page 11, Panel 1: "Girl's Bathes" (sign); should be "Girl's Baths" if I'm not mistaken(?) [Also, "Demon Woman" is a 'name' I suppose then?].
- Chapter 3, Page 12, Panel 4: unimportant I suppose, but the tavern sign looks like it does say something, but I can't read it.
- Chapter 3, Page 15, Panel 2: "...at least, (...)"; same as a note above, as it's not connected to the previous sentance (by "..." I mean), shouldn't this sentance start with a capital, and in this case, the "..." moved to the end of the sentance?
- Chapter 3, Page 19, Panel 9: "Huh She... fell asleep?"; needs a "?" after "Huh".
- Chapter 3, Page 20, Panel 6: "Tom's PIzza Delivery."; the "I" in "PIzza" should be lower case.
- Insert big awww, the filler page isn't included xD !
- Chapter 4, Page 2, Panel 1: "Well, now that the humans are destractred, tell me, Flora..."; "distracted" is correct.
- Chapter 4, Page 2, Panel 2: "You are truely blessed (...)"; "truly" is the correct spelling.
- Chapter 4, Page 2, Panel 4: "And remember."; the sentance isn't complete, so shouldn't this end in either "," or "..."?
- Chapter 4, Page 7, Panel 6: "(...) Keith wating too long!"; small typo, should be "waiting".
- Chapter 4, Page 8, Panel 2: "Becides, with that symbol, (...)"; small typo, should be "Besides".
- Chapter 4, Page 12, Last panel: "Becides, if it's a male, (...)"; small typo, should be "Besides".
- Chapter 4, Page 13, Panel 2: "(...) animals then you think."; "then" should be "than" [I can't promise I didn't miss any grammar errors before, they're harder to spot for me than spelling].
- Chapter 4, Page 9-11, Panel N/A (Panel 7 on page 15; and page 16, 21 too): Just wondering, why are Eurche and Flora speaking human, and not Keidran?
- Chapter 4, Page 15, Panel 1: "<Euchre! I'm back!"; missed a ">" at the end of the sentance.
- Chapter 4, Page 15, Panel 4: "<He is your... new master, eh?"; missed a ">" at the end of the sentance.
- Chapter 4, Page 21, Panel 2: "huh? (...)"; "huh" needs a capital.
- Chapter 4, Page 21, Last panel: "(...) Trace go Berserk and (...)"; "Berserk" should be lower case, if I'm not mistaken.
- Chapter 4, Page 22, Panel 2: "(...) to the Tempars, (...)"; small typing error, "Templars".
- Chapter 4, Page 22, Panel 6: "You're plan is a failture!"; small typing error, "failure", remove the "t"; also "You're" should be "Your" as in possessive.
- Chapter 4, Page 32, Last panel: the panel no longer contains Eurche's and Keith's length and weight.
- Chapter 4, Last page, Panel 1: "...thank you."; same as a note a bit earlier, as it's not connected to the previous sentance (by "..." I mean), shouldn't this sentance start with a capital, and in this case, the "..." moved to the end of the sentance?
- New ones below.
- Chapter 2, Page 24, Panel 3: "You're betrayal has (...)"; should be "Your". - Escobar
- Chapter 2, Page 25, Panel 4: "Oh no, you're foot"; should be "your". - Escobar
- Chapter 2, Page 25, Panel 6: "Without you're memories"; should be "your". - Escobar
- Chapter 2, Page 26, Panel 5: "He wont try (...)"; should be "won't". - Escobar
- Chapter 4, Page 27, Panel 5: "After all the time We've been together"; "we've" should be lower case. - Escobar
- Chapter 4, Page 31, Panel 5: "It's just isn't normal", should be "It just isn't normal". - Escobar
- Chapter 2, Page 7, Panel 2: "This is a Subleseed Crystal."; missing a "t" in "Subtleseed". - philpem
- Chapter 2, Page 14, Panel 5: "I knew that Subtleseed Crystals (...)"; MAYBE (see this post) for this one, and the one above, "Crystal" probably shouldn't have an initial capital -- "Subtleseed" being the proper noun (i.e. the name of a particular 'thing'), "crystal" being a common noun (i.e. a type of thing). - philpem
Safekeeping, removed notes, ignore these:
Chapter 2, Page 2, 2nd panel: "what with you out fighting Keidran all the time."; just sounds a bit odd to me, may be because English is not my naitive language (someone check this please ^^).
Chapter 2, Page 24, penultimate panel: "(...) has awaken my memories."; should be "awakened" [Also, in the 1st panel, "Now he really will think (...)", doesn't "Now he will really think (...)" sound better, or am I mistaken?].